Helping someone with Post Natal Depression.

abbecer

Hiya Hollydays,

Just had a thought. I don't know if it would help but how about buying her the highest dose of St Johns Wort that you can get. Just give her it, tell her it is totally natural and that it may help. Do warn her to take precautions though as it can effect the pill. It's probably worth a try and she may not see it as being 'depression tablets'.

Rebecca x

hollydays

Thanks i will try your suggestions.I also asked her about her Omega 3 cos someone else on on another post re PND (I am not saying she has it,just surmising) said a particular dose was reccommended.Can anyone tell me where to find that info.I found this from a the POst Natal illness association leaflet" Many Mothers start to take the Pill...if a Mother is at all depressed she should stop taking the pill at the earlist opportunity.The pill can cause depression in some women and it is seen as an aggravating factor where a woman is depressed after birth.it is however very important the depressed mother does not become pregnant ..she will probably need drug treatment which cannot be given in early pregnancy." I have also read doctors give Progesterone treatment for this condition.

Savvy_Sue

hollydays wrote:

I have also read doctors give Progesterone treatment for this condition.

I think the theory is - certainly was - that progesterone has to be started immediately or nearly immediately post-birth to be effective. So if you've been ill after one birth, you could ask for it after any subsequent births, but it would be wise not to 'wait and see' if you become ill.

Look for posts by Ted Hutchinson on the appropriate dose of Omega Oils. Vitamin D is also supposed to help! There'll be plenty of them on the health board.

seven-day-weekend

Post-natal depression is very lonely.You perceive the expectation to be that you are delighted with your new baby, couldn't be happier, breast-feeding is the most wonderful thing you can do, everything in the garden is lovely, that you are totally fulfilled. Therefore you feel a complete freak and failure when that is not your experience.

I felt trapped more or less as soon as my son was born. I had been married for nine years, my husband and I enjoyed doing things together, and suddenly we couldn't any more. I hated breastfeedding; I felt like a dairy cow. I felt as though I had lost my identity, I wasn't me any more, just a provider to this screaming mite who did nothing but demand of me day and night. I couldn't just get up and go out whenever I wanted (or do anything whenever I wanted). If my son cried, I was anxious and thought I was doing everything wrong, if he didn't I thought he was dead.

Nobody, however, knew I felt like this (not even my husband). I was so ashamed I never let them know. On the surface I was a good mother, I did everything expected of me.
Nobody knew how useless and trapped and depersonalised I felt, I wouldn't have told anyone. My son was planned and wanted, I couldn't let anyone know how I felt.

After about a year, I began to feel a bit better, not as trapped because we could have a babysitter, not as dehumanised because there was a little room for 'me'. I still told no-one how I felt. Around me I could see other mums, some with three or four children; it seemed to be their metier in life, their raison d'etre; how could I possibly acknowledge how I hated it?

It wasn't till four or five years later that I realised ther were lots of people like me. I wish someone had told me, I needn't have felt so guilty and could have had some help. One of the reasons (but only one)that I only ever had one child was because I didn't want to go through that again, although if I had, I knew enough by then to get some help.

Please be a support to your friend, don't make her talk unless she wants to, offer to take the baby out sometimes, babysit while she goes to the hairdessers, tell her tales of other people with the same problem, let her know she's not a !!!!!! parent, it will all help.

abbecer

Thanks for sharing your post sevenday weekend,
my experience was very different to yours. I really enjoyed being a mum and I felt i was a natural at it But the PND took hold and made me suicidal and to this day i still don't understand why. I have a loving husband, two gorgeous sons and no worries as such. It is a wicked illness and can strike the most unsuspecting of people. Luckily things are great now but as you know it can take a long time to recover.

Rebecca x

seven-day-weekend

I just must add that I DID love my son all the way through the PND - but this actually made me feel even more guilty about feeling trapped, used and depersonalised.

I actually much preferred him being a teenager to being a baby (told you I was wierd!).

abbecer

Seven Day Weekend,

I hope i didn't offend you. I really never meant you didn't love your child. I was just saying that my experience was so different to yours. My boys are 1 and 4 and i had PND twice and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. At least i don't think i would!!!

Rebecca x

jellyhead

i think i've got it again this time - it can be mild. i'm just so glad that it's not like it was with my first baby! my sister saw her health visitor last month about feeling tired etc. and she was advised to take omega 3 (3, 6 and 9 was the advice), iron and a good multivit. she got them on 3 for 2 at boots and is feeling great now although i don't know which pill is making the difference, or if all 3 were necessary. that was for constant tiredness though, not up and down. i think it's what i need too but never remember or have the motivation to get down to boots and if i did i'd never remember to take them, can barely remember to eat or drink these days.

Savvy_Sue

jellyhead wrote:

never remember or have the motivation to get down to boots and if i did i'd never remember to take them, can barely remember to eat or drink these days.

Order online? Then all you have to do is remember to take the bally things ...

Hugs ...

seven-day-weekend

abbecer wrote:

Seven Day Weekend,

I hope i didn't offend you. I really never meant you didn't love your child. I was just saying that my experience was so different to yours. My boys are 1 and 4 and i had PND twice and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. At least i don't think i would!!!

Rebecca x

No off ence taken, I realised that you were just stating your experience as I have done.