I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

Stephb1986_2

Duchy, you are totally doing the right thing!! I wish I was!! 4 months tomorrow to go I'm not sleeping I feel ill all the time, I'm grumpy and just want it to be our wedding day

Steph xx

tillyenna

HELP ME... I'M A TOTAL BRIDEZILLA


Omg, so I thought what with our casual wedding that I was going to be super chilled... but I'm not, I'm a total bridezilla - reading ALL of this thread has just confirmed it for me... here are some of my complete bridezilla moments (please note, I likely will not do ANY of these, I'm a bridezilla in my head, but managing to be relatively nice in real life)


1. I want to dictate what my female guests wear... I've been to some weddings recently and seen people in dark, short, tight dresses... um no. This is my wedding, it's at my church, and my grandma will be there... yes the men will be in jeans, but please can you at least put on a pretty summer dress (it's September) and not wear dark colours, and not show me excessive amounts of thigh... tempted to put really grannyish skirts in the lobby and get the ushers to force anyone in a short skirt into one


2. The Boss and I are currently trying to find a way to phrase on our wedding invite that there is no option of 'only coming to the evening do' - you want to come to our wedding, you come to our WEDDING. You want to come to only part of it? Then you come to the CHURCH, not the usual, I know, but that's the bit that matters to us. (current plan is although the reception venue is going on the invites, we're not putting a time - just a time to be at the church)


3. If my mother refers to us as having the reception in "A lovely Victorian gardens with a restaurant" one more time I am going to slap her... It's a park mam. A park. With a caf!. There are swings and a slide and on the day there will be a bouncy castle... there's also a mini road for riding scooters and bikes on... we will be attending the reception ON scooters, because who wants to be an adult?


4. I want to move at the same time as I want to get married. TB and I currently live in a shoebox, and are planning to move this year, and if we end the lease in the month of the wedding then it will end two days before the wedding and I could stay in a hotel and not move into our married house until after the wedding... but The Boss says no, and you can tell by how I refer to him who gets final veto in our house :-( but... I am working on it with my amazing powers of persuasion (read 'irritating powers of nagging')


5. If I ask you whether you would like to come to my wedding (as I have done with a few friends where my relationship with them has been rocky of late, but we've been friends for so long that I want them there) then the correct response is not 'YEAH FREE BOOZE'
There will be no open bar. I do not drink a lot. TB does not drink a lot. We both have family members who struggle with alcohol, so whilst it will be there, it will not be a big deal. You make me feel like such a skinflint for not having a free bar when you say things like that.


6. No. I have not asked you to be my bridesmaid, even though I said we would when we were at school. School was a long time ago, and you've not really been there for me much recently, and you keep telling me you are emigrating to Australia this year but you don't know when... I'm sorry, I love you dearly, but my bridesmaids are going to be the two people I have known since BIRTH who are like sisters to me, and who will BE IN THE COUNTRY TO HELP ME ORGANISE MY WEDDING. Suck it up buttercup.


7. I know we're the only wedding you're hosting this year... you're not a 'wedding venue' very often. So can you please send me the frickin price list, I asked you WEEKS ago, and we've been to SEE you since, and you said you would... and yet, no price list.


8. My SIL2B outright asked me, infront of the kids, if I would have her son as page boy. (Admittedly, I am having her daughter as flower girl.) Um No. TB has two nephews and one niece, so I can have the one niece, to add to my two goddaughters, and three flower girls is a little bit excessive, but I thought it was a nice gesture to include his side of the family... but if I ask one nephew, I have to ask the other, and then I should ask my godson (brother of the goddaughters) and frankly... three pageboys and three flower girls is a little bit excessive. (TB has come to the rescue and is having tiny ushers in the form of his two nephews)


9. Lets go back to my mother for a second... I know that my vision of my perfect wedding is not what you consider a 'wedding', but can you stop sending me links to country houses... even if they have a 'win your dream wedding day' competition on, because a day at one of those houses, is not my dream wedding day - my dream wedding day is at my church, with my lovely minister, and then in my local park, on the swings, with a bouncy castle, being a massive child with TB, because he is a massive child too. No. You may not wear a hat. I don't care how funny you think it is. MY DAY. (and on the 'funny' note, will you stop joking about my day... just because it's casual, doesn't mean we can all make fun of it, yeah?)






I should be counting my lucky stars, because my MIL2B is lovely (although she did nearly have a heart attack when I said I was letting my bridesmaids wear whatever, and couldn't wrap her head around the fact that my bridesmaids might not match each other, or the colour scheme). My MOH and CBM are my oldest, dearest friends, and are fantastic and so excited for me. Everyone (bar two) I've spoken to about the wedding are so excited and say that ours is the wedding they are most looking forward to this year. My little bridesmaids and tiny flower girl are the sweetest children I know, and so excited I think they might explode before we get to September. Also I'm marrying my best friend - that kinda rocks. But still, I am managing to be a complete bridezilla... which is not what I want to be... HELP

Tashatutuw

Help... I am a Bridezilla and my confession is...

Though my Parents are being wonderful and contributing a substantial amount of money to help us have the wedding of our dreams I think my Mother shoud butt out a little and let me make some decisions.

My plan had always been to wear proper ballet pumps on my wedding day for the comfort, knowing I would be on my feet nearly all day. Our wedding reception venue fell through (a victim of the recent flooding they have unfortunately gone into voluntary liquidation), so we have instead booked an outdoor marquee venue (much much nicer venue, wouldn't have looked at it before because of the budget but we have made compromises elsewhere to afford new place) so I decided that soft soled ballet pumps would be a terrible idea on gravel, grass and a few woodland pathways... I have instead bought custom converse and arrange to have them 'blinged' with pearls and ribbon laces... I told my Mother and she said 'No'. Literally. Just no. So I said 'tough, I've already bought them and they're my bloody feet'.

I know I am being a spoilt brat, please forgive me, I am letting her have an awful lot of say because they are giving us an awful lot of money (my Mother forced my poor old Dad to stay on at work another year and put off his retirement to help pay) but surely there are limits?!

Also, my bridesmaid has a new boyf and I basically haven't seen her at all since we started planning the wedding. If I had known a year ago that this would be the state of our friendship I wouldn't have asked her. She used to basically be at my house 4-5 nights per week, I am lucky if she texts me once a fortnight now... I have paid £200 for her dress as she is having it custom made and feel I've wasted my budget! :mad:

tillyenna

oooh Tasha! you're not being a spoilt brat! Wear whatever shoes you like (I'm going for either ballet shoes or wellingtons, depending on the weather... but I might steal your converse idea - sounds brilliant!)


Although if your mother really does make a fuss you can always do what my MOH did and her mum made her wear proper wedding shoes for the ceremony, and literally the second they were done with it, she changed into her DMs


As for your bridesmaid - that's really sucky! chicks before d*cks always!

Tashatutuw

tillyenna wrote: »

oooh Tasha! you're not being a spoilt brat! Wear whatever shoes you like (I'm going for either ballet shoes or wellingtons, depending on the weather... but I might steal your converse idea - sounds brilliant!)


Although if your mother really does make a fuss you can always do what my MOH did and her mum made her wear proper wedding shoes for the ceremony, and literally the second they were done with it, she changed into her DMs


As for your bridesmaid - that's really sucky! chicks before d*cks always!

Thanks Tilly, its so frustrating the compromises you have to make at times. A lot of it, I really don't mind about but fundamentally, I want to be comfortable. My Mother isn't bothered about me wearing heels or anything but I think she thinks Converse are too casual, well I am a casual girl. I wear my connies to work every day because they are more comfortable than shoes.

Yeah not impressed with my bridesmaid, keep having a bit of a grump with her to see if she is intelligent enough to 'get it'... She doesn't.

Sounds like you have plenty on your plate as well - when are you getting married?

tillyenna

September :-/ EEEEK


Actually things are alright :-) The Boss is very good at keeping my bridezilla side under control... I just have to remember that when my mother and his mother suggest things (like loaning us the fake silk flowers from his sister's wedding that do NOT match our colour scheme) that they are just doing it to be KIND and not because they want to ruin MY PLAN. Lol, I'm obsessed with the plan. Have also managed to avoid any parentals giving us any money (although my mum and his dad are giving us sizable 'wedding gifts' we've told them they can't give us any money to pay for the wedding because I WANT CONTROL) which is both good and bad, because it's more expensive, but I don't have the issue of my mum going 'well I'm paying for it so...'


Have just extended an olive branch to mother and invited her up to see the venue next month, can't wait to see her face when she sees the caf! LOL.


When are you getting married Tasha? I'm beginning to feel it rushing towards me already :-/

Tashatutuw

2nd August and feel like we have soooo much left to do. Going to Mother's tonight (so she can cook me tea seeing as H2B is doing a double shift at work) and will go loads tonight. Had news from our WONDERFUL caterer today that he is going to do all our children's meals and teas and coffees free for us (we had hassle with our previous venue) which is a saving of about £200!!!! Chuffed!!

Well done for extending olive branch. Fingers crossed its not snapped when she see's the 'caf' lol... I don't blame you for not letting anyone help financially. We would have been getting married in 2020 if we hadn't lol!

tillyenna

Wow, August! That will be expensive LOL, frankly we are tailoring our wedding to our budget because we were more concerned with getting married this year and avoiding other people paying for it, than with having a huge do.


Also I've just had a revelation: it doesn't matter what dress code I put on the invitations, with 150 guests invited, SOMEONE is bound to mess it all up, so I might as well go with The Boss's suggestion and write 'Smart Casual' for everyone.


Now if only I could have similar revelations about all my other bridezillaisms

minerva_windsong

I am a Bridezilla and my confession is that I don't want our siblings' in-laws at our wedding!

OH's dad has got it into his head that we have to invite our siblings' in-laws (so an extra six people) to the whole day of our wedding, even to the extent of paying for their meals. I would be happy to compromise and say they can come to the evening do but we are almost at our limits on numbers for the ceremony and, if I'm being brutally honest, I don't want them there over people I actually care about. Or more specifically, I don't want OH's sister's mother-in-law there, because I think she would see it as free rein to interfere and having seen how much she upset OH's sister over her wedding I don't want her sticking her nose in at ours!

Is this a 'normal' thing to invite siblings' in-laws to these kind of family occasions? I don't remember my middle sister's in-laws going to my older sister's wedding (and for that matter I don't think OH's brother's in-laws went to his sister's wedding), but maybe I just come from a very odd family...

Mojisola

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Is this a 'normal' thing to invite siblings' in-laws to these kind of family occasions?

I would say it's extremely unusual.