MSE Pregnancy Club 18

rach

Just on my lunch...I have a lovely new back support for my chair at work- it's really helping and boss has agreed to working from home 1-2 days a week as long as I agree a work programme with my projects manager.

kitkat - re baptism, churches won't charge but some may want you to attend for a while beforehand and would hope you'd go along at least from time to time afterwards. Baptism is about the baby being welcomed into the church family so i'd have a think about whether that's what you want. It's not just about 'getting the baby done' as it were. You as parents plus the godparents will be asked to make some promises and in my (obviously completely personal opinion) it's worth thinking about whether you want to stand there and say them/mean them, otherwise it's just all a bit of a sham! My uncle refused to be my godfather as he said he didn't believe so didn't want to stand at the front and pretend he did. It's actually something I really respect him for! I am sure your local minister or vicar will happily talk you through it all as there are a few options!

We won't be getting the baby baptised as we (dh particularly) would want it to decide for itself. We may have a dedication in church but not sure yet.

DH is paying some money off the card tonight so i can order the xt hope that the special offer doesn't finish before then (will prob be weds when I can order it). I am excited.

I am thinking we might have to pull out of the wedding we're going to on sat...it's a 3 hour drive each way and I will have to drive, car has no air con so if it's hot will be unbearable. Just don't think I can drive 300 miles at the moment and my hops will be agony! I feel so bad though but think we have a good reason. I am so nerous about phoning friend but I can big up that i've not been well I guess.

delain

I wouldn't go to the wedding in your shoes!

Little monster has been really active the last few days, she's been driving me mad flapping about all the time. Ah well, back to the housework I go!

kitkat5566

Thanks Rach, I know what you mean completely by your message and have to admit both me and OH are pleased our parents didn't get us christened, as it leaves us open to choose our own faith. Its kinda the influence of my nan, she is in her late 80's and I am just hoping she gets to meet the little one. She really wants he/ she to be christened as she is quite religious herself. I know this isn't a particularly good reason to go ahead, but its almost like fullfilling her final wish as such? She has even kept my dads and uncles original christening gowns (50-55 years old!) for such an occasion. I don't normally like the idea of old stuff like this but they are silk, and have been beautifully kept for such a long time. OH and I haven't completely decided yet, as we don't want it to seem a sham as you said. Think I need to get on and pop this baby out first!! Lol.

Good luck with getting the Xt, hopefully the offer should still be on!

delain

My three go to the little church events that our village has and would probably like to be baptised. They do come home from girl's brigade full of little nuggets of Jesus information

I know OH wants little monster baptised, but then we'd have 2 sets of Godparents, as he's quite set on who he wants for little monster so I probably can't get all 4 done at once, which is what I'd like to do.

fernliebee

Kitkat- I think that is a completely legitimate reason for getting baby christened. My family and I are in no way religious so didn't even consider getting DD (or this one) christened as I feel it would mean nothing, however as it obviously means so much to your nan then IMHO I feel it has meaning behind it. It is like your nan is welcoming baby to the church, rather than you as parents iyswim. I would have no problem if my children decided they wanted to try going to church/ other religious building to try it out, and would have had no problem having them christened if it meant enough to someone I loved ie DH, my mum or MIL etc...

Ahhhh forgotten everything else I 'caught' up on! I'll be back after a re-read

pigpen

Just a thought Kitkat.. many churches offer a 'thanksgiving' service rather than the actual baptism.. that might be more appropriate.. I am TOTALLY against all this 'let them decide when they are older' because without actually experiencing attending church they cannot make an informed decision..it just seems a very feeble excuse IMO.. there is nothign to stop a baptised child going to a different church when they are older but I do think they need to experience it as a child in order to make such a decision.. very few people go from never attending church to attending as an adult. FWIW, I think it is mostly a pile of tosh.. a way of keeping the primitive masses in line and 'law abiding' through fear and persecution... therefore rather an absolete notion in this day and age with law enforcement and laws!

My cousin just had a party to celebrate her daughters birth.. no church appearance required!

KT1985

Just to wade in to this baptism/christening discussion, I agree with rach, but that is partly because of the faith that dh and I have and the church that we are members of now. We will be having a dedication service early next year to thank God for both Alex and Jellybaby in a public way, inviting our friends, family and our church family.

My view is that we shouldn't be making promises on behalf of our children, we should let them make up their own minds. yes, my children will grow up attending church as that is what dh and I do, but when the time comes they can choose whether to make that public declaration of faith for them selves or not as it is their choice.

There are alternatives to baptism, as a pp said you can have a thanksgiving service which doesn't involve making promises on behalf of the child, but instead asks you as parents to promise to bring up your child in a good and proper way, or you can hjave a secular naming ceremony.

Lots of churches will ask whether you/the Godparents have been baptised, Godparents more likely because of what the role of Godparent is supposed to mean, as the childs spiritual 'helper'.

I wasn't christened as a child and I am glad as it would have been hypocritical for my parents to do so as they are not believers and do not attend a church regularly. We didn't go to church as children, and I did decide as an adult to look into it and am now a Christian.

I guess you have to really think about why you are doing it and what you believe the benefit of it will be for your child/children.

Hope I haven't offended anyone, just sharing my opinion *goes back to her lurking place*

PS- I don't find my faith to be oppressing, but rather the opposite, entirely liberating and free from guilt- it helps me to see what there is to be thankful for and joyful about in each and every day.

pigpen

You don't make promises FOR and ON BEHALF OF your children.. you promise to bring them up with a belief in god and as a member of the church family.. that is something parents can promise to do so unless they have no intention of taking them to church it is hypocritical.. whether the children carry on with that as adults is what confirmation is about.. confirmation of their belief and taking on those promises for themselves..

smartie12

*sorry long post alert*

Hi:)

I've been a bit AWOL so hugs to those that need them and congrats to CAFC.

Sorry I always seem to have something to moan about but I'm not good. Firstly, I'm very depressed. I've suffered from depression in a non pregnant state. DH has been moaning and going on at me about being a miserable cow but after breaking down in floods of tears he's being a bit more understanding... after all depression is an illnes and it's not just me being moody!:o

Anyone know of natural remedies I can take?? I see midwife tomorrow and I know I'll just burst out crying so I'll have to tell her. She seems to be in the know about homeopathy... although can only hint at what to take;) I really don't want to take anymore medication as this poor bean has been through enough.

The devil child has been causing me grief as always!! Friday - no movement so nearly phoned labour ward but now he's very making up for it!! I've had bodily parts sticking out here, there and everywhere!:eek: My back really hurts, my ribs hurt, legs hurt *moan moan moan*:o

Oh and "oldies" may remember my infected big toe... well it's now *shudders* very :eek::eek::eek: I'm very scared by the fact the toe nail is very nearly coming off. What is under it I hate to think. I kill anyone going near my feet. I cringe at feet, toes, nails etc so I'm not dealing with it very well:o:o:o

The end:p Well it's not cos there's other stuff but there's only so much I should really bore you with!!

delain

Vent away! We all have those kinds of days. Not sure about natural remedies for depression, I know of st johns wort but I'm not sure if that's ok in pregnancy.