my boyfriend wants prenup and I'm pregnant

jclm_2

Thanks for all the messages - they really helped.

I spoke to my boyfriend and he really regrets asking me for a prenup. He said he hadn't given it much thought before asking me about it, and now he seems to regret it. He is afraid of me leaving him (due to the age gap), which is why he initially asked for the prenup.

In response to a few of the questions:
- the pregnancy was planned, though we didn't think it would happen so quickly (considering our ages)
- we weren't planning to get married before getting pregnant but always imagined getting married if I became pregnant
- in relation to my claiming maternity benefit: I won't be entitled to much, if anything, as I probably won't be employed when the baby comes and because of my boyfriend's high earnings. My 3-year contract is coming to an end and it will be very difficult for me to find another job during pregnancy. If I do find another job I won't be entitled to the bigger maternity package because I won't have been working there for long enough.

meritaten

Thanks for the update jclm, I hope you read all the replies and understand why we were so critical of your partner.
Its good to hear that he regrets asking for the prenup. especially from what you say in last post that you were planning a pregnancy and then marraige? why that way round? most people in love want marraige then kids?
You are going to hate me but i have to say this......whose idea was it to have a baby? his? I am wondering if he wanted a son and heir and was prepared to marry to get one, if his chosen one proves she can get pregnant..........but wasnt banking on maintaining a wife for the next 50 years.
sorry If I am wrong - but all my alarm bells are ringing - and if YOU were my daughter - I would be scared witless for you. as I think you are about to get hurt.
I Really Really hope I am wrong - perhaps I am too cynical, but everything you have said points to a money orientated person who loves to be in control.

skiTTish

Sorry but that is exactly as it sounds to me too ..
Once you give him the child he is after will he send you packing or give you reason to run -ie start messing around /treating you like crap ?
He wont have to support you or lose any of his assets and he ends up right where he wants ?
My spidey senses are tingling !!!

**confuzzled**

jclm wrote: »

I spoke to my boyfriend and he really regrets asking me for a prenup. He said he hadn't given it much thought before asking me about it, and now he seems to regret it. He is afraid of me leaving him (due to the age gap), which is why he initially asked for the prenup.

In response to a few of the questions:
- the pregnancy was planned, though we didn't think it would happen so quickly (considering our ages)
- we weren't planning to get married before getting pregnant but always imagined getting married if I became pregnant
- in relation to my claiming maternity benefit: I won't be entitled to much, if anything, as I probably won't be employed when the baby comes and because of my boyfriend's high earnings. My 3-year contract is coming to an end and it will be very difficult for me to find another job during pregnancy. If I do find another job I won't be entitled to the bigger maternity package because I won't have been working there for long enough.

I'm not going to make a comment about your relationship & your OH as it's all a bit odd to me! just wanted to say although you may not get SMP have a look on direct.gov website as you may be entitled to Maternity Allowance. Hope this helps x

katskorner

Hi,

If you are a contractor and self-employed you will have been paying weekly class 2 contributions during your time as self emplyed. If this is the case then you are entitled to claim maternity allowance for the full 9 months (it may even be more now) so make sure you claim. Your boyfriends earnings do not matter for this as it is based on YOUR entitlement. I was self-employed during my third pregnancy and I claimed MA this way. Just make sure you declare it as earnings n your tax return as it is a taxable benefit.

I really hope that you can be certain about the future if you marry him. Do consider it carefully. These things are not said in jest and he may say he regrets it now but there had to be some substance for his suggestion in the first place. Just exercise caution as you do not want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons.

He will have to contribute to the upkeep of your child regardless.

good luck and I am thinking about you. x

JoJoB

**confuzzled** wrote: »

I'm not going to make a comment about your relationship & your OH as it's all a bit odd to me! just wanted to say although you may not get SMP have a look on direct.gov website as you may be entitled to Maternity Allowance. Hope this helps x

And I'm pretty sure your partner's income will not be taken into account when calculating maternity allowance (unless things have changed from when I was last preggers).

Check out the maternity allowance guidelines and make sure you are working during the qualifying weeks.