JC's kick up the butt diary!

savingwannabe

This sounds so positive. Good on you! An ISA - fantastic!!! no more bailing him out. If he asks for money say you are struggling to pay your debts off not that you are saving too!!! (sorry to be a bossy boots). Good luck with second job. How is new job going?

How is dear daughter? i hope she is better. The sunshine has made such a difference to me. I have a real spring in my step now. I had a fab day at the poundshops and market in Portsmouth. All my friends are giggling in a nice way. They said most people go from rags to riches but i am going from riches to rags and having more fun in the process. I taught 2 terribly middleclass ladies to shop on a budget this weekend and they loved it too!!! Onwards and upwards my friend.

jasperconran

well after alot of rain last night and a gloomy start, the sun is now shining:j

Thanks SW:A glad you had a great time in Portsmouth. DD is much better now thanks, I am getting there slowly although I seem to have developed sinus issues:( which is a bit of pain.

I didnt get much work done on Friday in my new job as my mum got rushed into hospital, she is ok thankfully. But I really need to knuckle down this week and get some actual work done. Dont want to pee off my new bosses:eek: the second job is only for a couple of hours a day to start, but the guy I spoke too said hopefully he will be able to give me more hours/better money, so fingers crossed.:)

I am glad I took the plunge and did the ISA. I am also going back to putting money away each month starting in April for things like car tax, insurances etc. I was doing that last year, but if I remember correctly, I ended up using the money I had saved to bail out OH with his CC arrears:mad:. No more of that thank goodness, now we are on a DMP. Mind you, I wouldnt bail him out now anyway!

Hope you are all well, have a great day everyone and enjoy the sunshine:)

jasperconran

Im feeling tonight. I should be on a high, what with officially having two jobs as of today, I should be:j:j but im not.

OH is really down and (I think) feeling a bit sorry for himself at the min. He is talking about selling the house, not to reduce debts but to reduce our bills/mortgage. He is all doom and gloom at the moment and im getting the brunt of it. He is back to constantly having a go at me, and picking holes in literally everything I say or do:(:(

So I've just decided that I am only going to speak to him when I absolutely have to. After everything ive been through just lately, cant believe he is acting like this!? I shouldnt be surprised I guess, and maybe I shouldnt be so soft/sensitive..... but thats me!

Thank god ive got this site/diary where I can rant and rant and rant!!! I feel like crying, but I know thats not the answer. Ive got to carry on being strong and must not let him get to me, but sometimes it can be so wearing and makes me extremely tired.

Oh well, hopefully the sun will be shining tommorow and that will make me feel good again:) hope you are all well guys

take care:)

savingwannabe

He is mean to you JC. I dont like him at all. I think he is horrid. I would put salt in his tea or itching powder in his underwear!!!!

If you lived by me we could meet up and we could have lunch. I hope you are ok. When he get's like this you must say how unpleasant he is being and how unfair. If i ever meet him i will tell him he is a pig and kick him really hard and shout at him and tell him off. You are so nice. I hope the job is going well and you are making friends. I hope one day he grows up and stops picking on you. Are you having the chance to see your friends so you can get out and about and see that people do like being with you? you must do it for your confidence. The day's are getting brighter and that is cheering me up. I am resting a bit more if i can and i am looking forward to the weekend as i am doing 'happy me' things. It is nice to be on my own so i can watch nice tv and go shopping where i want, i love my Portsmouth friends but sometime i just need space. The MSE'rs on our thread are having a meet soon. If you live anywhere by Newcastle or Edinburgh you are very welcome Pm me if you live there. Lot's of love, stay cheerful and focus on happy things. I wish you lived nearby love kit.

jasperconran

Thank you SW:D

Dont know what I would do without you and the other friends I have made on MSE. I have not worked yesterday or today due to feeling so low, not good:eek: Its turned cold and grey here, which is most depressing:(. What with DD being unwell, not a good time.

I am working from home tommorow, I really need to get my backside in gear, dont want to lose my new jobs before I have even started.....I need to be independent and not have to rely on OH anymore. I need to do this for myself and DD. I sometimes think that OH doesnt want me to be independent, but that all needs to change. Some days I wake up feeling soooo positive, but then, it doesnt take alot for me to go back to feeling low.

Oh well, onwards and upwards I guess. I will work this all out.

Thanks for being there SW:D take care


JC

savingwannabe

Sweetie did the dr give you any antidepressants? have they suggested counselling to you to build up your self esteem? You are doing so well but OH is sooo negative it is draining you. Do not put yourself down sweetiepie. Write a list of things that make you happy: music, tv programmes, a friend you can ring, a walk, a favourite item of clothing etc something that makes you feel good when you feel down work your way through the list. Sometimes you just need to cry to let off steam but this should not be essential every day. If it keeps happening please go back to your doctor they can help you in so many ways.

Take it one day at a time. I am so sorry you are going through this. I joined MSE almost a year ago is that when we met? my life has moved on in so many ways. I had cognitive behavioural therapy - dont know what i learned but i have moved on - i have had made fantastic friends and i am making more every day. I am learning lots, am still a miserable sod but there are happy days now. It has been a good year. There are so many people that can help you you are doing the right things with the ISA , DMP, things are better but i would still like to have a good talk with your husband to find out why he is soo unhelpful. Still miracles do happen everyday. He will figure it out one day i suppose. I wish he would hurry up.

love you lots, kit.:kisses3:

turfy6

Hi JC just want to echo SW's thoughts too, i think you are far too good for "him", anyway not to be negative just try to have some positive thoughts you are doing well and you will make friends at work, you can get through this and were all here if you need to have a rant, we all do from time to time. Take care were all thinking of you.:)

chevalier

Sorry to hear things in your personal life is are so pants at the moment. I hope your mum is ok

Yeah to the extra job, and to being able to work from home. Hope things improve now spring is just around the corner
chev

savingwannabe

Weather is glorious down here. Hope you are managing to enjoy it with DD. Brightness helps remember to do happy things treat yourself everyday. hugs, kit.

jasperconran

well ive not been around for a while, tut tut!

Not much has changed really. still in a rut that I cant get out of Still havent got round to doing ebay, god Im pathetic!!!:mad: So still not making any money, and we are still spending (I feel) too much money on food etc.

On a brighter note, I have now finally sorted out proper meal plans with the help of the netmums site. great inspiration on there. so got this months food shopping for under £100:j then come the takeaways :mad:

I am now re-training for a different job, current one not working out at all and I havent been paid. Cant get hold of my boss either

Downside is that I dont get paid for the training so I wont actually start earning until about June:eek:

Oh well, at least the sun is shining, so that always makes me feel better lol. hope you are all well