JC's kick up the butt diary!

jasperconran

40somethingmum wrote: »

Hi Jasper,

So pleased that you are feeling chirpier this morning.:) Good luck with the e-baying .... I am sure you will do well. As you say every little penny counts. Just keep plodding;)

(((Hugs))

40Smxx

hiya 40sm,

thanks for popping in. I will keep plodding, thats all I can do really. Feeling alot more positive today, need to get lots done, but I can do it!

have a good day x

Choc-addict

Glad to see you are more positive today Have yourself a good day x

jasperconran

well, I have had a lovely day today. I took DD and her friend to the local swimming pool for a change and the best thing about it was, it was free!:j we get free swimming here until the kids are 16!!. I was a bit naughty tho, and brought myself a hot chocolate and some crisps whilst I was there:( made me feel good at the time tho! lol

I suppose I had better get something sorted out for dinner, hope you have all had a great day. I was supposed to be going for a NSD today, oh well, better luck tommorow!!

speak to you all later x

jasperconran

well not a happy bunny. it has suddenly occurred to me that I have been paying £300 per month off of one of my OH's ccs. ok not at 0% mind you, but the interest isnt mega bad, so I thought I was making a dent. anyway, I have just found out after his stupid spending spree on saturday (which some of you will know, I didnt wanna go on), he has just £30.35 left before he reaches his limit. His limit by the way is £11,900:eek: There was me thinking I was making headway, and I am evidently banging my head against a brick wall!!!!! I have had to transfer some money from MY savings account that I had put by for other emergencies over to his flaming cc, so that he doesnt go over his limit and get charged!!! I am so flaming :mad: and after I have had such a good day too, and I was starting to feel quite positive.

I need to sort this out sharpish. Oh well, rant over...... again!!!

BLT_2

jasperconran wrote: »

well not a happy bunny. it has suddenly occurred to me that I have been paying £300 per month off of one of my OH's ccs. ok not at 0% mind you, but the interest isnt mega bad, so I thought I was making a dent. anyway, I have just found out after his stupid spending spree on saturday (which some of you will know, I didnt wanna go on), he has just £30.35 left before he reaches his limit. His limit by the way is £11,900:eek: There was me thinking I was making headway, and I am evidently banging my head against a brick wall!!!!! I have had to transfer some money from MY savings account that I had put by for other emergencies over to his flaming cc, so that he doesnt go over his limit and get charged!!! I am so flaming :mad: and after I have had such a good day too, and I was starting to feel quite positive.

I need to sort this out sharpish. Oh well, rant over...... again!!!

Are you sure he is mentally stable?? After all your stress and sleepless nights trying to sort out your debt issues, he decides that the way forward is to ebay. There is little point in you selling stuff on ebay, they way your OH works he may end up buying the stuff off you .

Clearly he did not see you walking around the house looking for stuff to sell, or maybe he thinks you are doing it so that he can afford a few computer games?

He is refusing to take responsibility for his actions and leaving the issues to you, perhaps its time for you to stop taking responsibility for his actions and find some way of seperating your finances?

jasperconran

BLT wrote: »

Are you sure he is mentally stable?? After all your stress and sleepless nights trying to sort out your debt issues, he decides that the way forward is to ebay. There is little point in you selling stuff on ebay, they way your OH works he may end up buying the stuff off you .

Clearly he did not see you walking around the house looking for stuff to sell, or maybe he thinks you are doing it so that he can afford a few computer games?

He is refusing to take responsibility for his actions and leaving the issues to you, perhaps its time for you to stop taking responsibility for his actions and find some way of seperating your finances?

Hiya BLT, I know what you are saying. The only things we have joint really are bank account and mortgage and secured loan obviously!. I know I shouldnt take all the responsibility, but I am a very caring, sensitive person, sad but true:( I know how bad he is with money, crikey his sister is exactly the flaming same!!! She has got herself into more trouble than I care to remember over the years. I know deep down in my heart, you are right. But I cant help how I feel. I know I wont be able to live with myself if I left him to cope on his own with the finances. I know how stupid that must sound to people, but I cant help the way I am. Maybe I am stupid for being so caring, but you cant help the way you are, can you??

I know you will probably think im crazy, and yes, you are probably right. Maybe I will get passed these feelings with help and support, maybe I wont. I just dont know. I think I am still quite confused at the min as to how I really feel about things. I think I need to sit down whilst OH is away next week and do some long hard thinking about what I want to do.

Thanks for popping in, your comments and views are appreciated, as are everyone elses. I want you all to know that.

Will keep you all posted. x

savingwannabe

Hello Jc,

Can an older member of the family or someone he respects maybe tell him he is being childish and you are the grown up in this relationship. But a bit more discretely & maybe get him to jump on board?


:j

jasperconran

savingwannabe wrote: »

Hello Jc,

Can an older member of the family or someone he respects maybe tell him he is being childish and you are the grown up in this relationship. But a bit more discretely & maybe get him to jump on board?


Hiya savingwannabe, unfortunately I doubt it:( most of the older members of the family have now passed on. Its kinda hard to explain, but my OH basically brought himself up, so he has always done what he wanted to do, whether right or wrong.

He is one of these people that you cant tell him something, if that makes sense?? He is always in the right, and he is never wrong!! if you see what I mean. Which makes everything twice as frustrating! Funny, but I have just read one of my previous posts where I said that I wasnt going to whinge and wallow in self pity lol. I'm not doing very well at the minute am I!

I totally understand where you are coming from, but sadly, I cant see your suggestion working out at all, even I tried it. It would make my life even worse, ie, as in my life would turn into literally, a living hell. unfortunately, my life/marriage is a very long winded complicated tale, and I aint gonna bore you poor souls with the details:(

Oh well, onwards and upwards as they say!!!! I can and will get thru this, and I truly believe that it will make me a better, stronger person for it!!:)

speak soon savingwannabe x

Choc-addict

Hey there,

Sorry you are having a tad down evening, especially after such a great start! Even if you can make in roads into your debts alone then you have a fighting chance - that's if you do have some in your name only?

He's a lucky man to have you on board and at least you can carry on knowing this. Perhaps put it all down in writing?? Perhaps seeing the figures on paper and how much better off he would be if it was paid off may help?

You're making a good start if you are taking action and have some savings. Hopefully he'll reach his limit then he can't spend any more :mad: I think the trick here may be that you will have to stop bailing him out in such situs - I know this will be hard, i'd be the same as a bit of a softy am I! But you made need to get tough if you want it gone.

Keep posting, you have all our support here and we're behind you 100%

jasperconran

morning everyone, sun is shining here, although still a bit chilly.

Got a busy day ahead, DD is out all day today so at least I wont have her moaning that shes bored and doesnt wanna come out with me:rotfl:

Ebaying tonight, gotta get that sorted out as I have got a mega busy weekend coming up with DD's birthday. Hopefully my sales will be better this time!! Also is Amazon the best place to sell books, games and CDs?

Hiya choc-addict, thanks popping in last night. Out of our unsecured debt, ive got 3 accounts in my name only, OH has got 4!:eek: I know you are right and I need to stop bailing him out, but its hard. I must say he was being surprisingly nice last night, which is confusing. I am wondering whether he does actually realise what a moaning nasty piece of work he can be! you never know!

Anyway have a great day everyone, will catch up with you all later.

ps. I have to say, I do actually find writing this diary rather theraputic now!:)