Stepdad turning nasty after Mum's death.

Quinny_2

This is a bit long winded, but please bear with me……

My Mum married my stepdad about 40 years ago, and I have sister as a result of this, and I get on very well with her. Mum sadly died on Feb 21st age 64 almost suddenly, and her dying wish was to make sure I got my fair share. In the days up to her death, and afterwards, he swore that he would honour my Mum’s wishes. He has now decided that we are going to get nothing, and he won’t even allow me entry to the house they and we shared since 1973. (There is no mortgage on it and it’s worth maybe £100k)

Over the years he was both mentally and physically abusive to Mum, and I guess now she’s gone, he is trying to turn his mental abuse to us. However, at 45 I’m a little bit wise to it and so is sister at 39. Mum had even made plans to leave him before she died, and they even slept in different beds for over 10 years, so in effect the marriage was over.

Now he has 2 children from a brief first marriage, and Mum and the daughter never got on, and all of a sudden, yes you’ve guessed it, she has now started to make contact. We never even got sent a condolence card, and it was his birthday last Sunday and he never got a birthday card off her, but got one off me.

Now before anyone goes and suggests I’m only after the cash myself, (After deductions Mum left about £8k yet he says there’s only £4k.) I’m not that bothered, and yes a little extra is always nice, but our youngest daughter is doing German language at school and a trip to Berlin is in the offing later this year, and we planned to use some of Mum’s money to finance that, and our other daughter has just had a baby and like all new Mum’s could do with a little bit extra herself. It’s not the money here, it’s the principal.

He even won’t let us sort through her possessions, but has said we can have her clothes and shoes only. There are things that he is never going to use like a brand new food mixer, yoghurt maker, bread maker etc etc, but he wants to keep them. At 75 is he likely to use them? I think not.

The fact is he never got on with Mum’s side of the family, and as most of them have now died, he is looking at me as one of the sole survivors of that dynasty, and is suddenly turning nasty. He even sent me a nasty hurtful e.mail on Sunday, the day of his birthday and the day he got our cards, saying that I would get nothing.

Now I know that because of the inheritance cash, he is over the threshold for council tax benefit, but has just renewed his claim and got it, he also claims other benefits that in my opinion he’s claiming fraudulently, so do I bubble him to get my own back, or do I sit pretty and just give him enough rope to hang himself with over a period of time, and use that as justice for Mum’s memory?

I have read on some sites that as he is the surviving spouse he can do what he wants, yet on others, sister and I are entitled to her possessions and a claim on her estate up to £125k even though he survives her.

Has anyone experienced this, and can help out here?

[FONT=&quot]Thanks.[/FONT]

carefullycautious

Did your mum leave a will. You are not allowed to touch anything belonging to her as you are not classed as her next of kin.

Sadly as you are adults and are not financially dependant you may not receive anything. Some one will correct me if I am wrong.

Quinny_2

No will. Another thing she had on her to do list but sadly never got round to it.

xmaslolly76

Quinney sorry for the loss of your mom iys not a nice thing to go through mine died 2 years ago now.

I cant help on where you stand legally with inheritance but i believe her husband will get everything unless there was a will i may be wrong and i hope i am.

Personally if there is nothing you can do then just let him get on with it, sounds like his ex will clean him out anyway and he will die a very lonely bitter old man and it will be all his own doing!!

Quinny_2

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

he will die a very lonely bitter old man and it will be all his own doing!!

The thoughts of sister and me

McKneff

Thats the law of intestacy I'm afraid.
No will then everything passes to the next of kin.
If you were not dependant then you will inheriti nothing Im afraid.

meritaten

this is from the directgov site

Who will inherit the deceased's estate?

If someone dies without a will, there are rules for deciding who inherits the estate. The outcome depends on the deceased's personal circumstances.
For those who were married or in a civil partnership when they died, the first person entitled to the estate is their spouse or civil partner, although they will not necessarily inherit all of it. The amount they would inherit depends on how much is in the estate, and which blood relatives survive.
The rules regarding inheritance changed in February 2009, so now different rules apply depending on whether the deceased person died before or after 1 February 2009.
These rules are complex, but information is available from the Probate Service.

I would suggest you get further advice from the probate service as the directgov site suggests - you may have a claim you may not - but at least you can give the auld buggger some hassle over it!

McKneff

meritaten wrote: »

this is from the directgov site

Who will inherit the deceased's estate?

If someone dies without a will, there are rules for deciding who inherits the estate. The outcome depends on the deceased's personal circumstances.
For those who were married or in a civil partnership when they died, the first person entitled to the estate is their spouse or civil partner, although they will not necessarily inherit all of it. The amount they would inherit depends on how much is in the estate, and which blood relatives survive.
The rules regarding inheritance changed in February 2009, so now different rules apply depending on whether the deceased person died before or after 1 February 2009.
These rules are complex, but information is available from the Probate Service.

I would suggest you get further advice from the probate service as the directgov site suggests - you may have a claim you may not - but at least you can give the auld buggger some hassle over it!

But don't hold your breath, because it is unlikely

BitterAndTwisted

If my mum had died and left that small an estate I wouldn't be getting all angsty about a couple of kitchen appliances. It's not about the money, it's about the principle apparently but you have given every appearance of having spent some of the money you won't be getting in your mind already. Does not compute

Try to draw a line under it and move on. It will be better for your mental health in the long run, I'm sure.

snowmaid

Move on and close the door. Don't let memories of your Mom be tarnished by this fool.

Oldernotwiser

You can claim Council Tax Benefit with savings of up to 16,000, although it's reduced if it's over 6,000; the situation with this will be unchanged from before your mother's death.

If you really believe that "they even slept in different beds for over 10 years, so in effect the marriage was over" then you may be in for a shock in your old age.

I'm sure that this is the sort of story where there are definitely two sides.