Without a paddle... support for anyone starting a DMP in 2010 (part2)

Mephista

Hi all

Here is my update for this crappy Monday!!

I have just had the dreaded interview with my boss in the BBC about my contract post here and while she will do her best to extend it on a rolling month basis at the end of April, she has had it confirmed that a permanent post will only be part-time. I could have cried. That was after I had sat and chatted with her about my disastrous personal life to give her the update.

Anyway I'm trying to stay hopeful and am still applying for everything I see but I can't even get a part time evening and weekend job - let alone a full time one. It's so difficult.

She asked how I was coping and I felt like screaming at the world "I'm NOT"!! Anyway, instead I said I was coping okay and was just trying to live from day to day and tried to keep faith that something good would come out of all of this. At least I got the money I needed from my ex yesterday so between it and my salary for this month, I've about 4 weeks grace before I have to start really worrying about everything. I'm really trying not to think about it because it doesn't bear thinking about.

At the moment, trying to sell up or rent out (both of which could take ages) my house and moving home is looking more and more like the only option I'm going to have left.

God - sorry this is all so depressing but even though I keep trying to see a bright side - somebody keeps swatting it away with a giant hammer. Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh!:mad:

I sometimes wonder how I allowed myself to get into this crappy mess and I feel that the only person I can point the finger at is myself. Doesn't help me feel any better though .

Hopelessly_Hopeful

Teds, keep a look out on grabbit, as you know bargains to be had. I got an estee lauder one off amazon via grabbit for £9 instead of £40! Also often people offload unwanted presents that they have started but not to their tastes on ebay. Good idea re samples though. We have to get through this. The odd treat is hardly 2 weeks in the Maldives! Good luck.

Oh Mephista, big big hugs. Moan all you like. That's what we are here for to support each other. What have the debt charities said about your new situation? I'm worried for you that you are going to jump in and out of this and that in an attempt to make things better but it will not neccesarily. Have you got someone you can confide in who can help you look at the situation objectively. It feels that you are planning for the best, but from a creditor perspective its better for the soul to plan for the regular and then if you are able to exceed it from time to time then better that then not meeting the expectation. I looked at the possibility of selling my house but when you build in all the costs my DMP would have been over before I reaped back the true cost of it and not just the difference in pounds and pence between rent and mortgage. Is it worth posting a SOA so we can see if we can help? Sending positive vibes over your way.

HHx

eyeopener2

Hi Mephista

Oh I really don't know what to say more than HH has said. I agree that maybe posting a SOA could help. MAybe we can see something that you've missed or give some ideas (this is all I can think of at the moment).

CAB were your initial contact weren't they? Have they any ideas or can they offer any support at all?

Keep hopeful please, don't give up cos you never know what is round the corner.

Have a big hug from me.

E2

newbeginning_2

tedsd wrote: »

On the thrifty front I noticed that sellers on Ebay have perfume samples for a couple of quid and as I can no longer afford a full size bottle I may treat myself to some Dior or similar - not quite an essential but it all helps as a lift from the daily drudge. (is that a word?):j

Not sure where I read this but I know it was on these forums somewhere, But if you go in the perfume shops they do have proper samples - they keep them under the counter though so you have to ask for them, but if you say you're buying a gift for someone and was going to ask them to pick something they'll give you a few Even more MSE!

mikon

Mephista wrote: »

Hi all

Here is my update for this crappy Monday!!

I have just had the dreaded interview with my boss in the BBC about my contract post here and while she will do her best to extend it on a rolling month basis at the end of April, she has had it confirmed that a permanent post will only be part-time. I could have cried. That was after I had sat and chatted with her about my disastrous personal life to give her the update.

Anyway I'm trying to stay hopeful and am still applying for everything I see but I can't even get a part time evening and weekend job - let alone a full time one. It's so difficult.

She asked how I was coping and I felt like screaming at the world "I'm NOT"!! Anyway, instead I said I was coping okay and was just trying to live from day to day and tried to keep faith that something good would come out of all of this. At least I got the money I needed from my ex yesterday so between it and my salary for this month, I've about 4 weeks grace before I have to start really worrying about everything. I'm really trying not to think about it because it doesn't bear thinking about.

At the moment, trying to sell up or rent out (both of which could take ages) my house and moving home is looking more and more like the only option I'm going to have left.

God - sorry this is all so depressing but even though I keep trying to see a bright side - somebody keeps swatting it away with a giant hammer. Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh!:mad:

I sometimes wonder how I allowed myself to get into this crappy mess and I feel that the only person I can point the finger at is myself. Doesn't help me feel any better though .

Hi Mephista

I just want you to know that we are hear to support you and guide you through this difficult time. Whilst we cannot give you the financial support we can give you the moral support. No one understands better than us on this forum that when the rest of the country is tightening its belts we have already done that and we find it extremely difficult to cut back when we are already down to the bone.

If things get to bad just do what I am going to do and review your finances and contact CCCS and make a revised offer to all your creditors. Last week as you know I was worried about this, but now after the support offered on here my new goal is to reduce my payments and start to save some money to make F & Fs. I have being doing some research and have found that creditors will start looking at F & Fs after defaulting and charging your account off. This will reduce my debt and hopefully bring my DFD closer.

Please Mephista please hang in there because i know further down the months i will need your support. If you need to talk just come on here and rant get it off your chest I will be here for you.

Do not let them grind you down, you will loose certain battles but you will win the war over all. Why because your strong and better than them.

Pay what you can I mean if your like me you will already have paid thousands of pounds off your debts in interest even before your DMP started. Pay what you can and nothing more.

As for how did we get into this mess well I will tell you how

Bad Financial Management on our behalf +Banks not doing tighter checks on the ability to pay the debt back + Greedy Banks offering further Credit = DMP. do not blame yourself its not all your fault. We all ask ourselves this question when we are down in the dumps.

Come on tomorrow is another day and as long as you have your health and your family your ok. I know a lady that tonight is sitting in intensive care looking at her baby son. She has been told he may not make the next 48hrs. Now that puts things into perspective. I bet she wishes she could have her son healthy and be in our predicament I certainly do not want to be in hers.

Sorry for going on but you can get over this Big Hug Mephista.

Mikon

Hopelessly_Hopeful

tedsd wrote: »

Thanks for the replies HH and newbeginning. Looks like I need to go and get some free perfume samples, sell them on ebay myself and use the money to buy some £9 perfume off Amazon...sorted!

Genius :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Mephista

Hi all

Thank you so much for the hugs and support. It has meant a lot to me.

My husband was actually the one who got me into this mess because I supported him through retraining in his job when he needed it for years and then supported him until he obtained full employment. Once I lost my job it seems as though slowly but surely, he withdrew his support and lost interest in me. What can I say. Yes the banks did collude but to be honest, mine was more personal than that. I cannot begin to tell you all of the pain and hurt I am currently carrying around with me - nevermind all of these additional issues.

But don't worry. I am a strong character, that's for sure. I need to be to survive this. I will give up nothing without a fight and once I find out whether I am here for another 4 weeks after April or whether I am unemployed or have a new job at a lower wage, I will begin to look at my money properly then. I can use CAB but feel at the moment I will have more control explaining my situation to my creditors myself. I have all of the relevant direct contact details since I did most of the work for CAB anyway.

If the bit comes to the bit, I do appreciate your offer of looking through my expenditure and I might take up the offer on a private level with some of you to see what you think but I'm not convinced I'm quite there yet.

Somewhere there has to be an end to this madness. You are absolutely right Mikon. There are people much worse off than me dealing with life and death situations but from my point of view, I really feel downtrodden, bounced on, kicked a little and then chucked in a washing machine for extra effect! ... and I'll still bounce out fighting with my last breath.

You have all been wonderful and I appreciate everything you have said and given advice or kind words on. Please know that I will always do the same for you and will never forget how much of a lifeline you have all been.

Mephista

Hopelessly_Hopeful wrote: »

Teds, keep a look out on grabbit, as you know bargains to be had. I got an estee lauder one off amazon via grabbit for £9 instead of £40! Also often people offload unwanted presents that they have started but not to their tastes on ebay. Good idea re samples though. We have to get through this. The odd treat is hardly 2 weeks in the Maldives! Good luck.

Oh Mephista, big big hugs. Moan all you like. That's what we are here for to support each other. What have the debt charities said about your new situation? I'm worried for you that you are going to jump in and out of this and that in an attempt to make things better but it will not neccesarily. Have you got someone you can confide in who can help you look at the situation objectively. It feels that you are planning for the best, but from a creditor perspective its better for the soul to plan for the regular and then if you are able to exceed it from time to time then better that then not meeting the expectation. I looked at the possibility of selling my house but when you build in all the costs my DMP would have been over before I reaped back the true cost of it and not just the difference in pounds and pence between rent and mortgage. Is it worth posting a SOA so we can see if we can help? Sending positive vibes over your way.

HHx

Hi Hopelessly

As always your love and support is deeply appreciated and I'm glad you have been here to help me and at least help me feel that I am not alone with these horrible events which are currently taking their toll on me. I truly believe I am due a turn of luck sometime soon.

You are part of that. Thank you. :blushing:

Mephista

eyeopener2 wrote: »

Hi Mephista

Oh I really don't know what to say more than HH has said. I agree that maybe posting a SOA could help. MAybe we can see something that you've missed or give some ideas (this is all I can think of at the moment).

CAB were your initial contact weren't they? Have they any ideas or can they offer any support at all?

Keep hopeful please, don't give up cos you never know what is round the corner.

Have a big hug from me.

E2

Hi Eyeopener

As always your love and support is deeply appreciated and I'm glad you have been here to help me. I never thought about things that way when I dreaded the fact I might lose the house and your right. I could end up worse off. They will most definitely want more money from me and would probably reinstate interest. Don't worry I haven't given up yet. Almost but not quite a case of "over my dead body" but I'll give it a bloomin good try.

Thank you. :blushing:

Mephista

mikon wrote: »

Hi Mephista

I just want you to know that we are hear to support you and guide you through this difficult time. Whilst we cannot give you the financial support we can give you the moral support. No one understands better than us on this forum that when the rest of the country is tightening its belts we have already done that and we find it extremely difficult to cut back when we are already down to the bone.

If things get to bad just do what I am going to do and review your finances and contact CCCS and make a revised offer to all your creditors. Last week as you know I was worried about this, but now after the support offered on here my new goal is to reduce my payments and start to save some money to make F & Fs. I have being doing some research and have found that creditors will start looking at F & Fs after defaulting and charging your account off. This will reduce my debt and hopefully bring my DFD closer.

Please Mephista please hang in there because i know further down the months i will need your support. If you need to talk just come on here and rant get it off your chest I will be here for you.

Do not let them grind you down, you will loose certain battles but you will win the war over all. Why because your strong and better than them.

Pay what you can I mean if your like me you will already have paid thousands of pounds off your debts in interest even before your DMP started. Pay what you can and nothing more.

As for how did we get into this mess well I will tell you how

Bad Financial Management on our behalf +Banks not doing tighter checks on the ability to pay the debt back + Greedy Banks offering further Credit = DMP. do not blame yourself its not all your fault. We all ask ourselves this question when we are down in the dumps.

Come on tomorrow is another day and as long as you have your health and your family your ok. I know a lady that tonight is sitting in intensive care looking at her baby son. She has been told he may not make the next 48hrs. Now that puts things into perspective. I bet she wishes she could have her son healthy and be in our predicament I certainly do not want to be in hers.

Sorry for going on but you can get over this Big Hug Mephista.

Mikon

Hi Mikon

What can I say? Thanks so much for taking the time to think about me in such detail and give me advice. I've had more support from you throughout this than I ever had from my ex and that wouldn't be hard. You have been an inspiration throughout this forum and I don't know where I would be without all your help. I will never forget that you were there for me.

As always your love and support is deeply appreciated and I'm glad you have been here to help me and at least help me feel that I am not alone with these horrible events which are currently taking their toll on me. I truly believe I am due a turn of luck sometime soon and yes, putting things into perspective was right and just and it did help. Unfortunately I still have to struggle with dealing with my own perspective and how the hell to get myself out of it.

Thank you. :blushing: