Weezl and friends Phase 2 -giving it a whirl for Shirl! Testing meal plan for a month

weezl74

SusanC wrote: »

But where are the people who are criticising the website/planner/recipes? If someone comes to the site from google (or from a recommendation on a blog or on Facebook etc.), would they see the criticisms?

70% of our visitors come from referring websites, of which the vast majority is here (MSE)

So I might be wrong, and thank you for debating it with me but I would say in response to your point above, yes, I do believe they will see the criticisms.

I know that debates are hard to have online cos you can't hear the other person's tone, so I just want to add that the above is all said in a genuine question way rather than a feisty arguingy way

weezl74

and I just want to add that I'm sorry if people are fed up of me saying feelings like the above, but I am working so hard on the project that I do need to find ways to feel less alone/downcast when I inevitably do, as you can't work this many hours/months on something that isn't your job without some slumpy moments- well I can't anyhow!

grandma247

Weezle perhaps more than one planner for shirl is the answer so she does not get bored. That is the problem when you are on a tight budget for a long time. The ingredients could be more or less the same just doing different things with them and maybe a nutrition breakdown so she knows it is still healthy?

Also would it be difficult to put a note on the nutrition page to show why the fat is necessary? Some people need it spelling out to them.

I have no idea how hard this would be to set up nothing is ever simple is it?

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

70% of our visitors come from referring websites, of which the vast majority is here (MSE)

So I might be wrong, and thank you for debating it with me but I would say in response to your point above, yes, I do believe they will see the criticisms.

I know that debates are hard to have online cos you can't hear the other person's tone, so I just want to add that the above is all said in a genuine question way rather than a feisty arguingy way

Okay I've had a search on MSE for "cheap family recipes" to see what people are saying.

First up is a mention of spahetti carbonara. One person commented on the garlic powder but after some discussion is planning to try it. Her criticism seemd to just be personal preference anyway. Another said thanks - I've saved it to try. A third criticised the apparently excessive amount of bread which you then explained. (Perhaps that should be made clear on the actual recipe though.) There was also some debate about whether it is technically carbonara but that is a technicality irrelevent to nutrition/health.

Next was a thread looking for 50p/2 people meal suggestions. The only response so far is:

eyeopener2 wrote: »

Gosh, thats quite an...er...eyeopener. I'm going to study this with OH and see if we can take onboard the ideas.

Which seems reasonably positive.

Next was a link on a debt discussion and nobody had commented on it.

Then there's a "How to be old style" thread where there doesn't seem to be much comment about it.

Also a "Budget Recipes" thread with no particular comment.

The next thread is asking for help with shopping spending. The first response to the link to the site is:

muddlemess wrote: »

Thanks for your quick reply - Makes great reading and what a lot of good ideas, not sure I could be quite so diciplined! Has anyone stuck to it? :T

There were no other comments about it (other than two people from here replying to muddlemess' question).

The next one didn't have any responses since the link was posted.

The next thread was about saving money on household bills. Nobody commented particularly as they were too busy debating the paleo diet.

Next was the June grocery challenge where someone requested a link because she wanted to make a nut butter from it. There were no comments but it recived comparable thanks to the posts before and after it so presumably nobody found it particularly objectionable.

Next there was the one with no money for food. There were no comments on the link but seven thanks.

It was also posted on the May Grocery challenge thread with no comments in the first couple of pages following the link. The thanks on the post were similar to adjacent posts.

The next page of search results didn't turn up any negative comments that I could find.

Maybe I am missing something or haven't gone about the right way of looking but although I did find some criticisms, overall the responses were either neutral or positive and since with anything I would expect some criticism, I don't think it was bad.

I wonder if either you are so sensitive to the criticisms that they become a larger proportion in your head or perhaps people are PMing you their criticisms which therefore makes them seem more? I hope that doesn't sound like I'm trying to say "It's all in your head" because I'm not - it's just that maybe you take criticisms to heart more.

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

and I just want to add that I'm sorry if people are fed up of me saying feelings like the above, but I am working so hard on the project that I do need to find ways to feel less alone/downcast when I inevitably do, as you can't work this many hours/months on something that isn't your job without some slumpy moments- well I can't anyhow!

I'm not fed up and I do hope that my attempts to encourage/reassure you don't sound like I am invalidating your feelings.

weezl74

thanks susan

I agree with you.

I was upset that someone who'd never tried our carbonara referred to it as a 'disgusting rendition' of a meal.

I was hurt when someone said they'd rather eat their own kneecaps than live like that (me)

I was hurt when someone said they'd read my threads and didn't feel they were healthy at all.

I feel sad about numerous other things that have been written, but this isn't a plea for sympathy. It's just how it is.

I'm sure you're right that I take it in more than I should. I know that's true about me.

If I am going to have a team here which does offer me in part what I need to keep going then I feel it will also have to be a place where I can get some reassurance when I read some of those things.

I don't do it everytime, I have a tolerance for about 10 comments before I get a bit overwhelmed

Julimk

I am sorry that you have had some criticism. :(I appreciate that this is your project & maybe you would be a bit too sensitive to it? I don’t think that in real life most people put as much thought into the nutritional value of their meal plan, as you have here. I certainly don’t! And as I have a BMI of 21 & a pubescent DD, we don’t go for the low calorie options.

If you are really concerned about it maybe you could put a disclaimer on the nutrition page saying something along the lines of,

Of course we can only guarantee that we have ensured that our plans meet current nutritional guidelines, as they stand and as a whole, for a family of two adults and two teenagers. Some people may wish to use only some of the recipes or mix & match; we are happy for them to do so and have developed (are developing) some additional recipes along the same lines as those in the plans. However, those creating their own meals plans would need to make their own judgement that it meets their family’s requirements.

Someone (sorry can’t remember who) suggested replacing the picture of pills on the FAQ page with the eatwell plate, which might be useful as a ‘teaching to fish’ tool?

domesticgoddess789

Whatever you do you are never going to please everybody and I think it is really important to remember that. I know it is bound to hurt because you are putting your life and soul into this project but try to think about all of the positive comments, the website hits and all the Shirleys you are helping because surely they hugely outweigh the negatives.

weezl74

I hear those points too!

Oh dear it seems we have a discrepancy. Some people feel it's ok for this thread to be emotionally supportive for me so I can give more to the project. Others feel that's not quite right for this thread, which is fine too.

Errrm, 2 threads?

weezl74

Perhaps I should add, I could cut down my work on the project to a level where I wouln't feel hurt and humiliated, but then we'd achieve less, less quickly for shirl and kitty...

Or I can invest a huge amount of myself in it but need friends alongside me to soak up some of the hurt with me when responding to big blow statements like the one I quoted earlier.

Or I can do what I said earlier and seperate it out, those who'd like to talk about the project in a more task-orientated way, and those who are up for talking about the project in a feelings way (or who are happy with me doing that!)

Does that make any sense?