Weezl and friends Phase 2 -giving it a whirl for Shirl! Testing meal plan for a month

weezl74

SusanC wrote: »

Would it help if people gave you more concrete commitmemnts on things they are already doing?

What I mean is like for example I'm tidying up the shopping list. If I said to you something like, "I will do it by x date" or, "I can't do it before y but should be able to do it the week after" would that be helpful?

It wouldn't mean anyone making any more commitment than they already have but might help by giving you a more concrete sense of how things are panning out.

Does that make sense?

And :grouphug:

It's very kind.

I'm not sure.:o

It seems odd of me to want to try to formalise an internet friendhip/project group. It may lose it a lot of it's charms. I like the fact that I can look away from the screen at any moment the boys need me, and no-one is left hanging waiting. The phone or real life are not like that. I think I give more to my internet friendships BECAUSE of the very 'dip in and out ness'.

What I'm trying to say is, I think we'd lose something good.

Perhaps I just needed to express my fears and then get on with it!

SusanC_2

Another thought on the criticism front is that for some people it is a defence mechanism. So in order to justify to themselves not using the planner (or the fact that they spend more on food than the planner does), they need to criticise it. Some people will see the very existence of the planner as a criticism/attack on them and their lifestyle and so they defend themselves by lashing out.

Allegra

weezl74 wrote: »

I hope it didn't sound too heavy!

I feel it's a big project and 'normally' (IRL) people would do something like this having some more solid sense of who was in it with them. If they worked together you'd know you'd see people tomorrow, or next week, or if we all volunteered for a charity we'd all meet up on a tuesday night or something...

You are quite right. The fact is, though, that in a real life situation, people do end rubbing each other up the wrong way sometimes. Someone can have a bad day, the other person is annoyed with a third because they do not respect their personal space, the fourth one will get grumpy because they thing the project manager is marginalising them and the fifth one will have a tantrum because they think the first is talking rollocks. Human nature, innit. Online, you can take your eyes off the screen as needed and these issues need not ever arise.

Incidentally, it's the people that do not know when to take their eyes away from the screen - and fingers off the keyboard - that end up troling you. So aren't you lucky you don't need to meet up with them every Tuesday night ?

With internet collaboration, it's lovely in that people can pop in and out as real life allows. This same lovely fluidity can also leave me feeling less 'togethered with' than is comfortable sometimes.

Do you worry because people sometimes vanish without a trace ? I know you had that happen at the beginning of the project - people got stuck in, then moved away without explanation, and you were left worrying you may have done something wrong. I might be barking up the wrong tree, but it does seem to me that perhaps because of that you feel you can not really rely on anyone fully, regardless of how much they say they will help out ?

There is more strength in a we than an I.

True, but there is also more freedom - and artistic integrity, as it were - in I. Swings and roundabouts, innit.

weezl74

Awww pooh bear you are a smashing lady, I hope you know that!


Good points arty and susan. It looks a bit like a criticism perhaps to people. So they feel attacked psychologically, although we are not attacking. So then they counter with 'well it's unhealthy!' so we then feel attacked, and so it continues.

So I guess we/I must just make it clear it is not a criticism.

Hmmmn, can a website do that?

weezl74

thanks all

Just to cheer us all up, I've just published the new pages I've been talking about for a while, I think it has several nice new features for shirl.

Go to recipes page and first, hover over a few recipe names.

then try ranking the recipes according to the new column headings, ie by touching the top of calories, for example

Anyhow, It's been a tough job, more for my dad than me this time, but a bit from me...

Hippeechiq

Constructive criticism is fine as it encourages improvement, however, constructive criticism is seldom given, as seems to be the case here.

In my experience, non-constructive criticism is usually borne out of two things - jealousy and ignorance. You said yourself the e-mailer's criticism was inaccurate, so in this instance it would appear to be the latter. This is just one voice....out of, how many thousand hits the site has had?

If I had a pound for every time I'd been called a perfectionist, I'd be a rich woman
I know I am. I have to do everything to the best of my ability, which of course, is never good enough....for me that is. And I suspect if the whole world and his dog acknowledged the enormity and value of the project you (and your helpers) have undertaken, and the immense achievement it is - and it is, you still wouldn't be entirely happy or convinced

Trying to accept that this is how you are, is the key, and will make you less hard on yourself. Some days you will succeed, and some days you wont, but you need to try

weezl74

Allegra wrote: »

Incidentally, it's the people that do not know when to take their eyes away from the screen - and fingers off the keyboard - that end up troling you. So aren't you lucky you don't need to meet up with them every Tuesday night ?

Why would they bother coming?

Allegra wrote: »

Do you worry because people sometimes vanish without a trace ? I know you had that happen at the beginning of the project - people got stuck in, then moved away without explanation, and you were left worrying you may have done something wrong. I might be barking up the wrong tree, but it does seem to me that perhaps because of that you feel you can not really rely on anyone fully, regardless of how much they say they will help out ?

Yes. Also feel that I shouldn't count on anyone because that wouldn't be how it's meant to be online, and that to lean too much on others would kill the project.

Allegra

:T for Weezl and Daddy Weezl. Looks pretty amazing :j

weezl74

Hippeechiq wrote: »

And I suspect if the whole world and his dog acknowledged the enormity and value of the project you (and your helpers) have undertaken, and the immense achievement it is - and it is, you still wouldn't be entirely happy or convinced

true.

I'd have found another project by then;)

SmlSave

Just a quick delurk to say I luv you lots weezle and you receipes are fab and lovely and i luv everyone who has made the amzing websire which has stolen me from my husband....

P.S. Let me know who has been mean to you and I'll sort 'em out