Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

groatie_queen

I firewalked my way into the New Year one Hogmanay here in Scotland a few years ago. I can recommend it - it definitely helped expand my boundaries and 'get' that we can all do extraordinary things, and overcome internal hurdles. Whilst it was great fun, it was also done with a reverence for crossing thresholds and setting the path for the year(s) to come.

Since then I have faced huge challenges with my health, and have drawn upon the 'firewalking energy' to keep me motivated.

I too love The Alchemist. If anyone wants a recommendation for a tried and tested collection of many self help mental techniques, Jack Black's two books, Mindstore, and Mindstore for Personal Development, are good and I keep going back to them many years after I first bought them and did his courses. He also has a website, www.mindstore.com and has cd's etc available. (By the way, this is Jack Black the motivational speaker, a fellow Scot, not Jack Black the American comedian!!)

GQ x

Lara44

Firewalker wrote: »

1) To some people positive thinking comes naturally, others have to work hard at it;
2) I would much rather be around people who think positive than around people who moan all the time;
3) Being positive does not mean that one has to be chirpy like a canary all the time;
4) Being positive is not a state – it is a process (check the Laws of the Universe above)
5) It seems that thinking positive and feeling positive really brings positive things into one’s life (as inside so outside).

This is very interesting to me, especially the point about the canary! (I am not canary-like most of the time ) Perhaps the people you know are more like this Elantan? Instead of processes could we say lived practices that also enact 'values'? Could that explain why people are naturally disposed to be positive, because this is already a dimension to their lived practices rather than something innate? Just a thought.

I think the idea that what we do, what we believe and 'who we are' are linked is very powerful. It seems to be a circular process, what we think affects what we do, which affects what we think - which solidifies. I haven't read the Secret yet though - I am resisting not sure why but thinking about what you're all saying a lot.

Firewalker

LaraHoust wrote: »

Instead of processes could we say lived practices that also enact 'values'? Could that explain why people are naturally disposed to be positive, because this is already a dimension to their lived practices rather than something innate? Just a thought.

I think the idea that what we do, what we believe and 'who we are' are linked is very powerful. It seems to be a circular process, what we think affects what we do, which affects what we think - which solidifies. I haven't read the Secret yet though - I am resisting not sure why but thinking about what you're all saying a lot.

Hi Lara, and very good points as usual. Regarding the 'lived practices enacting values' - yep, probably a way to start unpicking why it is easier for some people to be positive. This actually links very well with some of the literature on 'happiness' - but not what the economists do but the psychologists. They claim that one's level of hapiness is dependent on three types of comparison: between what we have and what we would like to have; what we have now and the best of what we have had in the past; and what we have and what other people have. The smaller the difference the happier we are. But when I was saying that it is not an even but a process I meant that positivity is not state but is dynamic. Our level of positivity is always somewhere on a continuum between total negativity and chirpy positivity and it always moves. Hope this makes sense.

About resisting reading the Secret...May I ask where do you stand methodologically as a sociologist? Could it be that reading The Secret seems too much like a step away from science? If so, please do find a post on this thread by Scrooge2008 - she sent me a long quote by Eistein about the intersection of spirituality and science. I am a sociologist as well BTW and a great sceptic at that.

Firewalker

Lara44

I think I am resisting The Secret on more personal grounds. My Mum is an evangelist for the Master Key which now I look it up seems to be related. She is a wonderful person but her concern for our happiness can manifest as something more forceful. Is it that I don't want her to be right? I hope not as that would make me feel a bit ashamed of myself. Perhaps my reading of the Secret will be part of addressing some of these issues closer to home.

Methodologically I am in science and technology studies (STS) / feminism(s) so I am really interested in ways of producing knowledge and therefore quite open to things that are more vague and diffuse.

Firewalker

It is the end of the month and thus time for another financial update. It is customary for people to start the update for the month when they had a holiday with some sort of alibi for overspending. I will have to start this one with a great, big gold star – we did not overspend – we were bang on budget. Three weeks away cost us £900 altogether £470 of which was the airfare for the three of us. Having an apartment in Sofia did help but apart from that we were rather careful although not to the level of deprivation. We did some travelling and had great time – but most of the great time was for free or inexpensive. Here I should add that this money did not come from our monthly budget or from savings – this was earned separately sometime ago.

Apart from that, during August, we have spent £84 on food, £56 on regular stuff (including Little Boy’s tennis), £44 on petrol and £180 on exceptional items. The last one is very high – but we seem to be having technological meltdown. It turned out that it is not only that the charger for my laptop has been fried but also the battery – so these expenses include a new charger and a new battery. There are several other expenditure lines that I am not going to go into but the final score is that in August our account was £808 in the black. In fact we had interest! Forgot to mention that in August we also paid for the outside decoration of the house. Not bad!

The broader picture is that between February and September we have reduced our negative wealth by £21,000 (roughly 21%) and we also have £6,606 in our savings account. This will go down a bit because some of it will be used to do the bathrooms – work is starting at the end of September.

We are also opening our Millionaire Account – remember the £1.85 per day riddle. Well after the £6.5 to £65.73 adventure we have decided that we will open an account and put £116.58 in it (the £65.73 and £50.85 which the £1.85 for the month minus £6.5). My calculations show that it can work and we have decided to give it a go – and have good time meanwhile.

The thought for today is:

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Firewalker

Firewalker

elantan wrote: »

but i do worry about people ( and i have met them) that seem to be oh i dont really know the right word for it to be honest ( not very good with my words... please bear with me) i have found people that have been so positive that they struggle with life ... things happen to them really bad things and in trying to be so positive they seem to block things out ... and i have noticed that it comes back to bite them on the bum and can lead to serious mental health issues ....and that worries me ... especially with the new "trend" of spirituality light workers positive psychology movements on the go at the moment

Hi El, I have been thinking about your post. I believe that it is very accurate as an observation – I suppose I called this ‘being chirpy as a canary’ all the time. But the ‘canary’ point is a bit of an easy way out so I could not stop thinking about it.

Your post raises interesting issues. One of these is about the relationships between us, our mind, thinking and feelings and the world outside us. The situation can be rather different depending on whether one is positive before the event or as a reaction to events. The former is the positivity argued by the Secret and the Meta Secret – one should enter situations in positive frame of mind and expect positive things to happen (and have positive beliefs about one self). Because the Universe is mental (our minds come first) this internal positivity manifests as a positive (largely) outside world. But bad things still happen – and one cannot be expected to react positively about these (well, the mismatch between outside world and our reactions is known as delusions). What matters is whether after some acceptable period of grieving or upset one can move towards positivity again? This is why, I actually prefer the Meta Secret to the Secret – because according to the Meta Secret there is the law of opposites. Positivity goes always together with negativity – we can learn to control our position on this continuum and slide toward positivity.

This relationship between our mind and the outside world being two way means that we cannot be positive all the time but generally positive people can revert to positivity; generally negative people can get stuck with negativity and even learn to treasure their misery. Apart from that, I don’t believe that we can be positive about everything – at any point in time there will be things that we are positive about and others we are not so positive about. Here, it seems, there are three important matters: 1) we should be positive about ourselves and our ability to cope with different situations at all times (also known as confidence); 2) we should focus more on the things that we feel positive about than on the things that give us grief; 3) we should learn to control the way we feel about things so that we could turn around the negative feelings.

Generally, I believe that being positive is not about being chirpy but about the calmness that comes with confidence, loving and liking oneself, ability to chose and see opportunities, and realism.

Firewalker

Firewalker

The weather was lovely here today – sunny and warm, but not hot. I woke up rather late, as is fit for a Bank Holiday Monday, and went for a delicious run up The Hill. An hour and 6.3 miles later, I arrived home to find that sons and OH have been washing the car. And the car needed it after the heavy duty use of the last two days...

It was used for a number of trips to the rubbish tip because we (well, OK, OH, Young Man and Little Boy) have sorted out the garage. It took good two days which was to be expected given that we have hardly been able to get in for the last five years. Now it is lovely – all organised and clean. Also now we can play table tennis in our garage – which is great. I find table tennis relaxing and a good gentle exercise. We have pool table in the garage as well – so the boys will be able to play.

But the best thing about all this is that in Sofia I made OH to promise me two things: one that he will sort out the garage when we return so we can play table tennis; and two that he will see my trainer, arrange sessions with him and start going to the gym regularly. During this weekend he fulfilled his first promise and I hope that this week he will do the same about the second one. I do worry about him – he works from home so his days are pretty much spend sitting in front of a screen with a rare interruption for coffee, toast or something else from the kitchen. Because he is naturally slim (which I do find a smackable offence) he can’t see the point in exercise. Except that exercise is the only thing known to offset the problems of old age – we age because we lose muscle mass and because our oxygenation system gets weaker. Anyway, I would like to have a functioning husband in twenty years time – I am doing my bit to stop, or this failing to slow, the aging process.

This might need a wish to the Universe.

“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately it is the government.” – Woody Allen

Firewalker

elantan

yes i totally agree with you there firewalker ... as i quite often say it is not what happens to us it is how we deal with what happens to us that can make the difference ... i know many people that have childhoods that quite frankly were horrific (mine own was not good) and i have noticed that we all deal with things differently ... after all we are individuals ... some seem to allow their childhoods to dictate their adulthoods (all of us do to a certain extent) but they remain in this cycle of self destruction and unable to break out ... others like to be a survivor ... maybe i am different i look at my childhood as something that happened it doesnt define me it just was ... i dont see myself as a survivor cause to do so would indicate that i was a victim and in being a victim i am allowing the abusers of my past to still have some hold/control/definition over me... and that is not to say that i chose to be all happy signing dancing about life ... but i stared it in the face and saw it for what it was and let it go and moved on

but i have friends who have had a hard time themselves ... and i can see them hurting their behaviours speach actions etc indicate they are hurting but they have this facade on show the whole oh i am fine everything is great ... need to be positive etc and i want to say to them ...look sometimes !!!!!! happens and sometimes we have to deal with !!!!!! ... call it what it is ... and see how you can deal with it ... saying everything is fine is only delaying the hurt for another day ... and one day all that hurt is gonna come and get ya ... but i stop myself cause who am i to suggest to someone that they voluntarily put themselves through pain

maybe thats why i am very much into taoism and balance ...

anyway i am blethering on ... will go back to lurking and start with meta secret

elantan

ahhh just reading a bit about the meta secret it seems to be n.l.p orientated i love n.l.p practise it alot (being an n.l.p master practitioner possibly helps lol) but can only find the book in french ... sigh ... need to go and learn a language now

Firewalker

elantan wrote: »

ahhh just reading a bit about the meta secret it seems to be n.l.p orientated i love n.l.p practise it alot (being an n.l.p master practitioner possibly helps lol) but can only find the book in french ... sigh ... need to go and learn a language now

El, I did a recap of the laws (Meta Secret) which probably can give you a flavour. Also on Amazon a message announces that the Meta Secret will be in stock later in the Autumn. I myself purchased it at great expense in Sofia (the equivalent of £11) after checking and thinking that I'll get it from Amazon for £3. But it is more credible than the Secret - at least is has balance and one of the messages is that one should meet the Universe half way.

I only have diploma in NLP - still helped me recognise that other people exist.

Firewalker