Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

gallygirl

Pippajo wrote: »

Firewalker - I have just finished page 1 and am enthralled. Your writing and thoughts are incredible, you have an amazing way with words that I can hear your voice talking to me even though I have never met you.

I will now continue reading.........

Am so ahead of you Pippajo - I am page 3 (1st & last time I'm afraid :rotfl:). Am really enjoying your story Firewalker and will pace myself

Firewalker

What a day today is shaping to be! The good news first – after shelling out about £80 for a new charger and a new battery my little beauty, my second best friend, my laptop is back. So I am sitting on the train feeling safe in the knowledge that I have about 5 hours of battery left and fighting boredom by writing.

Now the not so good news. Days ago I bought a train ticket from station A to station C assuming that the train goes via station B. I did find it a bit puzzling that the ticket was more expensive from station B but who can work the ways of the rail companies. As we all know making assumptions can be dangerous – when tested assumptions might turn out to be wrong. So today I arrive nice and early at station B, start looking for my train and there is no such train. Imaging the humiliation of asking in the ticket office whether there is such train – and of course there is but it goes from A to C without passing B.

So had to buy another ticket (another £63), wait for 30min and change trains with very short connection time. Now I am on the second train but for a short time I felt like I am in a Johnny Cash song.

‘My pocket book is empty,
My heart is full of pain,
I am a thousand miles away from home,
Waiting for a train.’

And I might have lost £47 – the cost of the ticket from A to C. Could this pass for giving? Probably not but there is a silver lining. Two months ago I would have though ‘how can I be such an idiot’; today I though ‘this was such an idiotic thing to do’.

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” ~Aristotle

Firewalker

ninky_2

Firewalker wrote: »

How about this yacht, then? Frankly I don’t particularly like yachts and I am not a very good at sea (Ninky, if you are still reading, I might get one just so I could invite you on it). I am very happy where I live although the house can do with decorating. But as I say – my kitchen is fine; after all I can cook in it.

hi firewalker - just catching back up on your thread and delighted to discover several thought-provoking entries.

regarding crises - i'm facing a mini one at the moment. the company i have worked for comfortably over the last 2 years no longer has enough work to keep me on. i'm freelance anyway but had got rather cosy here. i'm strangely excited at the same time. this will force me out of the rut i have started to get into. the biggest fear for me is money and how this could potentially derail my plan to pay off the mortgage asap.

regarding 'being rich'. i find it hard to visualise that beyond images of private islands and people hanging around in hammocks with expensive cocktails brought to them on trays. not sure why i have that specific image. i'm sure everyone must have there own.

i find it easier to think of lifestyle. my ideal lifestyle would be no work (in the conventional sense), a house with its own plot of land to grow vegetables and a garden, a modest yacht suitable for round the world sailing, being able to go off hiking, sailing, skiing a few times a year. OH not having to work either so we can enjoy it together.

however one thing that worries me and i have been thinking about a lot is that the one thing that would really add true riches to my life would be the close proximity and abundunce of nature (by which i mean more wilderness than agricultural countryside). however, i fear that no matter how rich i become i could never return the world to a natural state in my lifetime that would make me feel truly happy with it.

Firewalker

Hi Ninky,

welcome back - I did miss you and your posts. Sorry to hear about job but...I'll say what I have been trying lately to teach Little Boy. Fear makes you lose, money related fear makes you lose you joy in life but even worse - it paralyses, clouds your reasoning and makes you undersell yourself. Do you have a cushion? Can you last for sometime without working? Can you give yourself time to decide what to do next and look around?

Thinking of you and hoping that you find a way that allows you to achieve your financial goals and be happy.

Firewalker

ninky_2

firewalker - thanks for your concern. yes i have a massive cushion as being self employed all my working life has taught me to hope for the best and plan for the worst. unfortunately of course if i have to use it that will set back my plans for paying off the mortgage asap. we are also looking at buying a plot of land/house by the sea overseas which involves some remortgaging which would eat into the cushion.

i think i will be alright as i have contacts and after 1 day of job hunting have already been told from one at a large company that there is plenty in the pipeline and they expect to call in the next few days with a firm offer. so fingers crossed.

Firewalker

ninky wrote: »

firewalker - thanks for your concern. yes i have a massive cushion as being self employed all my working life has taught me to hope for the best and plan for the worst. unfortunately of course if i have to use it that will set back my plans for paying off the mortgage asap. we are also looking at buying a plot of land/house by the sea overseas which involves some remortgaging which would eat into the cushion.

i think i will be alright as i have contacts and after 1 day of job hunting have already been told from one at a large company that there is plenty in the pipeline and they expect to call in the next few days with a firm offer. so fingers crossed.

Ninky,

have you visited Memorygirl's thread recently? You might find some interesting stuff there.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Today is the end of a really busy week for me; I hardly slept for two night out of five, travelled twice; went to the wrong station; worried that I might have to live in an American Airport the week after next till OH found me a hotel. It is natural I think to feel too tired for any intellectual activity. Having decided to try and do some, however, I realised that it takes me a long time to find stuff and because I don’t want to spend this time I use it as an alibi to either delay or not do things. This is why I had a wonderful day organising and cleaning my office – I have never had a filing system apart from piling stuff on shelves or on the floor. Now all is lined, labelled, recorded...

Of course I feel better for it but this is not the point I want to make. The point is that the only way to go through the cleaning was by listening to music and the music I listened to was gypsy music from different parts of Southern Europe. Which made me think...

Have you ever listened to gypsy music? Gypsy Kings? Paco de Lucia? Or flamenco or fado? If you have than you will know that with gypsy music whether you like it or not is actually completely immaterial. Because like it or not when you hear it your heart starts dancing and your mood lifts. And today for the first time ever I realised why this happens. Remember the Laws of the Universe? Positivity is high vibrations and fast rhythm and both are transferable – if you are surrounded by high vibrations your vibrations get higher. Gypsy music is, most of the time, high vibrations and high rhythm. So, anyone who needs a quick ‘pick me up’ – listen to some gypsy music.

Listening to this music also made me think about my past. From what can be glimpsed from it I might appear to be someone well brought up, determined, stern...Yes, I did all the things that make one ‘well brought up’ – I played the violin, did drama, studied hard. But I also had a period of my life (when I was about 6 probably) that I spend with the gypsies. I’ll just wait for my mum to go to work and sneak out to the gypsy part of town – played with the children and their mothers looked after me. It was great fun.

I also remembered a lesson from a gypsy man. Twenty five years ago I travelled across Bulgaria to hear a gypsy guy known as Ibryama. Boy, could he blow the clarinet? He blew off the roof of the concert hall but even better – the gypsy music he played had jazz improvisations. He could weave a tune like Brussels lace. After the first three pieces he took the mike and said: “Thank you all for coming tonight to hear me play here. One day soon I want to play at La Scala.” How is that as a wish to the Universe?

And the saying for today is:

“We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.” – Anaise Nin (French writer)

Firewalker

Firewalker

It is time for a weekly update/stock take on matters financial – the weekly accounts, next week’s menu and shopping for next week done. Last week our expenditure is higher than what we have been doing lately – mainly because of buying this gadget for me (which still has not been used and I cannot decide whether to try to return; suspect ‘I felt compelled to buy this but now having considered the situation I don’t really want it’ might not be considered to be a sufficient reason for return). Otherwise we have spent £38 on food (add £20 or so for the meat and chicken from Costco) and £30 on other regular items (including a book costing £15 and the cost of ironing). In other words, if one excludes the gadget, not bad at all. For the three weeks left we have to be very careful if we are to be able to reconcile our expenditure and our income this month (our expenditure for the month includes a fridge/freezer, remember).

Apart from working out the numbers, we have been busy cooking and doing THE TASKS (see Memorygirl’s Transatlantic Challenge). I made loads of leek and potato soup (my recipe that includes a bit of sweet potato as well) so there are a number of lunch portions and meals for four frozen; made wholemeal pitta bread (thanks MG) and OH made strawberry sorbet.

Now to the homework full speed.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Today I did my long run – five minutes short of two hours and had a long time to think about things. So today I was thinking about the most common mistakes we all make – mistakes that either stop us achieving what we truly, really want or these slow us down considerably. Tonight I would like to share only two of the points I came up with – comments and reaction (or examples) are very welcome.

We neglect the gift

Almost everyone around me, including me, is guilty of this one at some point. Have you ever thought about something you have achieved ‘yes, but this was easy’ and never tried again? Think again! Usually things that come easy to us are where our talents are. But we disregard these – because this is easy – and work very hard on the things we find hard. Imagine how much more we will achieve if we work really hard on the things we find easy. It is even worse – your closest family and friends never point this out.

I have always found writing, analysis and simplification quite easy. But until very recently it never occurred to me to work on these – the skills were there but I am yet to achieve mastery. Last month I met an old friend (we have been friends for close to thirty years now) and asked her why didn’t she tell me that I should write? ‘But it was so obvious’ – she said – ‘it has always been such a part of you that I never thought it is important to mention’.
We all have gifts and we all can find at least one area where we can achieve mastery. Most of us never do – because we would rather have a challenge and work on hard things. But the challenge is to stick to and perfect the things that come easy.

We look after our property and neglect our assets

I find that this is a very interesting one because it applies to both individuals and businesses. We all look to a certain degree after our cars and houses (property and liabilities), we look after our clothes, shoes, decorate our houses, change our kitchens. But we can neglect our health, neglect our education (here I mean ongoing learning process not formal education), become less and less fit etc.

Until recently I was so good at this – I smoked, sat in coffee bars and prided myself for being like Churchill (...not refusing a good cigar, drinking a bottle of whisky a day, sleeping about four hours a night and the main thing – no sport). Ten years ago we bought shares worth about £2,000, a year later they were worth £6,200...and we forgot about this. Today these shares are worth about £3. And so on the story goes...

Organisations do this routinely – most large organisations are not intelligent enough to realise that they do have to look after the finances and the balance sheets and after their workforce. So they prioritise the balance sheets (sort of property) and forget about their workforce – their most powerful asset. Silly, really...

I do have some more but it is getting late – and as a new Flylady convert I am determined to go to bed at 10.30 rather than 1.00 a.m.

And the saying for today is:

“Curiosity might have killed the cat but it helped the tiger survive.” – Paolo Coelho

Firewalker

Firewalker

What can I say! It seems that I am truly becoming a force of nature. Today I managed to achieve so much that I surprised even myself. What is the secret, you might wonder? It seems that with me only writing my perfect week was enough to make me do what I really want to do. And it is not very different from what I do anyway it is just that it is better organised, my day had a clear structure and my horizon was not obscured by the tasks of today – these were linked to the rest of my week (and possibly beyond). And the other part to it is that I have been using Memorygirl’s mind mapping techniques (and my new colourful pencils) to work out and structure things. In some bizarre way, although I can’t draw for toffee, the mind mapping makes unpleasant tasks not so daunting. Mmmmm...?

But let me continue with the mistakes we all make. Today I will set out two more stoppers of contentment and achievement (in a very broad sense).

We learn from our mistakes and forget about our achievements

We are all repeatedly told to learn from our mistakes – and this is not wrong. On the contrary not learning from one’s mistakes is silly at best and irresponsible at worst. At the same time, my impression is that looking back to our achievements is not presented as learning but as something that might help us feel better about ourselves. Actually, when you think about it in many European civilisations modesty, not dwelling on our achievements and, God help us, not mention them, is a high ranking virtue.

The thing is though, that learning from ones mistakes can teach one what not to do. But to know what to do one should look to one’s achievements.

We forget that all we have to do is ask...repeatedly

Most of us, particularly women, make this mistake all the time. We do not ask for things – help, assistance, promotion, knowledge, opinion etc. Even the ones among us who do will think twice before they ask again.

But it seems that a great part of success (achievement) in anything is to persist – and ask repeatedly. It is unpleasant to be refused but this is not important. I believe the important thing is what one learns from a refusal.

My Achilles heel is asking. I still seem to live by the rule ‘if you don’t ask you won’t be disappointed’ and hide behind rationalisations and bravado.

And the thought for today is:

“My luck was accentuated by my living in a market system that sometimes produces distorted results, though overall it serves our country well... I’ve worked in an economy that rewards someone who saves the lives of others on a battlefield with a medal, rewards a great teacher with thank-you notes from parents, but rewards those who can detect the mispricing of securities with sums reaching into the billions. In short, fate’s distribution of long straws is wildly capricious.” – Warren Buffett

Firewalker