Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

Thanks, NL; will have a look. Experimenting with Eastern philosophy and practice a bit.

Well, who would have guessed it? Today I was up bright and early again at 6.06 am. By now I have done a large chunk of the chapter I promised myself to finish today. OK, I didn't write all 6,000 or so words because I had written loads before. But I did edit them and preparation is the key.

Had breakfast and getting DS3 ready to go out for the day with his friend and his family. This will be nice for him. He is very happy now; when we left Sofia both he and his auntie were crying. Last night they spoke on Skype, had great time and agreed that they will speak every evening. I knew there is a reason I love technology.

Firewalker

Karmacat

Yep, Jon Kabat Zinn is the way to go - I haven't looked at him on youtube yet, must do that, I love the way he writes. I read Full Catastrophe Living, which I loved.

Firewalker

Good morning. It is Saturday at home! Sunny day up here. I slept late (8.30 is late recently) and after a great breakfast of cereal and home made yoghurt ready to face the day.

Menus for the month are done - was hard because I am away rather a lot and OH cooks only 'bloke's food' as I call it. But they will manage (with a little help from soups and stews I will freeze). Shopping is next on the agenda, then some cleaning may be (people should't overdo this one you know).

Feeling good though; even with the irritation of the silly stocking.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Today was great fun; as I thought it will be. OH and I did the shopping and you know what? He actually pulled my shopping trolley. Of course, he did mention that it is only temporary till my leg heals; after that he won’t be seen dead pulling the ‘old lady’ trolley thing. His words, not mine. I love my trolley and as I have said before I would rather behave like an old lady than look like one carrying heavy stuff around.

I have to say that the withdrawing cash for food thing is working really well. As someone whose blog I was reading today said there is no disciplining tool like getting £60 worth of shopping and having only £45 – once this has happened and you had to put back £15 worth of stuff you know exactly what you are doing and how much you are buying (and what you are buying).

Today, we took with us £40; and did our weekly shop for £29. This does not include the meat we buy from Costco, though (when we were there I also took only cash and capped it). The funny bit was that we went to M&S and got a chicken – they are very nice. When we were just about to pay OH exclaimed: ‘But there is an offer – we can have a free dessert with it!’ Two years ago I would have said: ‘Oh, never mind; doesn’t matter.’ Today, we just looked at each other, OH went to get the dessert (apple pie) and I calmly waited at the paying station. Now, this is change! Next stage will be for me to notice such things – without fail.

Apart from that I cooked – 2 loafs of Ciabatta for 28p; delicious tomato soup (17 portions) at 17.5p per portion and best of all – muffins. Won’t even bother costing them – they taste so nice.

What made your day great fun?

Firewalker

savingwannabe

Well done Firewalker. I walked in the hot weather despite a loooong sleep and i still managed to have fun shopping for food!

Want_to_be_free

Good morning FW and all whom contributed to this thread

WTBF reporting here- I am now page 71 ... Slow progress, not as quick as my liking, still a progress is a progress...

Once someone asked to a famous writer/thinker whose name escaped from my memory, ' did you enjoy the book you have just finished ?'
I would give $$$$$$ for not having read it said the thinker.
- Oh , was it that bad?
- No it was that good replied the thinker...

I could give ££££ to not having read it till page 71, not so MSE but it is that good FW.

ceridwen

Firewalker wrote: »

When it stung me last Monday I was writing a blog post; one where – as I have said here many times – I argued that personal finance is not about the basic rules that most books and blogs give you (like spend less than you earn) but it is about motivation, persistence, ingenuity and character. It was a hard one to write and my favourite ‘sounding board’ (OH) kept pushing me to clarify it.

...and I would tend to agree with you on that.

Obviously the basic rules need abiding by to some extent. On top of that a healthy dose of cynicism of the "If it sounds too good to be true" it might well be. One instance where a little cynicism served me well was when I took out a mortgage in the heyday of endowment mortgages. I didnt really believe the promises made about them would be fulfilled - so took out a repayment one instead. I have often been very thankful that I did that - as I watch other people in my agegroup finding that those endowment mortgages have not even paid up the mortgage - still less given them the promised lump sum of money to boot.

Re the "ingenuity" - you are very correct there.

Now one thing I have noticed (as a middle-aged person) is I was brought up by parents from a poor background and though they have basically achieved a "middle class" sort of position now (the detached house and some savings) they have a sort of "poverty consciousness" in some respects. They think - and have tried to bring me up to think that some things are "Not for the likes of us". That is - that people from a poor background shouldnt expect (or even want) that much in life and that they may not get (probably wont get) the opportunities they deserve/need from life.

I notice there is a lot of going the other way in a younger generation than mine (ie of some people believing they are better than they are at things/worth more and deserve more than they actually do).

Somewhere between these two is my own viewpoint - which is people should strive for an exactly accurate view of themselves (neither that they are "better at" than they actually are - or not realising what talents/abilities they actually have on the other hand iyswim).

Many thoughts stirred by this "dont deserve/need it even when you DO" attitude of my parents (a common one for their generation I believe) and your comment re ingenuity, etc.

I have had to be very "ingenious" to achieve what I have so far in life - so I do believe very much in that - as I am so very aware of how very little I would have if I didnt. If I hadnt believed this - then I estimate I would be living in private rented accommodation/have been on benefit for many years by now or in an unskilled NMW job. Certainly not be sitting in my own house with the mortgage now gone.

So - personally - one question for you that you might like to give some thought to:

When one has had to exercise a LOT of ingenuity/persistence/character/motivation over many years now and achieved a lot from a "standing start" - but there is still a distance to go and one is now feeling "tired" at the thought of doing some more "striving" and disheartened at the worsening economic outlook - then what?

Is it possible to "get back in gear and go up a gear" to cover that last distance?

Any thoughts?

ani_26

ceridwen wrote: »

When one has had to exercise a LOT of ingenuity/persistence/character/motivation over many years now and achieved a lot from a "standing start" - but there is still a distance to go and one is now feeling "tired" at the thought of doing some more "striving" and disheartened at the worsening economic outlook - then what?

Is it possible to "get back in gear and go up a gear" to cover that last distance?

Any thoughts?

Very good question. Does anyone have the answer?


Ah well, off to work

Lara44

Yes, I think the answer is finding a set of friends to motivate you on that journey, and to share the ups, the downs and the triumphs however great or small. Not sure if you have seen the Matrix thread Ceridwen? That might be one sort of answer

Your post really struck a chord with me, because I think my parents struggled with that attitude as well. Like you, they were extremely canny and determined and have a wonderful house, savings and some investments. They got this also by taking some small risks (moving into a bad area, that they sensed would become much better, building their own home). They got some serious flak from my Grandparents I am told!

They had to work hard to give us a more open attitude - you can be / do whatever you want, but without the delusion / sense of entitlement that this mantra can sometimes produce. Basically their message was all about working hard to get along, doing your very best on all the small things that will eventually become a big picture. I think how lucky I am to have been brought up with a great balance between the two sets of values you describe.

MrsMoo2U

When one has had to exercise a LOT of ingenuity/persistence/character/motivation over many years now and achieved a lot from a "standing start" - but there is still a distance to go and one is now feeling "tired" at the thought of doing some more "striving" and disheartened at the worsening economic outlook - then what?

Is it possible to "get back in gear and go up a gear" to cover that last distance?

Any thoughts?

This is a great question. I believe that we all hit that wall from time to time. So how do we remotivate ourselves as individuals? I know that I have hit several walls in time. For me, at the moment, I have hit the wall in regards to work. I have "climbed the ladder" without a university degree I have achieved more than some of my friends who went to Uni, now I am bored....... I want a quieter life so how do I remotivate myself. I know that I have done it in the past but cant remember how I did. I guess it is all about finding a new passion, a new spark. Changing the lightbulb maybe. But what is that spark that will set me on my way again I wonder?

Will ponder this