Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

savingwannabe

Hello Firewalker and friends. Hope it is good on holibobs - what a lovely name for them!!!

I am on hols and am wrestling with builders, sorting notes and decluttering and going on day trips!

In one year's time I would like my current phase of the building project to be completed. Everything will be furnished and I would like to have sorted out my garden - which is looking distinctly wild at present. I would like to be a third of the way through saving for a new kitchen and bathroom extension. I would like to continue to spend time with all my friends and have learned not to be such a worry wort and to be happy and healthy.

MrsMoo2U

Great post Ani and as KC says - thought provoking. I have found that, at different times in my life, I have either planned or reacted on a daily basis dependent on how life is presenting itself. I agree that the best laid plans can go awry and so no matter how much I plan and organise myself I accept that life has a way of testing me and causing me to change things constantly. To me that is surviving. I have never thought of myself as a victim, even at the lowest points in my life (and believe me there have been a few of those) I have put on my practical head and started to sort things out, put plans on hold and dealt with the here and now. Having plans are good if you accept that you might have to veer off the path sometimes. Being rigid is what can throw things completely off course and cause the victim mentality in some people I think. I have a couple of friends who know what they want and how to get it but when that hasn't happened in the order that they wanted it to they have blamed it on other people, events and situations for stopping them instead of just moving that goal back to an achievable date.
For me personal development isnt about taking courses, following blindly what people tell you is right, it is about testing the waters, adapting, reflecting and moving forward. So whilst you say that you aren't interested in personally developing yourself I say that you are doing that constantly, perhaps not in the way that other people analyse personal development but you just get on with life and adapt as you see fit.

Firewalker

Cheri, thanks for this post; and how right you are. I just had this kind of conversation with DS3. Had to expplain that success is life is not measured by winning or loosing, by getting it right or wrong, but by whether we learn, change and grow or not. This is where the counter intuitive ellements come in - mistakes and failiure are more valuable than 'getting it right' and success. We just have to learn and change - after we have done the hurting and suffering (including the 'life is so unfair) bit.

Personal development, the way I see it, is not about or not only about courses. It is about the Rocky approach to life - you gaff, life gets to hit you, you get up and keep going at it from different directions, using different hands and technique.

Fundamentally, MG is absolutely correct - changing out world starts with changing ourselves. For that matter, changing the world starts with that as well - changing ourselves and touching individual lifes.

Ani, what are the three things that you need to change your life around completely?

Firewalker

thriftyscotslass

Oooh happy holidays to FW, MrFW & DS3 :beer: - glad the travel went off with no problems.

I so get the idea of being on a trajectory - for me I am coming to the end of a trajectory that was set in motion 11th May 2009. My issue at the moment is that I don't know where I want to be a year from now - the space in front of me is vast and I don't know what direction to pick so a visualisation exercise just seems to create panic. I feel completely directionless and lost, this is such an alien feeling for me. Any thoughts welcome.

savingwannabe

Hello, I didn't used to have dreams and aspirations. Now i am a new person and it is great. Maybe think of it this way, what would you like to have on a personal or materialistic level that you dont have already that would improve your life?

MrsMoo2U

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

Oooh happy holidays to FW, MrFW & DS3 :beer: - glad the travel went off with no problems.

I so get the idea of being on a trajectory - for me I am coming to the end of a trajectory that was set in motion 11th May 2009. My issue at the moment is that I don't know where I want to be a year from now - the space in front of me is vast and I don't know what direction to pick so a visualisation exercise just seems to create panic. I feel completely directionless and lost, this is such an alien feeling for me. Any thoughts welcome.

The way that I see this is that sometimes we need quiet times to reflect. You dont necessarily have to know right now where you want to be in 12 months. Sometimes just being is where you need to be. (I guess that is what Ani is alluding to). This gives you time to regroup, calm down after a period of intense activity/stress or whatever the course is that you have been on. We have all been there - no need to panic and force the issue. If you do you might end up just being an extension of who you are now.

If you want to do some kind of visualisation why not start with a simple meditation? Perhaps one on getting to know yourself? Sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes, breath slowly and easily and let go of any tension that you feel in your body. Focus your mind on the words "I AM' Do not add any more words simply focus on the words and be quiet. Start by doing this for 2 minutes but stop if you find your mind wandering to BUT or IF. As you practice you should be able to extend the time and completely focus on I AM. Make your stopping point a full stop, breathe deeply and return to everyday.

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi firewalker lurking the diary as itry to read 116 pages lol it makes for intresting reading Happy holidays hopefully il be up to date on your return

ani_26

Firewalker wrote: »

Cheri, thanks for this post; and how right you are. I just had this kind of conversation with DS3. Had to expplain that success is life is not measured by winning or loosing, by getting it right or wrong, but by whether we learn, change and grow or not. This is where the counter intuitive ellements come in - mistakes and failiure are more valuable than 'getting it right' and success. We just have to learn and change - after we have done the hurting and suffering (including the 'life is so unfair) bit.

Personal development, the way I see it, is not about or not only about courses. It is about the Rocky approach to life - you gaff, life gets to hit you, you get up and keep going at it from different directions, using different hands and technique.

Fundamentally, MG is absolutely correct - changing out world starts with changing ourselves. For that matter, changing the world starts with that as well - changing ourselves and touching individual lifes.

Ani, what are the three things that you need to change your life around completely?

Firewalker

When i read this, the answer came immediately. I don't even have to think about it. There is just ONE thing i need to change my life round completely. This is a full time job, preferably with a salary of 15 - 20k minimum. This isn't because i lead a lavish lifestyle. This is to cover the essential cost of living. Rent, council tax, bills etc, ( notice food bills still never figure anywhere in my life ). I'm so focused on what i call the basics. I still don't have somewhere i can call home, and job security would go some way to providing this.


I could then add to the list, of course, but anything i need to change my life, would be covered with job security and a salary. This would impact immensely on my mental state and health too, i guess. The little things which have to go by the wayside at the moment, like prescriptions, and my eyesight is now so bad, but its pointless having an eye test.


So there it is, just the one thing which could open the doors to being a human being again. Any personal development will follow on from this. But as someone said to me today. There aren't any jobs. Don't i know it.

ani_26

Cherisong. Yes, you are correct.

Firewalker

What a day we've had! you know that a major job here is to get some property ready for sale? Well to do this I have to have a native passport; or this is what I thought. So today, we went out there in the city to look for a passport. I thought it will be easy - I have my birth certificate and my expired passport, don't I?

Little did I know. We went to two police stations to learn that I need a permanent address here (I am registered in our apartment with my other passport), that I need a note from a different office and two people to testify it is really me. By this time I was not sure whether it is me at all; even less convinced it is worth the bother. Particularly after I read the ownership document and it transpired that the passport I have is the one I need. What a mess!

Otherwise all is well. I am panicking about money but I should not really. It is supposed to be sort of holiday after all; and today I did save £40 - this is what the passport would have cost me here.

Tomorrow we are off to the North and the Internet there is not connected - so I will be out of touch for several days. Stay safe, my friends.

FIrewalker