Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

InaPickle

Have nice horozontal time, and I'm glad to see that are so much happier than a week ago.

Karmacat

I'm glad you had such a lovely anniversary - you're allowed a day off running on your anniversary, did you know

Firewalker

There have been some positive developments concerning increasing net worth and paying negative wealth but I’ll write about these when all absolutely certain. But OH seems to be on the roll at the moment – apart from sorting out the thing I am not going to talk about he also had a call from Vodafone.
Have I mentioned that in a time of iPhone and Androids we ended up with I, not so affectionately, call ‘the brick’? It is Nokia 900 which is supposed to be a good computer but as telephones go leaves loads to be desired. Where shall I start? Maybe by mentioning that it is so heavy that I can’t take it running? Or telling you that the satellite thing can’t find me most of the time (yes, all 11.5 stone of me), or that we have web access but there is not much point to accessing it – I can’t read the screen and when made bigger it raps around. OH is not very happy with it technically either...

So when Vodafone sent him a satisfaction survey he gave them 5 out of 10. And they phoned him to ask why. To cut a long story short they offered him to end the contract on the Nokia six months early (which makes it the end of this month) and to send us a signal booster for the house – free.

Tackle the mortgage next, I say. The way he is going at the moment, OH will probably manage to halve it; and this will be something.

Apart from that I am getting an iPad – but guess what? Because I have stopped buying the latest gadgets I am getting it from work – free to me!

Something is happening and long may it continue.

Firewalker

MrsMoo2U

Firewalker wrote: »

Good evening! Welcome back, Lara!

I agree, monkeys should not be collected. My feeling though is that if we sent people back with their monkeys they just stay around. When I was in ‘academic leadership’ it was clear that most colleagues see their task not as solving problems but making these someone else’s problem. Life was much easier when applying this leadership style but this also explains why the same problems kept coming around.

It may be an idea to convert ‘monkeys’ into ‘frogs’. This way the person bringing the monkey is not dumping it on you, but doesn’t take it back either. What they leave with is a line of frogs and the principle of frog eating. And some new opportunities and ideas! I would have a look at the book though.

FW - this is exactly what the book teaches. To help the person learn how to resolve their own issue rather than taking the monkey from them and allowing them to walk away problem free. That is when the problem keeps returning. So its all about talking through the problem and handing the responsibility back to them to resolve (whilst supporting). Well that was my take on the whole book

claudiac_2

FW - Have been a bit busy for the last week, but have been reading. It is fantastic that the family may be starting to see how things are from your point of view, and are actually taking your issues with them seriously. So well done you for putting it out there for them, and not just avoiding the problems.
Congratulations to you and MrF on your anniversary - a great achievement to survive together, for so long, in this day and age!!
I would be worried if you did not post for a week, but you are allowed to miss a day sometimes, specially when you got so much done!

Here at home there is lots happening, but none of it very inspiring, so won't bore you with the details, but I would like to say that I am following the blog, and working through some of the things you discuss, and it has been very helpful to me personally, so I hope you keep on writing - there or wherever - you have a lot of insight into the subject of money, and i love the quirky way you approach the subject - so much more real than most of the stuff out there.

claudiac_2

Cheri - Can I ask which book you are talking about? I have just about got the idea of the frogs, but where did the monkeys come from???

Butti

claudiac wrote: »

Cheri - Can I ask which book you are talking about? I have just about got the idea of the frogs, but where did the monkeys come from???

Hartlepool I think. They hung it!

B

Triciaxx

Butti wrote: »

Hartlepool I think. They hung it!

B

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

A bit obscure for anyone who doesn't know the story but for more info try

http://www.thisishartlepool.co.uk/history/thehartlepoolmonkey.asp

On a less humorous note, you are redressing an ancient balance, FW.
The power that women held in years gone by was in the home and part of that was the perceived inability of men to deal with domestic issues – even if they did rationalise it as ‘beneath’ their dignity!

As Virginia Woolf wrote “you may not know what I mean by the Angel in the House. I will describe her as shortly as I can. She was intensely sympathetic. She was immensely charming. She was utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family life. She sacrificed herself daily. If there was chicken, she took the leg; if there was a draught she sat in it--in short she was so constituted that she never had a mind or a wish of her own, but preferred to sympathize always with the minds and wishes of others. Above all--I need not say it--she was pure. “

For ‘family’ read ‘male members of the family’. Poor Virginia was trapped within the expectations of her time. How much more could she have achieved today?

I will refer you back to a saying attributed to the Chinese (as so many are ), “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime"
This is what you are doing for your men folk. Your daughters in law will bless you for it, will be able to carry forwards what you hope to achieve. Your grandchildren may not remember this but you will know – at the end – that you did the best you could.

For the Virginia Woolf I really find significant, see :
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/04/virginia-woolf-the-hours-michael-cunningham

Oops! I got carried away there. :eek:

What the generations really mean, I do not know. My oldest child is older than most of you! Until recently, I would have said that 3 of my children had understood what I have just written. Now #1DD is taking it on board - tough on her DH and DS!

Firewalker

Well, the Universe has spoken again! We went to the cinema and guess what? I had made a mistake and the movie is not on till later in the week. Where does the Universe come into this? I have been getting up at 6.30 and starting to write at 6.40 for two morning now. When I decided that I would like to go to the cinema I was thinking 'is the movie going to end in time so I could go to bed?'.

People need to rest to be creative - I have started going to bed by about 10.30 pm (rather than 12.30-1.00) and all is working well. Not sure whether I am highly productive but productive nevertheless.

Oh, and today a colleague phoned and asked me to lead on an article for a really top journal. Let us put it this way: they rarely accept articles that are over two pages long. But what an article this will have to be! Feel excited as a dog with a bone (my husband's statement, not mine).

And I am getting an iPad from work - have finally learned how to satisfy my gadget ediction from time to time but without paying any of my hard earned, after tax cash. Well done me - learning and learning well.

Firewalker

savingwannabe

Oh bless you. Well done on I-wotsit!!! Everyone has them but I dont undertand gizmos.

Well done on early nights and on the paper.

Sorry about cinema, what's the film? can you tell us about it after you have been? I haven't seen anything for about 6 weeks.