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Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you
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Dear Firewalker
Sorry about the upheavals at home. It sounds like you have dealt with it in a wonderful way - framing the situation clearly and thoroughly, communicating to everyone and allowing room for individual choice while making sure all the household needs are taken care of. It is a very nice way to tackle the problem.
As a reader of your diary, I think you have really been developing your career fantastically. So much effort has been put into the consideration of what and how gets done in your working life. It has been paying great dividends. It has also been inspiring me, in fact I was talking to OH about frogs earlier this afternoon. He told me he heard of something called 'collecting monkeys' which is where you pick up tasks you shouldn't be doing. When I came home and read your post, I thought that you have been eating frogs at work, and collecting monkeys at home! Glad to see the monkeys have been shared around at last
I just got back from Kampala yesterday. The bulk of fieldwork is done! I am so glad to be home and to spend a nice day off with OH. We were sunbathing in the park and chatting all day. This weekend we go up to Lancaster; I'm really excited to show off University to OH. We're going to make a trip to the Lakes and then next week I have a course in analysing qualitative data. Good timing - I really need help with all this 'stuff' I have collected. Then analysing and writing-up will start, I'm going to be eating frogs in earnest.
A common goodbye in Kampala is just to say 'nice time'. Nice time everyone.:A :heartpuls June 2014 / £2014 in 2014 / £735.97 / 36.5%0 -
Hooray Lara is back. Yay. :j:j
Do enjoy the weekend. And sleep (you must be v tired).Aiming for a minimal spend 20220 -
Collecting monkeys! I like that - I wonder if thats Ugandan ....
And I like nice time too .... thanks Lara.2023: the year I get to buy a car0 -
Collecting Monkeys. I once had a manager who was so laid back about everything. I was a newly promoted manager of staff and was always thinking ahead. One day he called me to his office to discuss a particular issue with a member of staff. I went through everything with him (it was major issue and I was thinking of all the things that could go wrong if we didnt help her out). He opened his drawer and handed me a book called The one minute manager meets the monkey. From that day on I have never picked up somebody elses monkey. Most people thought that he was a bit of an ineffectual manager as he was so laid back. I learned differently that day and I often think about how he might have handled a particular problem I am facing. I would highly recommend the book.Some days there aren't any trumpets, just lots of dragons. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow -- Mary Anne Radmacher0
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cherisong I have come across the same thing in the same context of being a new line manager - the idea being that every person who walks to your desk/into your office is holding a monkey by the hand (or paw may be the term for monkeys rather!) - this represents something they want you to do for them. the idea of managing is that you send them away keeping their monkey rather than you taking it on for them. Simple and so true - Lara44 I am not sure if this is what your OH was talking about but I suspect so
I didn't know there was a book though, so will look out for it
it is a simple but clear analogy and helps me a lot - in fact I read this thread at lunchtime and sure enough someone tried to bring a hulking great big gorilla for me todayso I was glad I had been reminded! :T
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thats the one lionheart and as a new manager I was forever taking the monkey. It is a truism in life too that by helping the person to know how to deal with their own monkey then you are giving them far more than you would by taking it from them. I guess this is true in your case FW with the way in which you are starting to work together as a family. No monkeys for you to look after!Some days there aren't any trumpets, just lots of dragons. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow -- Mary Anne Radmacher0
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Good evening! Welcome back, Lara!
I agree, monkeys should not be collected. My feeling though is that if we sent people back with their monkeys they just stay around. When I was in ‘academic leadership’ it was clear that most colleagues see their task not as solving problems but making these someone else’s problem. Life was much easier when applying this leadership style but this also explains why the same problems kept coming around.
It may be an idea to convert ‘monkeys’ into ‘frogs’. This way the person bringing the monkey is not dumping it on you, but doesn’t take it back either. What they leave with is a line of frogs and the principle of frog eating. And some new opportunities and ideas! I would have a look at the book though.
We are having great time visiting with friend. It is lovely and today was a sunny, bright and warm day. We all went to an animal sanctuary where children played and adults talked, laughed and had good time. Then we came back to the house and I started reading; over an hour later I woke up and had delicious dinner which I’ll try to cooked when we get back.
All in all, it was a really good decision to come over and to have a bit of a break. Little Boy is happy to be away and to be making new friends; well apart from the cats but this is destiny – all our friends and his friends have cats.
Tomorrow we will have another outing; this time to the nearby town and the beach. After that we will be heading home – tired but rested and in much improved mood.
Firewalker0 -
You sound chilled out, fw. I'm sure a break away from the usual habit, is just what the doctor ordered. xDebt free - Is it a state of mind? a state of the Universe? or a state of the bank account?
free from life wannabe
Official Petrol Dieter0 -
You sound much happier, FW, and that sounds like a *really* good holiday.
I seriously need to find out more about monkeys2023: the year I get to buy a car0 -
KC - The monkey book is by the chap who wrote the 1 minute manager books (I think it's called the 1 minute manager meets the monkey?).
It is a small paperback and I have it in my stash somewhere, should you want to borrow it (them) just send me a PM ...0
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