Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Karmacat

Follow through, follow through, follow through - Pickle is right, stains or no

And have a lovely, lovely time off this week, FW

xxx

claudiac_2

FW - I hope you feel better about things with the family, and enjoy your mini break - you are SO worth it! x

savingwannabe

Firewalker wrote: »

Good morning. It is time for a short update and then we will be packing (light is my new obsession) and will be going away for three days or so. Right...frogs go first.

Yesterday I did exactly what I said – made a list of all that needs to be done, prepare a brief statement of expenses that are shared (mortgage, utilities etc.) and called a family meeting. Young Man, OH and I shared preparing dinner – Young Man seems very, very concerned and interestingly enough it is not because he may be asked to leave but because I did tell him that if things don’t change I’ll have to leave (which happens to be really what I believe should happen if there is lack of progress). Dinner was lovely and after that we set down for a proper meeting – with one member missing (Little Boy who was out playing but he will have to read the confirmed minutes of the meeting).

You should have seen grown sons’ faces (particularly Young Man) when he saw how much does it cost to pay for shelter, utilities and food – which are the bills that have to be split in four and he should pay one forth. For the first time they also say, black on white so to speak, who contributes what financially. Then out came the list of all else that needs doing and the bidding process began. Now we have a proper list of tasks, the frequency with which these ought to be done and who does what. Next – the division of labour has to be applied and maintained. So far so good...

As for the rest, I did some research for the blog which was fun. The monthly accounts were fun as well – plotting the net worth graph and seeing it moving up makes me feel good. Negative wealth will be gone soon – if I have my way by Christmas – and then we can start building and enjoying. Board game with LB didn’t happen – he spend the whole day outside, playing with his friends.

Firewalker

Superb it has begun. You won't look back Firewalker. I do love your plans, it is all so infectious in a happy way, bet the boys will too.

Enjoy your time away and well done for everything you have achieved in the last few days especially.

sw.:T:T:T:T:T:T

InaPickle

Have a great time away, Firewalker.

For what it's worth, I bet your 3 DS's aren't mean-spirited or not contributing intentionally - I think it's just a case of them doing what they've always done and not realising that things need to change a bit as they have got older as it has always been the way things have been done in your family. I bet they were shocked once they saw the reality of the situation. Now thay they can see the bigger picture (especially the elder ones), things should change, and life will become easier for you and fairer for you all after the initial period of adjustment.

Cheery_Daff

Sounds like they were indeed shocked at the cost FW, which hopefully means they will understand more now, and if they're being required to pay their way, it'll make them think twice about staying with you forever. Stick to your guns (although I'm intrigued as to why you felt it necessary to say that *you* would move out of your own home?) xx

Marru

Well done FW and have a fantastic time on your break.

Firewalker

Just to let you know that we are here and that we are having lovely time. Will be in touch with more news in couple of days.

Look after yourselves, after all who need looking after and be good.

FW

Triciaxx

Firewalker wrote: »

Good morning. It is time for a short update and then we will be packing (light is my new obsession) and will be going away for three days or so. Right...frogs go first.

Yesterday I did exactly what I said – made a list of all that needs to be done, prepare a brief statement of expenses that are shared (mortgage, utilities etc.) and called a family meeting. Young Man, OH and I shared preparing dinner – Young Man seems very, very concerned and interestingly enough it is not because he may be asked to leave but because I did tell him that if things don’t change I’ll have to leave (which happens to be really what I believe should happen if there is lack of progress). Dinner was lovely and after that we set down for a proper meeting – with one member missing (Little Boy who was out playing but he will have to read the confirmed minutes of the meeting).

You should have seen grown sons’ faces (particularly Young Man) when he saw how much does it cost to pay for shelter, utilities and food – which are the bills that have to be split in four and he should pay one forth. For the first time they also say, black on white so to speak, who contributes what financially. Then out came the list of all else that needs doing and the bidding process began. Now we have a proper list of tasks, the frequency with which these ought to be done and who does what. Next – the division of labour has to be applied and maintained. So far so good...

As for the rest, I did some research for the blog which was fun. The monthly accounts were fun as well – plotting the net worth graph and seeing it moving up makes me feel good. Negative wealth will be gone soon – if I have my way by Christmas – and then we can start building and enjoying. Board game with LB didn’t happen – he spend the whole day outside, playing with his friends.

Firewalker

Well done!

I do believe that our purpose in bringing up children (of what ever age) is to enable them to be successful without us. That is it. Period. End of story. Any joy we get out of the family and relationships is secondary to that responsibility.

As far as LB is concerned, that is so healthy. First step in growing up into an independent adult is to realize that parents are not needed to have fun.

Oh,my! Just wait till you get the role reversal and your kids start to try to tell you what is appropriate for your life stage. :eek::eek: We've had a few of those instances in the last few months. Huh! There is a second teenage revolt being planned. :cool:

Money_Fritter

Firewalker wrote: »

Good morning. It is time for a short update and then we will be packing (light is my new obsession) and will be going away for three days or so. Right...frogs go first.

Yesterday I did exactly what I said – made a list of all that needs to be done, prepare a brief statement of expenses that are shared (mortgage, utilities etc.) and called a family meeting. Young Man, OH and I shared preparing dinner – Young Man seems very, very concerned and interestingly enough it is not because he may be asked to leave but because I did tell him that if things don’t change I’ll have to leave (which happens to be really what I believe should happen if there is lack of progress). Dinner was lovely and after that we set down for a proper meeting – with one member missing (Little Boy who was out playing but he will have to read the confirmed minutes of the meeting).

You should have seen grown sons’ faces (particularly Young Man) when he saw how much does it cost to pay for shelter, utilities and food – which are the bills that have to be split in four and he should pay one forth. For the first time they also say, black on white so to speak, who contributes what financially. Then out came the list of all else that needs doing and the bidding process began. Now we have a proper list of tasks, the frequency with which these ought to be done and who does what. Next – the division of labour has to be applied and maintained. So far so good...

As for the rest, I did some research for the blog which was fun. The monthly accounts were fun as well – plotting the net worth graph and seeing it moving up makes me feel good. Negative wealth will be gone soon – if I have my way by Christmas – and then we can start building and enjoying. Board game with LB didn’t happen – he spend the whole day outside, playing with his friends.

Firewalker

Hi Firewalker, glad to hear you are getting tough. sometimes kids don't realise just how much parents have to fork out, so to speak. I know I didn't when I lived at home with the parents.

I was just wondering, when you calculate your net worth, what sort of things do you include, do you include your car and valuable items you own.

Thanks in advance

Money Fritter

Firewalker

Money_Fritter wrote: »

Hi Firewalker, glad to hear you are getting tough. sometimes kids don't realise just how much parents have to fork out, so to speak. I know I didn't when I lived at home with the parents.

I was just wondering, when you calculate your net worth, what sort of things do you include, do you include your car and valuable items you own.

Thanks in advance

Money Fritter

Hi MF, if you go on my blog (can get to it through here) there is a Net Worth calculator with the different entries. It is under tools.

FW