Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

ani_26 wrote: »

Runs and scurries back into hiding

Just read that back and realised the irony of why i don't have relationships or friends. Got to smile............

Don't go....please. I do read your diary from time to time and admire your courage and resilience - although do not always agree with the choices you make. But you know what? This doesn't matter - because only you know 'where your shoes hurt'. This is why you should stay here and post more often - this is not the tread for academics (I am doing my darn best not to be or sound as one but obviously not very well). This is a tread for thinking, examining and finding where your shoes hurt.

Your last sentence made me laugh - but yep! If we think a relationship is not working and not worth it there is no point changing anything. If we think that a relationship is off and we value it we can change ourselves and how we approach things. We need to do this even to get out of 'toxic' relationships btw - till the abused see themselves as victims they stay to be abused; while the exploited see themselves as powerless they are exploited.

Take care
Firewalker

Firewalker

Triciaxx wrote: »

There must be a virus going round! I've been thinking similar thoughts on the issue of self confidence. In your case, you 'see' yourself as lazy - a description no one else would recognise. In my case, it is a matter of feeling that I have not achieved. That, in some way, I have failed, not done enough.

Do you know what? I'm pretty d**n good. :T

And do you know something else? So are you. :T

And as KC pointed out - we all are. This virus thing...could it be a very virulent strain of 'questioning identities and re-designing life and life choices'? I am sure there is a short name for this one with many numbers. Something like:

Mat79mayDev

Go figure.

Firewalker

Firewalker

cherisong wrote: »

So are you lazy or are you a procrastinator. If the latter then what are the reasons that you are procrastinating and can/should you be tackling that issue in order to change your view of yourself?
Just a thought from me.

How very interesting - of course I'll see the book. Thank you Cheri. To answer your question though - yes I have been thinking about this. And rationally I don't believe I am either 'lazy' or a 'procrastinator'. But I match the profile of 'overperforming under-achiever' which is about 95% of academics around.

Firewalker

Firewalker

savingwannabe wrote: »

We should all eat cake. I am trying to be MSE and save money on train tickets but the site is down!!! Am trying though. Wish i had some cake.

I have the whole day off from work. What a luxury! Hope you all have a good day.

SW, watch the cake - tempting but how about these sugars of yours? Be good!

And good luck with the tickets.

FW

ani_26

Firewalker wrote: »

Don't go....please. I do read your diary from time to time and admire your courage and resilience - although do not always agree with the choices you make. But you know what? This doesn't matter - because only you know 'where your shoes hurt'. This is why you should stay here and post more often - this is not the tread for academics (I am doing my darn best not to be or sound as one but obviously not very well). This is a tread for thinking, examining and finding where your shoes hurt.

Your last sentence made me laugh - but yep! If we think a relationship is not working and not worth it there is no point changing anything. If we think that a relationship is off and we value it we can change ourselves and how we approach things. We need to do this even to get out of 'toxic' relationships btw - till the abused see themselves as victims they stay to be abused; while the exploited see themselves as powerless they are exploited.

Take care
Firewalker

I'm procrastinating now. A morning at home catching up with work, and a mind filled with thoughts, means, am i ever likely to drag myself out to work this afternoon, to a job i must make a start with. It does'nt matter too much, other than i'll regret this, if i have to turn down another job because i don't have time to fit it in. Whats the percentage of probability? No way of knowing.

I think its fair to say, or highly likely that the abused, will almost always remain victims. Because its a cycle thats difficult to break. If one cycle is broken, then a similar cycle will take its place. So maybe some victims will always see themselves as victims. Why? Because most people don't have the strength or courage. The abuser is the weaker character, although the abused may never see it that way. Nor, if you've been abused, does that mean you have to continue the cycle, by being an abuser. This takes great strength? humanity? or common sense? Or does it come from a love within?


I'm not criticizing academics, its just a totally different mindset, ( in my view). Its just not for me, reading various books or theories, or councelling. To me, its always been a process of working it out, yourself. Some may think i'm hypocritical as i journey through my thought processes. Thats not to say, i have'nt enjoyed reading your diary, from the minute i joined mse. Its great writing, and your diary has changed along the way too, as you travel on a journey. Maybe i should have plucked up the the courage and posted. But i don't wish to put forward opposing viewpoints which may be deemed as argumentative. When you said a similar thing a while back,with an invitation? if i remember, i was so close to posting.

It was interesting when you were asking what you should wear,for some meeting, at one point. A tiny chink in the armour of outstandingness. Not meant in a nasty way, as i'm full of admiration for firewalker. I have this picture in my mind of what you might look like, but i suspect its nothing like reality.


What i find striking about these diaries and maybe the pseudonym's i've grown to know, along the way, but only as pseudonym's, is there are so many similarities, and i'm sure, if you dig deep enough, alot of people here, share common ground.

Nh xx

Firewalker

You are in the right place Ani26 (I'll never call you NoHope) - this is the discussion diary. As to how I look - this is very easy to find .

Firewalker

ani_26

Well i did say i was a technophobe. I won't publish in black and white, what dog you would be running with , or should i say which dog popped in to mind :rotfl:


Ps, i'm not calling you a dog.

thriftyscotslass

So much good stuff in one day's posts - wow :j.

The relationship between thoughts, emotions and actions - in my experience it is a power struggle between thoughts and emotions. Whichever is the stronger determines the outcome ie your actions.

Also what about relationships you cannot avoid? Like it or not, we all are in a relationship with money (unless we are self-sufficient and live by bartering). Even with people, you can not be in a relationship with them "in person" but still have a relationship with them "in your head" and unless you deal with that relationship, they can still mess with your head big style.

FW, what is the profile of an "over-performing under-achiever" because I feel that is me. Time and again, I will push myself to burn-out and okay I'm on the way to 50 but I am taking steps to address this. I think the root of this as KC says, goes back to deep childhood and never being "good enough".

Firewalker

Trifty, an 'over-performing under-achiever' is someone who goes through loads of stuff, works 12-14 hour days, over delivers in terms of results and then says: well but I didn;t manage to...An example is a friend of mine who at 58 run his first marathon in 4 hours and 2 min. Because he wanted to run it in 4 hours his second sentense to me was 'I failed.' The first was: 'I can't walk any longer.'

This my friend is an over-performing under achiever!

Firewalker

Firewalker

Now I am off to bed - n a bit later than 22.00 but still OK. Tomorrow is another day!

Sleep well all
Firewalker