Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Karmacat

"The use of knowledge to be free of oppression". How lovely! Its an ongoing process, both around the world and here .... I hope you *did* celebrate, FW.

elantan

now that is something to celebrate ... enjoy

thriftyscotslass

Firewalker wrote: »

It symbolyses most of what I stand for - cultural revival, the importance of knowledge and the use of knowledge to be free of opression.

FW, you are one seriously impressive lady :T:T:T.

I hope you are feeling a little better, take care of yourself, Thriftyxxx

savingwannabe

I agree. FW is AMAZING.:D:D:D:D

Firewalker

Thank you Thrifty and SW – reading this kind of thing makes me feel really good however...I will start to believe some of it as well. Why am I saying this (and here we get into a very serious territory which some of you pursue professionally). This is my image of self and self achievement.

What made me think about it again? This morning over breakfast I asked OH whether he thinks that I am lazy; he laughed. ‘The very thought of the words ‘you’ and ‘lazy’ being in the same sentence is ridiculous.’ – he said. Why then I think of myself as lazy? Where did it come from? Could it be the reason why I take so much on that I disperse my energy and effect?

Interesting questions, all these. It may seem to be the musings of an idle mind but hear me out. You realise that the system for dealing with money, the whole ‘learn to control money’ is founded on the idea that controlling money is about changing one’s relationship with it. To change a relationship we can try to change ‘the other’ but this approach usually either fails or success is not sustainable. A way to change a relationship permanently we have to change ourselves. This is true when it is about relationships with people and it is certainly true when at stake is our relationship with money.

Changing one self can start with changing one’s thoughts, emotions or actions but ultimately has to run through all three. Interestingly, when one considers different kinds of therapy they inevitably use one of these three entry points. For now I have been changing my actions and emotions (to a somewhat lesser degree); what I would love to tackle next is my thoughts. Because

“Whether you think you can or you can’t – either way you are right.” – Henry Ford

Now, I probably should stop being so lazy...:rotfl::rotfl:


Firewalker

ani_26

Just popped in for a quick thought. I have followed your diary from the beginning, but never had the courage to post because i'm not an intellectual or an academic. I admire your writing, even though i don't always agree with the sentiments, or they are not always the way i think.

The thought for today - Theres no need to change either someone else or yourself, for any relationship, with either people, money, whatever. If you have to change someone, something else, or yourself, you should'nt be in that relationship. It therefore, is a waste of time and energies contemplating this issue.

In short. Never try and change anyone or yourself, but this is, of course, with regard to relationships. Just be yourself?

Runs and scurries back into hiding





Just read that back and realised the irony of why i don't have relationships or friends. Got to smile............

Triciaxx

Firewalker wrote: »

Why am I saying this (and here we get into a very serious territory which some of you pursue professionally). This is my image of self and self achievement.

What made me think about it again? This morning over breakfast I asked OH whether he thinks that I am lazy; he laughed. ‘The very thought of the words ‘you’ and ‘lazy’ being in the same sentence is ridiculous.’ – he said. Why then I think of myself as lazy? Where did it come from? Could it be the reason why I take so much on that I disperse my energy and effect?

“Whether you think you can or you can’t – either way you are right.” – Henry Ford

Now, I probably should stop being so lazy...:rotfl::rotfl:


Firewalker

There must be a virus going round! I've been thinking similar thoughts on the issue of self confidence. In your case, you 'see' yourself as lazy - a description no one else would recognise. In my case, it is a matter of feeling that I have not achieved. That, in some way, I have failed, not done enough.

I have been working through a load of issues over the past few weeks and, even though I know that it is the result of a mix of Catholic guilt complex - the nun's were not hot on praise! - and protestant work ethic, I still feel this, not all the time, but it comes back to haunt me when any issue arises which I either feel I can't cope with or don't want to deal with, that little voice starts up again.

And, you know, the fact that I need the validation makes me feel even worse and weak. The only answer, for me, is to drown out that voice with a more positive one and I work at recalling all the achievements in my life. Privately, of course, because otherwise it would be 'boasting' and my mother always considered that a mortal sin (along with being unpunctual).

Do you know what? I'm pretty d**n good. :T

And do you know something else? So are you. :T

savingwannabe

We should all eat cake. I am trying to be MSE and save money on train tickets but the site is down!!! Am trying though. Wish i had some cake.

I have the whole day off from work. What a luxury! Hope you all have a good day.

Karmacat

You both are! We all are! And Tricia, I think you're absolutely right that these negative voices come from our past, usually deep childhood. I've written a money autobiography, and its made me very aware of the messages I received about money - from ignoring it as being good manners, to bitter anger at those who have it. As for self esteem and the effect of childhood messages on that - for me, thats affected by mockery and being ignored. Working to heal it, and fighting against it, but it is difficult.



ETA - I was doing the train ticket thing earlier, SW - the site took *ages* - I woke early, and sat with the computer slowly churning its way to each page while I drank my morning cuppa. Hope you can get back on it soon, the savings are significant if you can get the right fares.

MrsMoo2U

FW, I think that this is definitely about your own perception of yourself. However have you thought about questioning what you believe to be "lazy". Do you look at other people and consider them lazy by your own standards? If so what exactly are your beliefs about being lazy? I am not sure if you have ever read the book, The Motivated Mind by Raj Persaud but I found it to be quite interesting. He talked about procrastination and how some people consider procrastinators to be lazy as all that they see is somebody who puts things off. Understanding the reasons that somebody puts things off can completely change one's perceptions of laziness. So are you lazy or are you a procrastinator. If the latter then what are the reasons that you are procrastinating and can/should you be tackling that issue in order to change your view of yourself?
Just a thought from me.