question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

PinkBatgirl

This situation sounds similar to the one I'm in, from the opposite side.

I met my OH when he had already paid off his mortgage and while I had just broken up with my ex with whom I jointly own a property with an interest-only mortgage.
I had lots of debts, he had none and savings to boot.

I moved in with him just a few months after we got together, he doesn't charge me rent, despite me offering as he sees the house as ours now, he wants to share. We split the bills and I'd pay for half of any maintenance that needs doing.

He was also generous enough to give me a loan to pay off my debts which I have insisted on paying him interest for, 1% more than he would be getting interest on the savings which isn't much at all!

So far as he in concerned, we are Together now and this is our shared life. When we move from the area in a couple of years time, I was stubbornly saying that he could pay outright for 'his half' of the house we buy whilst I take out a mortgage for 'my half'. I can see his point of view now that this is silly, and that a relationship (and by then I daresay a marriage) is a partnership, we don't come into it as equals but we work as a team. The likelihood is that when we move, he will be able to pay for 80% of the house outright and we will get a joint mortgage for the remaining 20%.

This still seems unfair to me, but then I've never had a relationship where I was viewing things in terms of having a family together and being a team before. If it was the other way around, I know I would also be insisting that he paid me no rent and that the money I had from equity and savings were there for the future financial safeguard of my family and as such should be put into the family home.

justwondering25 - I think you're entering into this like I had every relationship before my current one, in a logical way and ensuring that things would feel fair when the break-up happened. I hope this girl is the right one for you, and if she is, I think you need to be thinking of yourselves together as a team and do what is best for the team rather than you personally.

I haven't contributed anything to my OH's house and I very much feel the fact that it is his house, despite his insistence that it is now Ours, I'm very sure that your girlfriend will feel the same way, especially given that you don't have the same sharing attitude that my OH has, and I know that won't feel any different until we buy somewhere together.

If you're not sure you and your girlfriend will be staying together for the very long-term (marriage etc) then you might want to draw something up which says that the house is yours and she has no claim to it (which will also ensure it always feels like she is living in your house which is a very different feeling to 'living together') but please don't charge her rent if you want the relationship to work out.

As I've read the comments on this thread, I have felt them very personally being in a similar situation. When early comments referred to your girlfriend as 'wanting a free ride' or being 'money-grabbing' they stung me. If I'm completely honest, I offered to pay rent, at my OH's refusal, to ease my conscience. If he has taken me up on the offer, I'd feel it was unfair and resent him for it. As he said, he paid off his house before he met me, he can't expect me to pay for his decisions and his situation from before he even knew me. I still think it's unfair when we buy a house together for it to not be 50/50 but since we intend to be married then, things are different and marriages are rarely financially equal.

Sorry for the ramble, no idea if this helped or if you've given up reading before getting to page 20 or whatever it's up to now, but I hope it has helped.

justwondering25

Pink Batgirl , thank you for letting me and others into your experinces , it all helps , i have posted a update to page 1 of this thread that explains are solution for are future together in the short and longer term , its not factored in kids but that will have to be re-thought through together as a couple when it happens.

TypeR

"Life is a buisness , Money is the building bricks , Love is the mortar. IMHO Life is a buisness , Money is the building bricks , Love is the mortar. IMHO "

Just noticed this, there is a sad irony you've linked all these three together, people's love of money and 'building blocks' (property) is what precipitated the global crash of 2007 - something we're all going to be paying for, for a very very long time........and to think this all started with you wanting your girlfriend to pay rent (MONEY MONEY MONEY) and has ended in you talking about Investment Properties.

Richard019

Now I've got a reputation for being tight, but I definately wouldn't even charge a friend rent if we were in a mortgage free property never mind a girlfriend, and I'm not sure I'd want them paying it even if I still had a mortgage outstanding.

I'd want them to pay their way on the bills which I don't think anyone can disagreee with. I'd view the fact I was saving 1/3 on my Council tax (2 of us paying 50% each instead of 1 paying 75%), half on the gas/electric, half on the TV licence/Sky/phone/internet etc as being enough of a contribution.

At the end of the day, when they left (if in case of a girlfriend) I'd own the whole property, them moving in would have helped me pay for it more quickly, and they'd be better off than if they'd rented seperately. Everybody wins, and that's how it should be.

---

Of course there's the added complication of tax if you're charging her rent rather than just a contribution to the bills. I think the savings account that she's to put into is a much better option.

There'd be nothing unusual about a couple moving in together to save money. If one had capital (like you do) it would be natural for the other to be saving so that for their next place they could buy in on a more even footing. I don't think the taxman would have much interest in that so I'd expect there to be nothing to declare. If you charge rent though you probably need to declare that, and there could be an anonymous tip off if you've not declared it and you have a nasty break-up a few years down the line.

TBH I can't even see the point of you charging it, as a couple you'll end up with less money available than if you didn't, and in terms of the balance what's the actual effect? You'll have more, she'll have less but what's the point? When it comes to a holiday or whatever is one of you going to turn round to the other and go "Well I can afford to go to Hawaii, but you can only afford to go to Brighton. Hard luck, I'll make sure I send you a postcard."

tehomet

I think if your girlfriend moves in with you, she should pay her fair share of the living costs, such as electricity bills, groceries, etc. But she shouldn't have to pay you rent when the mortgage is paid off.

If you were setting up home together, were choosing a place and paying equal amounts or fair shares of the rent/mortgage payments, that would be different. But if you've no outgoing cost re: the roof over your heads in the form of rent or mortgage, and you're still asking the person you love to pay for the privilege of staying with you and (presumably) sleeping with you... to me, that's gross and exploitative. I'm sure you don't mean it that way. But that's how it looks to me. In my opinion, it puts you in a position where you're expecting her to pay to sleep with you. It's quite offputting.

It would be TOTALLY different if you and she were just friends and she was moving in as a roommate. Personally, I still wouldn't charge her anything except a contribution to bills, but if you did, that wouldn't be wrong.

So anyway, I suggest that if you are interested in staying with this lady, you don't charge her rent. Do you make guests at your birthday party buy tickets? Do you charge the vicar/priest/postman a bicycle parking fee in your driveway?

I would suggest to your girlfriend that she seriously reconsider her relationship with you. If she were asking the question, I would advise her to break up with you, in fact. If she wanted to continue being in a relationship with you, I'd strongly recommend that she not move in with you and the two of you continue living separately. I don't say this to hurt your feelings, just to keep things clear.

Other commenters have pointed out that if you do make her pay rent and she's foolish enough to agree to that, then she's got legal rights to the property. There's a reason for that - a romantic relationship is different to a business relationship, forming a household with the one you love shouldn't be a profit-making exercise.

antonia1

If I were you I wouldn't dream of asking my OH to pay rent, I would be far too excited about making such a committment. If you were still paying a mortgage thats different, or if you were asking a rent-paying lodger to move out so she could move in you might expect her to cover the lost rental. At the moment, if you are not losing out from her moving in, the million dollar question is: why are you looking to make money out of her?

As things stand, be pleased that you've managed to have your own house, there are millions of people in this country that would love to be in the same position.

If my OH asked me to move in and expected me to pay rent that I would definately question our relationship. I would probably try to insist that he let me pay all bills instead, but I know he wouldn't agree. In our relationship we work together to get the best out of life that we jointly can. I might get kicked off the website for saying this, but some things really are more important than money. I'd give my last penny to make my OH happy, and I know without a shadow of a doubt he'd do the same.

poorbabe

JW25 - I thought you were very brave to put your business out there but it's a topic few people discuss before living together.

I'm glad the two of you have come to an arrangement wish the both of you well for the future.



FinanciallyStable - you might want to rethink your relationship with your lodger. It appears to me you are enabling his laziness and he's glad to have an easy life. Apols if I've read it wrongly.

silvery

Just a point to all the pre-nuptial recommenders - this is only legal if the couple remain unmarried. Once married and then splitting, the divorce courts will decide who gets what.
It's been an interesting debate, a difficult topic, and a brave man for posing it. For me, sharing (noble and loving though it may sound) without arrangements for the future put in place makes for later disasters and animosity.

I'm glad the poster has found an agreeable solution. Personally I think they should both be in a joint mortgage from the start. He would then still own his original house, and they would jointly own the joint house.
In the event of a split (hope not) both would be back in the position they were before as regards property, and each would own half of a house in proportion to the time they were together and the contribution made. They could sell and take the money, or one could buy the other out.
In the event of children, the poster would still have his original property but would have to rethink his stance with regard to his family.

It's a serious issue, which should be thought about more. Well done, poster, and all the best.

lindyb_3

I totally agree with the man who is charging rent for his girlfriend to live in his property.

I am a girl who owns her own property (very close to being mortgage free) and my boyfriend pays rent to live with me. I do not see this as a problem and nor does my boyfriend. He uses the water, electric and gas and he is very happy to contribute to the household.

I agree with every house owner charging their loved one to stay at their property. Its not money making its fair!

DEepBLISS

Get a rent book, take the money you suggest, put it in a savings account. Take half the cost of the bills and pay all of them yourself. Basically your 2-3 years in the investment property would amount to a trial for both of you and her paying you shows a commitment to the long term plan. At the end of that time you use the money for a deposit as you say – or give it all back. That’s the easy bit. Now what? You own a house that you could sell. Are her earnings still sufficient for her to match half the cost of your proposed new house as a mortgage and your half paid for in cash? What happens then if kids come along? At some point you both need to decide where you’re living and how long term this is. You are going to go into this with a fuller pack of cards than she has at every stage. At some point you may have to share. It’s not like opening a box of chocs to eat between you, we are all capable of the romantic bit but sharing a hard earned fortune? Maybe deep down if she earns so much more than you but has little materially to show for it, are you slightly worried that her goals will not be equal to yours? On the surface you seem to be doing all the running (almost literally with your travelling) and she’s making the fuss when you try and come up with a solution. Is she only committed to you in The Midlands, only committed if she lives rent free, only committed if she can stay and look after the cats. There are fairly big decisions to be made in a life together and this is maybe your first one. Talk. Then talk some more. If you can’t sort this then I’m afraid it is a biggie and maybe it should be a relationship crusher. I do not envy you your dilemma, love makes it all the more difficult, but I totally believe you are right to try and solve this unemotionally.

BUT there are threads that say you are sorted so well done. First major hurdle jumped!:j