question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

Stigkgal

If the boot was on the other foot, and say you had not a pot of ANYTHING: would you feel it fair to be 'turned down' as a prospective partner for that reason, or would you feel like you had a lucky escape?
You cant negotiate how much love someone is going to give you, so why negotiate how much rent? If you feel she is loving you just a little too less, would you be able to put up her rent? lol.
Seriously tho, what if she lost her job and couldnt pay you rent? Housing benefit; eviction or maybe a compromise? Or should she take out some kind of self-administered PPI?
Seems crazy to me, and I would run a mile to the poor bloke round the corner!!

Ahh well, Good Luck where Good Luck is offered


Pastafarianism Rules!

paintsplattered

justwondering25 wrote: »

although i would not ask her for any of her savings , this is a fair point , what if my girlfriend had equal savings to the value of my house in her bank account , should i be entitled to half the interest she earns from the money ................hmmmmmmm very much a extremely fair point.

Surely that is a matter of the return from your equity... I agree that she should not be entitled to a share of your house should you split nor of any gain in value unless she paid for a significant improvement to the property such as an extension. and a formal agreement for this would seem like a rational idea. Her contributions towards general repairs should cover the wear and tear that her presence would incur. I would suggest that as a couple you should look at how your collective money could work harder for you both.
Providing that you have an equitable arrangement for sharing the household bills (remember that some of these will not go up much even when you double the size of the household), you will not suffer financially from your GF living with you and your life will be enhanced (hopefully) by living with a partner whom you love. In fact think of the travel bills you won't have in order see her from now on! (And the chores shared;))
I think the problem is that from a distance, it did look like you wanted to make money out of your girlfriend at worst or were resentful of her making any savings at best. I could ramble on about the changes in society that have lowered people's expectations of relationships and each other generally and how we have become a selfish civilization, but I won't... this time!

I'm glad that you seem to have got things straight and sorted now and wish you and your girlfriend luck for a happy future together.

jamespir

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

justwondering25 wrote: »

Eat cheese before you goto bed tonight....you'll soon know all about it.

~ Shivers ~

brewski_2

why dont you both put some money away in a high interest joint account where both have to sign to withdraw the money and your girlfriend can maybe put £150 a month more than you. This way you cant access the money you have both saved without the others signature and you can use the money for bills. Everyones happy.

debtdesperado

I posted around the beginning of this thread and have just seen the update post from the original poster... I just dropped in to say get what you and your GF have agreed in writing!

You could get solicitors involved, but if you don't want the expense, the way to do it is put it in a letter, print two copies, each sign both copies (and get a witness who isn't related to either of you to sign it saying that he or she saw both of you sign it), then put each copy in an envelope, seal it and post both envelopes, so at the end you have two postmarked, unopened letters. Then you each keep an envelope, unopened.

If there are no problems, you will never need to look at the envelopes again (unless you marry each other, in which case assume that it will override anything you agreed prior to the marriage). If not, take the unopened envelope to a solicitor if there are any problems, and let them open it and you have a reliable record of what was agreed and when.

Another thing is that it would be a good idea to decide what will happen to your property if anything happens to you whilst your GF is there, and reflect that in your will (and if you don't want her to inherit anything, also say so in the above letter). Otherwise, if things aren't worked out now you could be leaving a mess and a potential legal dispute for your heirs. As there is a property involved, it means a lot of money is at stake, which never brings out the best in anyone. So for example if you wanted your GF to inherit the house, say so, or alternatively if you want a relative to inherit it, do you want your GF to be evicted immediately, or perhaps would you want the relative to allow your GF to live in it for a year after your death but paying a proper rent, (or a cheap rent) whilst she recovers from your passing and gets herself back on her feet?

Also think about the house contents - if everything goes to a relative and not your GF is this fair considering that she will probably be contributing to things for the house?

There is a lot to think about, and hopefully none of this will come to pass but agreeing things properly now will save heartache, loss and bitterness in the future. :-)

Joanne1324

This story really amuses me - for more than one reason. If i was your girlfriend I would probably pack my bags and leave. You are making your relationship sound like a commercial agreement. If she earns twice as much as you do then why on earth don't you go and buy a house together - then you can split the mortgage and to answer your question
"I wonder who would end up with my house ?" - well in this case both of you would. Why on earth should she pay rent towards YOUR house? I think it is completely ridiculous!!!
Before my boyfriend and I lived together he owned a flat, the idea that he would have asked me to move in and pay his non-existant mortgage is hillarious! I believe that there are living costs and that should be accounted for by you both. You seem to be more into the financial situation than you are into your girlfriend. I would take a long hard think about what you really want - a healthy, happy relationship which is equal and fair? If so go buy a house and split the mortgage - that way when you split up as you are already thinking about you will both be happy. Or is it a relationship driven by what is financially fair and beneficial to yourself - if so I can only imagine the relationship will come to an end at one point anyway. People do not want to be driven by and controlled by money. This is what splits a family, not makes one.

PoorPennilessMe

jamespir wrote: »

err whats the flying spaghetti monster

It was in a South Park Episode featuring Richard Dawkins who said that just because you couldn't disprove the existence of a flying spaghetti monster doesn't make it real (he was suggesting like god).

The FSM now has quite a large church... Lol

Google it... some funny stuff about.

missrlr

Right I read the first page including updates, and some of the interim, but I confess to not having trawelled the 19 pages. I think money in return to experience a cheaper and possibly better standard of living is acceptable, but it needs to be properly calculated.

What the value is depends on what income and other outgoings are there relating to the two of you. For instance does the cost of commuting remain the same for work (income generation) or other personal pre-existing commitments?

From my personal experience I am not mortgage free, but that aside I am debt free. The OH not only has debts but has an interest only mortgage. I moved into his house and rented mine. My commute to work remained the same. My cost of living remained the same (I rented a room previously so it was not like I suddenly only had 50% of the bills to pay) but he was not happy with the fact I was bascially gaining income from the renting of my house. And he got a bee in his bonnet regarding his debt and the perceived available cash I "had".

We ended up agreeing that my moving to his house would:
1.decrease travel costs for both of us to see each other (at 100 mile round trip this was mounting up!), but not actually affect other ususally incurred travel costs for either of us.
2. increase my income (calculated as the difference between rent from whole house, less rental associated bills, less amount I already obtained from renting the room) thus obtaining the increase the move had generated for me.
3. Remove the necessity of his renting a room in the house and thus remove his income potential from that.

So I now pay his credit card each month with the 50% of the calculation of 2 above plus 50% of the household bills, which equates to pretty much what he would have got for renting a room anyway which makes him feel better, reduces his debt, ensures he does not have a charge on my house or me on his and I am happy with this being a fair assessment.

So good luck with the calculations!

One could see a scenario where this gets paid to another account though.

niccatw

Hi JustWondering

Like DebtDesperado, I posted back near the beginning. Recognised your thread in this weeks money moral dilemma.

Just wanted to say well done and I'm very impressed you're brave enough to open your thread up to the mass email .

I think you and your gf are being very sensible thinking about this before you make the next move. You both know where the other stands on these issues.

My brother and his OH were together 5 years before getting married, their marriage lasted 10 months as money became a massive issue as soon as the married. Had they been able to work it our beforehand, they and their three children would not have had to go through the pain they are going through at the moment (they still love each other they just can't seem to find a way that works for them together) and it might never have come to that.

Again, good luck for the future.

dcholmwood

Hi everyone,

This is my first post, although I have read a few of these threads before.

I can totally see where you’re coming from regarding bills etc.

But as for having your girlfriend pay rent... its madness.

I get that you own your home outright. Well done . Why should she pay rent when nothing is owned? You worked hard to pay the house off, and the benefit is... it’s yours. 100%. She has no right to it as it stands, so why should she pay something... for nothing.

If she pays half of all the bills she will be paying more than the cost of having her there, and as such will also reduce your costs. You both gain from it.

It’s important to look pay attention to money. I understand that. I do budgets for myself, my girlfriend and my best friend. But the way you look at life is crazy... Life isn’t a balance sheet. Everything you have said is so money focused... Not every movement or thing you do in life is a transaction.

I don’t know how she can handle your attitude. Her living with you, not paying rent, but paying half the bills will reduce your costs and if you can let go of numbers for a short while, improve your happiness. You not going to lose out financially, you will gain.

She should contribute (i.e. cover the increase in variable costs and pay towards fixed costs) but you shouldn’t actually profit. Madness.

Oh... and life isn’t fair, nor is it 50:50. Things change and it’s by being sensible, flexible and adaptive that you can survive.

Damian.

Debt free and saving.