Feeling overwhelmed

foreign_correspondent

emsywoo123 wrote: »

She has just caught my daughter with her teeth when they were playing, DD is now convinced she has been bitten, she will tell my parents later, they'll probably try to make me choose or do something to say DD and baby not safe.

This is what pups do - all of them mouth during play - to expect anything other is niave... I am really concerned that your OH is not being more supportive to you though.

I work from home part of the time too, and it seems people tend to think it's not really working - that they can pop in if my car's outside and expect me to make a cuppa etc... it can be very hard work sometimes, and if you have a small child, a lively pup, and hormones kicking in I can imagine you must feel pretty exasperated...

Its really not fair for him to put it all on to you... was getting the pup a joint decision btw?

emsywoo123

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

This is what pups do - all of them mouth during play - to expect anything other is niave... I am really concerned that your OH is not being more supportive to you though.

I work from home part of the time too, and it seems people tend to think it's not really working - that they can pop in if my car's outside and expect me to make a cuppa etc... it can be very hard work sometimes, and if you have a small child, a lively pup, and hormones kicking in I can imagine you must feel pretty exasperated...

Its really not fair for him to put it all on to you... was getting the pup a joint decision btw?

Yes, Poppy was a joint decision, although he now insists it was all my idea. :mad:
And yes, I know it is what they do, and I explained to DD she was just excited etc etc...........she has calmed down a bit now, but if she just mentions it to parents all hell will break lose.
It's a new business, that I started a couple of weeks before finding out I was preggers............

foreign_correspondent

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Yes, Poppy was a joint decision, although he now insists it was all my idea. :mad:
And yes, I know it is what they do, and I explained to DD she was just excited etc etc...........she has calmed down a bit now, but if she just mentions it to parents all hell will break lose.
It's a new business, that I started a couple of weeks before finding out I was preggers............

I think you need to sit down and talk to him about it all - I am not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed - a small child, a lively pup and a new business that you are trying to get off the ground... and a pregnancy...

At the moment you seem to be caught between your parents potential anger at the pup being a pup, and mouthing, and being generally hard work, and your OHs potential anger at you thinking about the pup going...

It seems a bit of a no win situation, realistically, it sounds like either way, someone will not be happy... but really, you may just have to deal with this.

Ultimately, you need to think about whether you can commit to training, socialising and exercising this pup. A labrador at 12 months oild could be a nightmare if you dont get it right, or could be becoming a nice, well behaved dog if you do... you need it to be the latter around a new baby, so the work needs to be put in now, and every day from now - if you can, then great, go for it, talk to local training classes, get the dog out and about asap, etc.

If you can't and OH wont (and do be honest with yourself) then its kinder that the pup goes to someone who has the time and energy to get it right.

Would the breeder take him back, and are you confident they would look after him, even if his cough needs ongoing treatment?

emsywoo123

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

I think you need to sit down and talk to him about it all - I am not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed - a small child, a lively pup and a new business that you are trying to get off the ground... and a pregnancy...

At the moment you seem to be caught between your parents potential anger at the pup being a pup, and mouthing, and being generally hard work, and your OHs potential anger at you thinking about the pup going...

It seems a bit of a no win situation, realistically, it sounds like either way, someone will not be happy... but really, you may just have to deal with this.

Ultimately, you need to think about whether you can commit to training, socialising and exercising this pup. A labrador at 12 months oild could be a nightmare if you dont get it right, or could be becoming a nice, well behaved dog if you do... you need it to be the latter around a new baby, so the work needs to be put in now, and every day from now - if you can, then great, go for it, talk to local training classes, get the dog out and about asap, etc.

If you can't and OH wont (and do be honest with yourself) then its kinder that the pup goes to someone who has the time and energy to get it right.

Would the breeder take him back, and are you confident they would look after him, even if his cough needs ongoing treatment?

Quite. Someone is going to end up going mental at me, and I really do not feel I have done anything wrong, just stuck in the middle. And I really cannot cope with it at the minute.
Breeder has disappeared. No phone calls, no answering, no response nothing. Dodgy in the extreme.

foreign_correspondent

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Quite. Someone is going to end up going mental at me, and I really do not feel I have done anything wrong, just stuck in the middle. And I really cannot cope with it at the minute.
Breeder has disappeared. No phone calls, no answering, no response nothing. Dodgy in the extreme.

Don't send the dog back there then.... are they KC registered? A Labrador breed rescue would probably be the best bet - pup would likely be homed with someone who knows labs and who would be prepared for what they were taking on.

emsywoo123

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

Don't send the dog back there then.... are they KC registered? A Labrador breed rescue would probably be the best bet - pup would likely be homed with someone who knows labs and who would be prepared for what they were taking on.

But I do not know that I want her re-homed..............I do not know what to do. I hate this poxy situation.

foreign_correspondent

emsywoo123 wrote: »

But I do not know that I want her re-homed..............I do not know what to do. I hate this poxy situation.

I know that, but it is worth considering all the options - you do need to make a decision though, either to put 100% into this pup, (and to be honest, from what you have said, it looks like it will be you, not the OH), all the way through your pregnancy and beyond, or to let her go.

The worst case scanario is that, without enough work and commitment, she ends up being a difficult and boisterous adolescent dog when the baby comes, who is just too much like hard work - rehoming her then, with learnt bad behaviours that need re-training is not fair on the dog, means she may not be so easy to home, and may be more of a wrench for you than it would be now.

Best case scenario is that the pup gets all the training and stimulation it needs to become a happy, well trained dog (although she will still be full of beans, and may well be experiencing a bit of adolescent rebellion when the baby comes, which can mean that some prior training seems to fly out of the window!) She will still most likely be a handful in october...

.... but she needs to be with someone who has the time and energy to do it, and who can put up with all the puppy behaviours which will be displayed in the next few months - she will soon be far bigger, and will be likely to knock your little one over, she will mouth and nip, she will chew, and will need watching like a hawk and training out of it...

... you need to either decide you will take this challenge on, and have the energy and enthusiasm for it, or decide to let her go to someone who can...

emsywoo123

Thanks, I'm just worried about making any decisions while I am so hormonal LOL.

foreign_correspondent

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Thanks, I'm just worried about making any decisions while I am so hormonal LOL.

I know... do you have any other dog owning friends you can talk to for advice or support?

I am concerned the dog is still coughing, I seem to remember she was the one the breeder had not vacc'd either, which is adding to your difficulties....and now they don't answer the phone... is the breeder KC registered? Are they breeding as a 'hobby' or a business...?

.. I ask, because if they are registered it may be worth considering reporting them to the KC...

ETA - Emsy, I was looking for your previous post re: the breeder/vaccs, when I found this... what happened to the cocker?

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I have a 13 week old cocker...........and she is delightful. Nearly house trained, very calm with my DD (who is 4) and yet really playful. Couldn't recommend them highly enough.
As other posters have said, although many people can justifiably generalise certain breeds, a dog's behaviour will often depend on it's treatment!
Good luck with what you decide to get!
p.s. With a young child, I would only get a puppy. My personal opinion, but I think the OP is right.

vl2588

Lots of good advice already but just a small tip - when he nips you, whether deliberately or by mistake, give a little high-pitched scream. This is what his siblings would do and will teach him not to do it