'Can't afford kids'

RAS

ironman1 wrote: »

Has anyone here not got a car but has a kid? If we can avoid buying one I'd love to but it must be nearly impossible with a baby...

Quite possible. Littlies do not need a car - front carrier and then back carrier to about 18 months-two depending on their weight.

Do you ride bikes? Over that age, put them in a seat in front or behind you.

In the Netherlands, whole families are transported by two parents - I mean 5 kids.

Spendless

ironman1 wrote: »

Well the replies I've been able to read have made me feel more confident about things I have to say.

I hope I haven't come across as one of those people who moans about the benefit grabbers. I've never really thought about it untill we properly discussed having a baby.

Has anyone here not got a car but has a kid? If we can avoid buying one I'd love to but it must be nearly impossible with a baby...

Where are the areas that you think you'll need a car with a baby? From my house I can walk to the nearest private nursery, the children's centre, playgroups, 3 different Primary schools 2 with school nurseries, secondary school my GP's, Scouts hut, parish hall, youth club, local shops, 3 chemists, a supermarket, nearby play park, library. Some of these places are a stone's throw away others 25 minute walk maximum, so I could do all these without a car. I also have a train station and a bus route to get into the town centre. I usually always use the train as I found in my pushchair days it was a lot easier and cheaper than the bus.

My main reason for having a car is that I'm job hunting and without it, it would seriously impact on where I looked.

chloe99_2

Yes, you have to be looking at things differently. We could afford NO holidays, one cheap to run old car, NO new clothes, nice second hand stuff for baby, restricted grocery shopping (eg no ready meals, no squash, no yoghurts, no oven chips, no crisps etc), NO alcohol or fags, NO cable/SKY etc one takeaway every few months etc. BUT, we didnt feel like we wanted for anythig - we were self supporting. Plus as a minimum you would get £60pcm child benefit and £40 child tax credits.

Really, go through you finances as if you were facing a repossession or something and you will most probabnly see that if you get rid of all the stuff you like having but dont actually need, and add on the minimum £100 pcm net that you get from the govt, you will be able to afford kids. Also everyone gets a cash maternity grant and low paid get another cash sum when baby is born. During baby's first year all employed get an extra £40 odd net per month on top.

hurricanewyn

Hi - when we had our second my OH was on 16K and I was on 10K - we spent 600 a month on childcare and OH's wage went entirely on bills and rent then mortgage & utility bills and I paid our childcare and with the remaining 200 a month I paid for Council Tax, House Insurance and all food shopping. It was hard at first, I won't lie - we kept the kids on jars and formula for as long as possible because our diet just wasn't good enough to have little ones on. A lot of pasta and tomato sauce. We didn't have a car (and still don't) because we couldn't afford to run one, but I was able to walk to work and OH got the train. But once the eldest went to school full time I was able to reduce my hours so that I was working school hours and now that my youngest is there it's just gotten so much easier. I'm not lucky enough to work term times, so we still have school holidays, so me & OH take leave opposite each other to look after the kids and they stay with their Nan for a couple of weeks in the long break in the summer. It means no family holidays but we have nice days out on bank holidays when we're all together.
Like I say, it's not easy, but to be honest I would trade all the nice holidays in the world and all the other sacrifices we've made for my two & I'm sure you'll both feel exactly the same if you do decide to go ahead and start your family.

*Louise*

I had a mortgage and first baby when I was 20. We worked everything on OH's wage from the start then when I stopped working it wasn't a shock to our finances, although tax credits did help.

I did go back to work while DS1 was little but had to give up due to lack of childcare.

You need to take child benefit/tax credits into consideration. PLus any maternity pay that might be coming in for a while. Then think about when/if you are both back working...can you afford a nursery?

At the end if the day, if you want a child badly enough, you will make the sacrifices. OH and I don't go out often and the only foreign holiday we have had was our honeymoon which my parents paid for. But in 10, 20 years time, I would rather look back on memories of my children as youngsters that any memory of holidays, flash cars, nights out etc etc

ironman1

Well as I said we live in London in a little town next to a station and all the bus routes. About 15 minute train journey from home. We have lived without a car for two years no worries and would prefer to keep it that we if possible!

bugbabe1970

I have a beautiful friend who has been married for 15 years who waited until she could afford to have children, and unfortunately, has waited too long, she is unable to concieve and is devastated. I had my first when I was 21, my 2nd at 25 and my 3rd at 30 and was preety skint when they were all concieved. We found the money from somewhere, we worked oppostie shifts and was lucky enough to have some help from mum and dad.

If you wait until you can afford it you might just live to regret it. You just have to be realistic and not get too upset when you have to choose between buying nappies and wipes instead of a bottle of wine and a take away. Its worth it x

csh_2

I always think on these threads people start on about stop having holidays and nights out and you can afford it.
Everyones circumstances are completely different and we don't know the OPs salary and what his mortgage repayments are so can't really 'judge' how much money he wastes or not.
I'm guessing with a 2 bed house in London his mortgage isn't around the low hundreds.
'Most' young couples and first time buyers buy their house based on joint salary multiples and when 1 salary is effectively swallowed up by childcare costs, it is a worry, and some people don't manage.

To the OP, I agree you really just have to go for it and hope that'll it'll work itself out eventually.

I had no car until my DD was 5. Looking back (as a driver!) I don't know how I managed but at the time it was no great hardship. I couldn't drive so its not like I had any other option!

hurricanewyn

OP has already said that he has about 600 a month spare after bills and mortgage and that doesn't include the money spent overpaying on the mortgage. I don't think anyone was 'judging', just offering opinions really - just reassuring him that it'll probably be the luxuries that need to go, not the necessities.

choccybikkie_2

Hi Ironman

We have baby no 4 due in 4 weeks. I am 30 dh is 33 and we had our 1 st child 11 yrs ago. I used to work p/t in the evenings but as my dh has progressed in his company I have been able to be a SAHM. He isn't on a 'High' income but our priorities are very different to friends of ours who don't have children. We have our own home,2 cars and our kids have all they need. We have never claimed any benefits.Just the standard Child benefit that everyone gets and child tax credits.
We don't have flashy hols- probably a caravan/beach hols which the kids love more than anything, we have been to disney (paris) a few times but instead of going mid summer when it's mega expensive and busy we go in january when it is cheap/quiet (and v v cold):p We have much more fun at weekends on family bike rides/woodland walks and expensive days out as a treat in school hols or occaisions etc.

It IS possible,it depends on what your priorities are? And how much you want something to happen;)