'Can't afford kids'

ironman1

Until me and my girlfriend moved in together a couple of years ago I used to always think the 'We can't afford kids' quote used by people we knew was an exaggeration. I mean if you both work surely it's not too hard to afford it... Now i'm wondering HOW young couples with an average wage and a mortgage afford one child let alone more.

I'm not too clued up but what help is available to those in work and with their own place who want to bring a baby into the world? alot of her friends have had or are due a kid, maybe even their third. But the difference is they get their bills and accomadation paid for.

I'm not knocking everyone who is in this situation but how do two working early to mid twenties couples afford it?

I don't earn bad money but no way could we afford nursery fees or my girlfriend to give up work. Please tell me how it's possible? i'm not saying people like me should get help but then why should the baby machines we both know get everything on a plate?

Please don't think this is a benefit debate because it's not, we just both want a baby to bring up in our own home but how do we manage with the bills and mortgage and one wage and or nursery fees?

Any advice would be great, cheers...

74jax

Are you saying if you wrote down all your outgoings (bills, food & petrol) then one wage wouldn't cover this? or do you mean your wage would cover this but with nothing spare?

What is your salary? Depending on what it is you may be entitled to working tax credits. If you put in your figures into entitledto.com you can play around with figures and find out if you can afford it or not. However, this can take a couple of hours to do correctly so make sur eyou have all figures including bills and your partner's salary.

Now maybe a good time to get rid of unnecessary bills if you have any - insurances you no longer need, sky, reduce your mobiel phone/home phone packages, start eating the shop's own band food etc and see if you can save money off your monthly outgoings.

How much is your mortgage? can that be reduced, did you buy at a high price, would you need to move for a baby so would loose money or are you ok where you are?

RAS

Hi

Your starting point is to put your income into www.entitledto.com with your cost and work out what WTC, CTC and CB you would get if OH stopped work.

Then see what would happen if she returned to work part-time and you paid for child care.

DKLS

My mate jokes, about having a Porsche or a Kid, now he has one he wished he went for the porsche as it would be cheaper.

xmaslolly76

Thats a bit of a "how long is a piece of string?" type question.

Why dont you pop on to entitledto.com and play around with some figures you may be surprised at the help you can get.

I think the majority of people save what they can towards the future costs which in all honesty can be as little or as much as you want to spend. babies themselves can be relatively cheap. Baby equipment can be bought second hand ( i know makes you cringe at first doesnt it but you would be amazed at the untouched things you can get as babies grow so fast they get no real wear) and your family allowance should more than cover the weekly expenses such as milk and nappies. If you save enough to cover the shortfall of wages during maternity leave the only major expense that i can think of would be childcare and there are cheaper alternatives to nurserys. I use a childminder myself and she is about half the cost of a nursery. Plus its not forever and once the child is school age your childcare costs should reduce drastically.

I dont think anyone can ever truely afford a baby when you put it down on paper in black and white but people manage and make sacrifices and in personal experience its worth everything i have had to give up to do.

If you do decide to take the plunge i wish you and your OH all the happiness in the world :-) x

snugglepet20

When you have children the money you have just seems to stretch further. Basically you have to think carefully about everything you buy and you personally get less, also you cannot go out as much so all the money you spend on restaurants, pubs etc goes to the child. Your wardrobe gets scruffier and you stop buying treats for yourself and having nice holidays but somehow you don't care!

One wage living is tough especially when you have to support 4 or 5 people but we are managing to do it. Previously we had one child and both worked full time and we had plenty of money inspite of childcare costs although it is steep at £115-£170 a week full price but usually you get some back from tax credit.

pinkclouds

It's all about balance and choices.

We *can* afford kids.

We can't afford vacations, new kitchen, expensive clothes, lots of gadgets, etc.

Money_maker

ironman1 wrote: »

we just both want a baby to bring up in our own home

I know I'll get slated for this but are you sure that you want to start a family? Your post comes over as boyfriend/girlfriend living together for 2 years want a baby to bring up.

How about a very much in love couple who would like to start a family, willing to go without for the next decade in order to have their own son/daughter they can nurture, care for and raise?

I'm a bit tetchy today which is why I'm a bit picky (my DD threw up on a clients bed) but to be honest you can never afford children. Few treats and lots of love - you wont go far wrong.

MERFE

You manage, simple.

We dont own our own house but have not received benefits other than the basic child benefit, tax credit etc. I was a SAHM for a while as working with 2 young children is very hard and pointless after childcare, and we had a budget for everything, if we wanted haircuts we had to save for them (well I did, OH just got himself some clippers). Now I'm back to work, I work evenings so we dont pay any childcare so there is more available money for little extras. Days out used to be courtesy of tesco vouchers etc

I was quite rudely asked how we could possibly afford children by my SIL when I was pregnant with the first, and quite frankly the reason was we didnt have new gas guzzling cars like her, or holidays abroad 2-3 times a year so wasnt going to miss any of it.

At the end of the day I was not prepared to put off having children as the thought of not ever having them would make life pointless to me.

Over the years OH wage has gone up as he trained and so every year our personal money situation improves. Next year the kids will both be at school full time and I'll be able to work during the day as well, I'm training in my evening job and in 2 years will be on a much higher wage than currently and we will be in a situation to buy then. Hopefully we can stay where we are until the kids start secondary school and we will move/buy then to be closer to the big school as they are not near where we are now.

plane_boy2000

In our case we have managed it (with 4) because my partners job as an agency nurse is flexible - she works when she wants and it pays well so she will tend to work a night's and as she comes home I go out to work. Not ideal, but it has allowed us to have the 4 children we wanted and buy a nice house.

BIL has moved in with his GF who already has 3 kids - she gets 250 a week in benefits on top of his 20K sallary so I would say that they have a better work life balance than us, but I personally like to stand on my own 2 feet

Do you have a skill that you could use at different hours to your partners to make the most of what you have and avoid nursery fees?

Make-it-3

Do the calculations as others have suggested, but how about waiting awhile and saving up. Plenty of people in their early-mid twenties aren't even in the position you're in (saddled with student debts and no hope of getting a mortgage). You have plenty of time in life yet for children. However, if you are committed and really want a child now you will find a way, your spending priorities need to adapt when having a child anyway. Look at what you spend now on pubs, clubs, going out, holidays etc - this will all have to alter.