'Can't afford kids'

jcr16

i think before you have children u think it just not possible to afford it, but somehow you just do.There is never a perfect time, some times are just better than others.

Hubby works i'm a stay at home mum. we have 3 kids. our Mpv is 7 years old, we only go on holiday every other year, our tv isn't the latest, clothes are bought in sale or ebay ( mainly through choice as i don't see the point in spending £15 on a new jumper when i know what my children are like for getting mucky).But we all eat proper meals, have a nice warm family home, were smart and respectable . we have all we need to have and a huge amount of love thrown in for good measure.

when we first had our dd my hubby earn just under £1k a month, i lost my job through redundancy but we did it. our rent was £500 and council tax was £100. but we managed. he got a pay rise, moved somewhere cheaper to rent cheaper council tax. When you have children somehow your instincts take over and you provide.

i read you made a comment about a person who has had a lot of children by different men and has now got preg by a random fella so not to have to get a job, at end of day if she wants to do that then fine. ( and yes it is frustrating, i do understand) But you know what you are your girlfriend are the ones who at end of day can hold ur heads up high and be proud that you are supporting yourselfs and providing the best you can. and you know what It makes you feel amazing.

once your baby is here in your arms no matter how tight money may be it will all be worth it.

ironman1

Oh and we have a two bedroom flat despite there being just two of us, the reason being we knew we'd want kids within two or three years.

At the moment I worked out we have about six hundred a month 'spare' after mortgage, bills, travel etc. Thats without a car. We currently overpay our mortgage by a few hundred a month so there is money there. Obviously if we had about fifty quid left over a month we wouldn't even be thinking about it

mumOf2wonderfulkids

ironman1 wrote: »

To the person who had three kids and only the husband worked, difference is times have obviously changed or he is on 40k plus a year surely? Certainly not possible for someone with an average wage.

it is totally possible on an average wage, i don't know how they do it but my mother was a single parent who worked full time with 3 of us, granted i was a bit older and looked after my sibling but it is possible, you just have to learn to not spend above your means, you can't have three kids and a small wage and still expect to go on 3 holidays a year. our last holiday was our honeymoon 5 years ago, but saying that we do always have enough to take the kids on days out, splash out a little on birthdays / christmas my kids always have what they need and some of what they want. I read these forums every day to find bargains and always check for cheapest price if i need to get something.

wildfrog

There are some awesome replies here with great advice. We are due our second in 7 weeks and we look back now and think "what on earth did we do with our money prior to having children?!"

For us, we drew up a rough budget for when we had a child (taking into account childcare costs, reduction in earnings, any benefits we would recieve, how much food and fuel would be a week etc) and then tried to live by it before we started trying, saving the excess. The excess then covered my loss of earnings when on maternity leave. This gave use an idea of how realistic our budget was. We also used this site alot to reduce the outgoings we could. eg utility bills, phone bills, insurance costs etc. We reduced fuel bill by lift sharing with colleagues where we could.

When I then returned to work it didn't feel like a struggle financially because we had been living on the budget for a while.


As someone else said, it means sacrifices, and we can not afford to go on holiday and our house with a 2nd one on the way is too small really, but it isn't forever....and we will adjust to being a bit cramped... when DS1 goes to school it will free up some extra income and perhaps we can look at getting a bigger house then.

Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much,too soon. It appears there is a lot of pressure to have your own house, for it to be big and lovely, nice car etc, to have a career and to have children before a certain age and I'm not sure I believe it to be possible to do all of it at the same time!

mumOf2wonderfulkids

ironman1 wrote: »

At the moment I worked out we have about six hundred a month 'spare' after mortgage, bills, travel etc. Thats without a car. We currently overpay our mortgage by a few hundred a month so there is money there. Obviously if we had about fifty quid left over a month we wouldn't even be thinking about it

after all our bills come out we have about £500 spare a month, 2 kids and don't overpay our mortgage and have 2 cars

pigpen

ironman1 wrote: »

To the person who had three kids and only the husband worked, difference is times have obviously changed or he is on 40k plus a year surely? Certainly not possible for someone with an average wage.

I do building work but not a job where I can do private work and the hours have and will always be pay 8-5 monday to friday...

he was bringing home £95 a week when we had the 3 children and now gets £28K a year

ironman1

Well the replies I've been able to read have made me feel more confident about things I have to say.

I hope I haven't come across as one of those people who moans about the benefit grabbers. I've never really thought about it untill we properly discussed having a baby.

Has anyone here not got a car but has a kid? If we can avoid buying one I'd love to but it must be nearly impossible with a baby...

donnaessex

My friends live in London too with a baby and dont have a car. I couldnt be without mine if I'm honest but lots of people manage it.

3onitsway

When I had my first we were 25 with a mortgage and both working full time. We were lucky enough to have family to do the childcare. After a year of working full time and never seeing my son in daylight I swapped to an evening job 25 hours a week, 5-10pm Monday to Friday. So I had DS during the day, and OH took over at night.

Then no.2 came along and I stayed at the evening job, OH working during the day.

Then when No.1 and No.2 were at school, I went to working during the day, in school hours, and was lucky enough to get a term time job so again, no need for childcare.

Now, No.3 is a year old and i've given up work until she starts school. Working my part time/term time contract doesn't pay enough to cover childcare, and we can manage on OH's wages. We probably won't be having exotic holidays or flash new cars for a few years, but we'll manage.


It is possible to do, you just have to be prepared to juggle a lot, and swap/change jobs to ones that fit around your family.

I think if everyone waited until they thought they could afford children, there'd be a serious lack of children in the world. :rotfl:

ottytotty

ironman1 wrote: »

Well the replies I've been able to read have made me feel more confident about things I have to say.

I hope I haven't come across as one of those people who moans about the benefit grabbers. I've never really thought about it untill we properly discussed having a baby.

Has anyone here not got a car but has a kid? If we can avoid buying one I'd love to but it must be nearly impossible with a baby...

When we had our first I didn't have a car and we live in the countyside so its certainly not impossible (managed for 3 years without one) will be even easier if you are on a town.
Also my husband only earned 18K when we had our first and we only got the basic child tax credit (around £10/week) and then child benefit that everyone gets. We managed fine paying our mortgage but we didn't have enough for any holidays, phone landline, internet connection etc so I guess it depends on what is importnt to you. HTH and good luck