Husband left me

Rikki

I would be concerned about money for the mortgage, bills and food etc. You both have access to the bank accounts. I would familiarize your self with the anount you need to cover these and the dates they are due.

From experience my ex opened a new bank account into which his wages were paid and I suddenly found myself responsible for everything. A nasty experience.
I'm not saying it will happen to you but its something you need to consider.

Emmzi

Annie,

although it's difficult right now, you need to focus on your financial security. Start by listing all assets and debts. House, cars, what's in the bank, investments, pension fund,endowment policies. Your solicitor,whom I agree you should engage asap, will need this kind of info; as well as loans, mortgage, etc.

Why does he want his name off bank accounts? Are there debit balances? Do you need to talk to the bank to make sure you have enough cash to get by, and he can't wipe you out financially?

Do you have a seperate bank account with emergency money for you?

Take care.

xx

Murtle

Big hugs, you're not a sad old discarded fool. However, what you are is broaching on the start of a new and exciting adventure. It'll be somewhat like a rollercoaster ride so hold on tight, and remember that there will be ups and downs, but at the end you'll be sitting there laughing remembering the fun bits only.

Glad you have a friend with you, how are your children taking it? Do they have anyone to support them, at the moment a lot of your energy will be supporting yourself and getting your mind in order. They may also need a friendly ear.

Get a good solicitor, I like the previous advise of finding someone who dislikes your ex! And find out all you need to know

Big hugs for now though
x x

Bargain_Annie

Emmzi wrote:

Annie,

yes i have set up my own account and taken money out of joint account to tide me over but i just dont know what will happen next. he earns 3 1/2 times what i do and i cant afford to pay mortgage never mind anything else. Solicitor says he has to keep us at the level we are at but who knows

Bargain_Annie

Murtle wrote:

how long does it take for the pain,hurt,shock,humiliation to go away?and on top of that to get your mind straight to deal with broken harted children who say dad wont leave us penniless- well sorry girls he's trying to make your mother responsible for everything

dont know what to do with myself

friend has left now but on mission to find fab divorce lawyer

honey28

As someone who has unfortunately been in same situation I just wanted to say my thoughts are with you. Be strong because you will need your strength to get through it. Let him see that you are strong - even if you feel that you arent. Once the initial adrenalin rush passes he will realise that he will miss you more that you miss him - you still have 2 of the most important things in his life - his children. The advice on here is right - get a solicitor as soon as possible. Dont agree to anything with him. Ok, he walked out but if he wants back for anything (to see kids, clothes, bank books etc) he has to abide by your rules now - he left his rights to walk in and out when he left. Ask him for the keys back - that alone will shock him!
Take each day as it comes, cry when you need to, shout when you need to -you will soon reach the angry stage.

There is light at the end of the tunnel - and you will come through it a stronger person.

Stay strong

cboo

You just have to give yourself some time and look after yourself and your children.

Am very sorry and big hugs to you :grouphug:

You will feel better soon, but you need time

elona

Don't ask for his keys back - change the locks.

If he objects - point out that he was acting so uncharacteristically that you were worried who could get hold of the keys.

tryituwilllikeit

take care i wish you well

Horasio

Bargain_Annie wrote:

yes,want me to let him take his name off bank accounts,but I have said no.that was today but last night told me wanted to do right by kids. he earns 3 1/2 times what i do and wants to leave me liable for the lot. He is a solicitor though!

No No No - he knows he can't leave you with you and your children without finance.

He can't have it all

Get an even better lawyer to represent you and get what is fair