Advice re. my irritation

Raggs_2

Zimm190 wrote: »

Granted my bottom does indeed touch the seat but it's my hands that concern me....I don't tend to touch much else with my bottom! All I can do is wash my hands thoroughly but it's annoying that the toilet seat would be down if a man hadn't put it up.

I know it doesn't bother some women but for me....yuk!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7377002.stm

If not much but your bottom touches the toilet seat, why are you worried? I guess your OH's bottom touches it too, but still. It's just bottoms on the seat, and your bottom is probably cleaner than your hands on average. The seat is up when he pees. Now if he was to be lazy, leaves the seat down, and pees, I can understand why you wouldn't want to touch the seat. But rejoice, your OH kindly lifts the seat before peeing .

But still, it's your neurosis and therefore should be your problem, not the OH's .

Zimm190

Nooooo, please don't, I already know about the keyboard thing, I'm going to get OCD at this rate! It's all linked to my severe vomit phobia, food poisoning and bugs could come from anywhere :-(

Redman30

shaven-monkey wrote: »

You levitate over the seat while you're using the loo?

My female friend does this on any public or work loo seat she has to use (only to pee though, the other function has to wait till she gets home) - it seems like it would hurt after a while to me though!

My own take which is likely wrong since I'm a fella (hehe), is that blokes leave it up because then it's functional for them - women want it down because that's how a loo should look, not necessarily because its functional for them that way, it looks untidy up.

Have to admit if the seat lid's down at work I'll use my shoe to open it, and always wipe down public/work loos with paper first. Couldn't imagine hovering though, imagine the impact :P

January20

joyfull wrote: »

It's things like - when he has to have the last word, needs to be right all the time, forgets things I've told him over & over, obsesses about his health - it's this kind of stuff.

I do feel guilty about being intolerant - I never realised that I did though.

It's all a horrible feeling inside & I want to be free of it. I feel I'm wasting our time together by letting this stuff simmer on.

What's wrong with being irritated by these things? I would be irritated too if he had to have the last word whatever (Why does he need to always have the last word?) , if he was to be right even if he was wrong (Can't he accept that sometimes he might be wrong?) , if he forgot what I told him too as he is not a child (Is what you are saying not important enough? he is absent minded?).

I would only get irritated if he over-obsessed about his health.

But then I don't suffer fool gladly so... perhpas better ignore me

Steel_2

I've always found that when I'm being irritated by my husband it's because he's not conforming to my standards for doing something. I'm a perfectionist and given half a chance it gets out of control. Unless it is something really horrid, like dropping food on the floor and leaving it or trying to get car engine parts ensconced on my hearth rug, I take deep breath and ask myself if it really is a big deal or me being a perfectionist.

He does so much all the time for me that I try and cut him some slack.

I like the loos seat down and hubby puts it down. I once read it was bad Feng Shui to leave the loo seat up as it's considered that family fortunes are lost this way. Money and good chi will literally be flushed down the loo.

tabskitten

I am very much the same!!
I spend all day at work missing my OH, then the first thing i do when i see him is snap at him or push him off when he tries to greet me?!?
then i feel guilty which makes me worse!
He tries to help out by washing up- i get cross as he is too slow....
He asks if he can get me something- I snap that i know where things are and am capable of getting them myself!!
I am a little cowbag sometimes!
But heaven forbid should he ever not get up to give me a kiss when i walk in- he didn't once and i flipping flipped!!
But i KNOW that i am like it and i ALWAYS apologize. I often wonder WHY i do it though- its like some kind of separation anxiety?
Because honestly I love him so much- and it kills me to see that i have hurt him- believe me my tongue can be sharp sometimes....

bertiebots

Steel wrote: »

I like the loos seat down and hubby puts it down. I once read it was bad Feng Shui to leave the loo seat up as it's considered that family fortunes are lost this way. Money and good chi will literally be flushed down the loo.

At last I know the reason why we never have any money:eek::rotfl: with 3 males in the house the seat spends a long time left up!.


In reply to OP my dh drives me crazy sometimes and I find it really hard to let things go....but I know in the great scheme of things a lot of these quirks/habbits etc are not hugely important individually.
One thing that I find really hard is him forgetting things...he forgets some quite important stuff and I cant decide if its just a man thing or him iyswim. We have been together 17 years I still havent figured that one out.

belfastgirl23

What kind of stuff does he forget?

Forgetting to pick up milk - liveable with though irritating

Forgetting to pick up children - ok that's worth having a row over.

Where on this scale does he come??

bertiebots

My dh forgets dates...birthdays -even mine,the kids and their ages. Anniversaries (he forgot our first -i was gutted). He forgets things we have done as a family and things he has said he will do, he forgets he has asked me stuff and asks again an hour later!....actually his memory is getting so bad that I am starting to seriously worry about him. But I dont know if it just annoys me more these days ,or it has actually got worse!

Joyfull do you feel he isnt listening to you? I sometimes wonder if this is why my dh "forgets"......because he never listened in the first place!

Raggs_2

See as a 26 year old male, who recently had a birthday, I can assure you I would have forgotten it, had no one reminded me.

It's not that I don't remember the date itself, it's just no little alarm bells go off in my head as it grows closer, it's just another day. I know my dads birthday and can remember my mums usually, same with OH, but those days could easily come and go without anything triggering.

And as a slight confession I have to say a few of the things I forget are because I wasn't listening properly in the first place. Though I suspect that this could partially be because I'm being informed of them whilst busy doing other things, whilst being expected to be listening and remembering.

If it's something very important, get him into a habit of making little notes on his phone with alarms. That way, half an hour before (or whatever is suitable) his phone goes off reminding him. That's how I make sure the important things don't get forgotten (often merely the act of inputting the alarm fixes it in my memory so I don't need the alarm anymore).