Love but not in Love

Emmzi

gibboking,

I do a lot of work away from home and it is PANTS. I am exhausted when I get home, have lived off revolting hotel food or pot noodles for a week and so have no energy, and am really not the person I want to be. Plus, after a week being 'worky', my b/fs enthusiasm at seeing me is more than I can cope with - I need time to switch into being 'home' me. I can only imagine how much wirse that is when you need to be 'daddy' the minute you're through the door, and I can well understand the need for 'alone' time eg fishing. The longer you do it, the more you resent travelling for the cash, and the more down you become.

Maybe a change of job, if you can help by searching for something more locl when he is away, would help. (Job hunting is also exhausting. Maybe he could do his cv and let you take care of writing in??)

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Commenting only on the money that's owed to you. 8 pups @£300 = £2400
New carpets and fishing tackle = £1000. Total £3,400 that you've missed out on because your inlaws are taking the mickey out of you and you're being a doormat and letting them walk all over you. I know this sounds harsh, but it's the reality.

Sit down with your OH and sort out how your inlaws are going to pay back the money they owe you, at a reasonable rate. Then get it down on paper and all of you sign it. Your inlaws should understand that if they miss payments you'll take them to County Court. Now that does sound harsh, doesn't it. But it's not as harsh as they are being, !!!!lessly standing idly by when they know you're struggling.

edit: the MSE software has replaced some letters in a word I've used so it appears that it thinks it was a swear word - it wasn't. I wrote f.e.c.k.lessly (without the full stops).

squibbs25

I am so glad you feel a lot more positive this morning gibboking.
Hang in there, i'm sure it will all work out in the end.

The issue of the in-laws MUST be addressed, rather than tell him what you think, ask him his opinion, you might be shocked by his response. If that doesnt work, tell him they are his parents and his problem, and he's not to expect you put yourself out by visiting them until its resolved. Or maybe a bit of emotional blackbail, visit them, tell MIL that you cant afford to put food on the table and that lo needs bits, If MIL sees that its having a direct affect on lo, she might cough up a lot more.

Let us know how you are getting on, you have a lot of supprt on this board!


squibbs

hobo28

Why don't you both sit down one weekend and make a list of things which are bothering you. Then between you prioritise them. Pick the top 2 or 3 to work on. Helps you focus on what is a dealbreaker and things which are merely annoyances.

If your struggling financially then his parents taking the mickey won't help and it needs to be dealt with. Especially when they are buying new stuff all the time!!!! Its your husband's duty to stand up for you both here. If you didn't need the money then its another matter. He needs to be VERY blunt with them.

Zoetoes

Has the spark really been gone for ages or is it just at the moment? Do you think maybe you're just feeling fed up with life and stuck in a rut? You could probably do with getting out a bit to take the pressure off.

Sometimes I feel like that, I've been with my OH for 8 years & at times have felt like the spark has gone but at the moment it's still there!