From Trash to Cash: the Dribble continues

moneymabel

Right ribbon has arrived I should be able to finish one unmentionable now! I'm off to get sewing...and to probably eat the rest of the choccie cheesecake in the fridge....diet starts next week after my birthday :-)

nixinixi

Hey all! Mabel - I am not sure as far as h&S goes, I thought it was only if you were making the sweets that you had to jump (understandably) through hoops, reselloing no issues but yurs is a bit different. Laugjhing at though of conversation with Trading Standards or whoever it is that woud know the answer:

Mabel: "Hi, I wonder if ou cold help me, I want to make ediible merkins could you tell me what regulations I need to follow?

T S Man: "What is an edible merkin?

Mabel: "er, its a sweet covered merkin to cover up clean shaven lady parts..."

T S Man: " Oh er, let me find out for you...."


That doesn't do it justice (why I write Pres Releases not scripts!) but, can you imagine the look on the TS man's face!!???

MummyandPaige

ok, thankyou, firstly.

I am really sorry I offend anyone with this to start with, I know not everyone is the same as her, but I am really struggling here.
OH has a son, he is 8 and lives with his mother on the worst council estate where we used to live. He had a fling with her in his young and single days and the result was his DS. We hardly ever get to see him unless we pay for the privelege, and she is can't find anyone else to look after him while she goes off and does god knows what. She has 3 kids, all diff dads and is currently dating someone she met on the internet that lives on the other side of the country. They agreed a long time ago that £25 a week would cover things that he needed, although she was always phoning up and saying she didn't have money for school clothes, new shoes, food etc, so we always ending up giving her more, (mainly because she would say, you can't see him if you don't pay for such and such). Two years ago, we decided to play it a new way after hearing the sob story and forking out, then finding her in the local night club spending the money, so from then on, everytime she said he needed something, we bought it for him and gave it to her. She didn't like it and decided to contact the CSA, who said we were overpaying her, he wasn't working at the time, only I was, so all the money was coming out of my pay. She then thought that our original arrangement was a good idea and told the CSA we had come to an agreement, so they stopped writing to us.
We got a letter 2 days ago saying that they were going to take OH to court for non-payment of Maintanance for the last 2 years and when we phoned them, they said that as we didn't have a receipt from his mum, we didn't have a leg to stand on, to top it all off, she has told CSA that we own a boat (technically we don't as it is morgaged to the hilt to pay for it) and that we earn more than we said we do. So he is now under investigation. They also said that it doesn't matter that it is mortgaged, they can still take it if we don't pay in full what we owe and that is 30% of all of his pay for every month for the last 2 years, so I am having to run off 2 years worth of pay slips to send to them.
The thing is, now we are living here and the boat is doig well, the last 6 months, would have worked out at more than £25 a week, all of our spare cash is going to the bailliffs to stop them taking what little we have, and they are taking £300 a month, the loan on the boat is £380 a month and we have next to nothing left at the end of the month to buy anything for the kids or do anything. We have lived the last year with absolutely no furniture other than beds upstairs, we only have a sofa and a dining table downstairs because that way when people come over they can't see the extent of the troubles we are having and now this. When we tried to explain this to the CSA, they sais they didn't care about what outgoings we had, that was our problem, they were still going to take 30%, that even includes 30% of the tax credits we get.
I am ready to throw in the towel now, OH is working 16+ hour days 6-7 days a week to try and get us out of this mess and it is still not enough. Either way I am screwed, if I scrape together as much as I can for the CSA, then the bailliffs don't get paid and we loose what little we have and if I pay the bailliffs then I can't afford the CSA and they come and take what little we have and put OH in court to boot, he is on a suspended sentence at the moment, so he will go straight to prison and I will be left to deal with it all on my own.
This is why I was cussing the fish tank ,he earned over £1200 in a week, it was only 1 week, but after all the work he put in I couldn't say now and he did put £600 towards the bills, but if he hadn't then maybe we would have had the reserves to cover this.
I am just so sick of her screwing us out of money, the year before last, Paiges first xmas, she asked to borrow off us, £480 to pay the final installment on the trip to disneyland for DS and her and her other 2 kids, we told her it was our Xmas money and she promised we could have it 2 days later when she got her tax credits, so we gave it to her, we couldn't get hold of her for the next month, appartently he had a lovely holiday ,which is more than could be said for us, we had no money for anything that year, Paige got our last £20 and that was all we had.
I am at my wits end, there is nothing I can do to make anything better or easier and either way it is my 2 kids that loose out. But as the CSA said, they live with OH so it is not their problem.

MummyandPaige

oops, sorry big essay, off to go get DD1 and clean up face, I look like a train wreck now.

nolongerindenial

moneymabel wrote: »

Morning NLID merkins are fine thanks :-) just waiting for more merkin making materials to arrive lol
How are you ?

Oooh yes good luck MummyandP!!

on one of those days I wish would end already!

I still need to sort out my office, still need to pack all my ebay parcels to pack from friday finishes and still need to finish web development work for a couple of clients. On top of this, I need to finish the SEO Book I am writing and a couple of websites I am using to showcase my skill.

And then back to the debt busting if I have any time left

But other than that I am in good spirits and happy to be making progress with everything, including my debt reduction plan, currently 7.67% paid off but intend to ebay a lot of stuff we have identified as not being needed in the house.

And the 10k challenge should hopefully produce me a lot of money to pay off the debts that have been a noose around my neck

what about you?

nolongerindenial

MummyandPaige wrote: »

ok, thankyou, firstly.

I am really sorry I offend anyone with this to start with, I know not everyone is the same as her, but I am really struggling here.
OH has a son, he is 8 and lives with his mother on the worst council estate where we used to live. He had a fling with her in his young and single days and the result was his DS. We hardly ever get to see him unless we pay for the privelege, and she is can't find anyone else to look after him while she goes off and does god knows what. She has 3 kids, all diff dads and is currently dating someone she met on the internet that lives on the other side of the country. They agreed a long time ago that £25 a week would cover things that he needed, although she was always phoning up and saying she didn't have money for school clothes, new shoes, food etc, so we always ending up giving her more, (mainly because she would say, you can't see him if you don't pay for such and such). Two years ago, we decided to play it a new way after hearing the sob story and forking out, then finding her in the local night club spending the money, so from then on, everytime she said he needed something, we bought it for him and gave it to her. She didn't like it and decided to contact the CSA, who said we were overpaying her, he wasn't working at the time, only I was, so all the money was coming out of my pay. She then thought that our original arrangement was a good idea and told the CSA we had come to an agreement, so they stopped writing to us.
We got a letter 2 days ago saying that they were going to take OH to court for non-payment of Maintanance for the last 2 years and when we phoned them, they said that as we didn't have a receipt from his mum, we didn't have a leg to stand on, to top it all off, she has told CSA that we own a boat (technically we don't as it is morgaged to the hilt to pay for it) and that we earn more than we said we do. So he is now under investigation. They also said that it doesn't matter that it is mortgaged, they can still take it if we don't pay in full what we owe and that is 30% of all of his pay for every month for the last 2 years, so I am having to run off 2 years worth of pay slips to send to them.
The thing is, now we are living here and the boat is doig well, the last 6 months, would have worked out at more than £25 a week, all of our spare cash is going to the bailliffs to stop them taking what little we have, and they are taking £300 a month, the loan on the boat is £380 a month and we have next to nothing left at the end of the month to buy anything for the kids or do anything. We have lived the last year with absolutely no furniture other than beds upstairs, we only have a sofa and a dining table downstairs because that way when people come over they can't see the extent of the troubles we are having and now this. When we tried to explain this to the CSA, they sais they didn't care about what outgoings we had, that was our problem, they were still going to take 30%, that even includes 30% of the tax credits we get.
I am ready to throw in the towel now, OH is working 16+ hour days 6-7 days a week to try and get us out of this mess and it is still not enough. Either way I am screwed, if I scrape together as much as I can for the CSA, then the bailliffs don't get paid and we loose what little we have and if I pay the bailliffs then I can't afford the CSA and they come and take what little we have and put OH in court to boot, he is on a suspended sentence at the moment, so he will go straight to prison and I will be left to deal with it all on my own.
This is why I was cussing the fish tank ,he earned over £1200 in a week, it was only 1 week, but after all the work he put in I couldn't say now and he did put £600 towards the bills, but if he hadn't then maybe we would have had the reserves to cover this.
I am just so sick of her screwing us out of money, the year before last, Paiges first xmas, she asked to borrow off us, £480 to pay the final installment on the trip to disneyland for DS and her and her other 2 kids, we told her it was our Xmas money and she promised we could have it 2 days later when she got her tax credits, so we gave it to her, we couldn't get hold of her for the next month, appartently he had a lovely holiday ,which is more than could be said for us, we had no money for anything that year, Paige got our last £20 and that was all we had.
I am at my wits end, there is nothing I can do to make anything better or easier and either way it is my 2 kids that loose out. But as the CSA said, they live with OH so it is not their problem.

I really feel for the situation you are in right now, and know that nothing I can say or do will make it better, but it sometimes helps to know someone has read and is sympathetic to your case.

If it helps I know of someone who works in the CSA, and she absolutely hates her job to the point she is in tears at what she has to do every single day.

jo70mo

MummyandP really glad you told us.It sounds like such a weight and a terrible situation to be in. need to read your post a bit more to digest it but just wanted to say. I don't think anyone will be offended. no 2 situations are the same.
lots and lots of hugs.
Jo x

sheloveshimsomuch

(((((hugs))))) |I really dont know what to say but surely this cant be right? They cant expect you to give them money you dont have?
I can however b!tch and moan all day long about exes- we have to pay OH's ex £450 per month child support for 1 child:eek::eek:
I am on msn is you want to talk on there xxx

mambury

right M&P... first things first. Pack yourself off to the CAB and explain the whole thing. I don't have any experience of the CSA but my BIL does. As far as I am aware they can take x% of income regardless of your outgoings. However, the boat is a business expense and I would tell them that if they took the boat then they would get nothing.

Sounds like you need a ((((BIG HUG)))).

get together as much evidence as possible and take a trip to the CAB.

DO NOT GIVE /LEND THE OTHER MUM ANY MORE MONEY. If she wants to go through the CSA then fine, but it will affect her benefits (if she is on them) so she won't gain at the end of the day.

Now, your OH might have earnt £1200 in one week, but fishing is seaonal... Will he earn that every week? I doubt it so they can't base their claim on that figure alone. I would guess that they can only base their figures on his tax return. I didn't think they could touch your Tax credits, but I might be wrong.

have a look at this... you know your figures better than anyone...
https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

If your OH wants access to the child then I would recommend getting a court order. I have no sympathy with single parents who expect the other parent to pay for access to their child and as far as I know the courts do not look favourably on it either.

I hope that helps....
Oh, might be worth posting on the Family / benefit boards as there might be people in a similar situation that can help.

Well, got nothing done this morning as I had to go to the docs. I have had a dodgy cough and been struggling to breath for nearly a week now. I had to see the nurse as the only doc on duty is incompetent and I refuse to see him. She thinks I have developed asthma....:(

Off to get some work done before I pick the DD up...

See you later!

nixinixi

OMG Mummy P - really big hugs! xx

I think that needed to be an essay. I was about to go and finalise Mabels Press release but couldn't read and run.

Seriously you need legal advice and my first port of call would be CAB. The CSA are only going to tell you their side of the story and they are basing all their info on what that horrid woman has told them. Have you got any way of proving the money you have given/items you have paid for? Bank statements, credit card statements, shop recipts? If so try and gather as much together as you can and take that with you to CAB.

They should have on record that you came to a persoanl arrangement two years ago so you only need to go back 2 years. (I say only lightly knowing it is still a huge amount of work and pressure on you, but I had to go back 7 years through everything for my dad once!)

I think your OH needs to be doing more and take some of the pressure opff your shoulders. Sorry oif this sounds harsh but surely if you are struggling this much then no way he should have been buying a new fish tank despite a good week - and he should know this it isn't fair on you.

My only other thought is do you have a solicitor near you that has a free half hour consultation? Sometimes a solicitors letter can nip everything inthe bud as they know how to deal with it.

But first of all - make yourself a cuppa and take a deep breathm this can and will all get sorted. It will take work from you unfortunately but you will get through this. I know you can't seethe light at the end of the tunnel but it will reappear very soon.

A few years ago I discovered my dad had had his house repossesed, and had been made bankrupt and was living in his car about to commit suicide. By talking to the parties (basically begging for help - which they all gave) involved we managaed to get the house back so we could sell it for a profit, so we could pay off all the creditors ourselves and got the bankruptcy annuled, and, (apart from the stroke) life is now good for him again. It can be done.

You are not on your own you have all of us to offer any advice we can and be a shoulder to cry on.

Now go get a cuppa, and then first step go and find out where your nearest CAB is.

Hugs xx