Mission:Control - MinnieSpender's DFW diary

**purpleprincess**

You go girl!! :beer: xx

MinnieSpender

Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man,
Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he drove the baker's van.
He tempted her with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread,
And when she seen the size of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head*

Second interview this morning for the other job. Oh dear. Not impressed. I do worry about folk who exhibit no sense of humour - even in an interview situation. I felt as if I was fighting a losing battle from the minute I stepped into the building. It was especially concerning when I was shown into the [STRIKE]interrogation[/STRIKE] interview room and then a light was shone into my face. I could barely see the three people facing me, but I knew they weren't nice. I was not so much grilled as plunged into a deep fat fryer.

But Benny still wants me to work for him!

OK - time to think about this. I hate working for a living anyway. Could I survive in an atmosphere where smiling is punishable by thumbscrews? Or could I dust off my saxophone and practice the Benny Hill theme over the weekend while chasing strange men around the park in double-quick fashion?

There may still be a third option, however. The nice but poorly paid agency rang this morning with a job for me - but only part-time. I couldn't afford to take it, but they will keep looking for me.

Full-time nice work is coming easily to me.
Full-time nice work is coming easily to me.
Full-time nice work is coming easily to me.

*Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West) - Benny Hill

ZTD

MinnieSpender wrote:

But Benny still wants me to work for him!

Perhaps he wants you to be his sense of humour?

MinnieSpender wrote:

OK - time to think about this. I hate working for a living anyway. Could I survive in an atmosphere where smiling is punishable by thumbscrews?

How long is this for?

MinnieSpender

ZTD wrote:

Perhaps he wants you to be his sense of humour?

Well, Benny is not from the humourless company, but still lacking in laughs, I feel. Problem is, if you have a GSOH and other people don't, you're doomed anyway. They either lock you up, or don't take you seriously. And I'm sure I've proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am extremely zerious.

ZTD wrote:

How long is this for?

It's a permanent job. It could be for 25+ years. By which time I'll be a dried up old hag - with no thumbs.

ZTD

MinnieSpender wrote:

Well, Benny is not from the humourless company, but still lacking in laughs, I feel. Problem is, if you have a GSOH and other people don't, you're doomed anyway. They either lock you up, or don't take you seriously.

This is true, but also one person with zeal can change the culture of a company. His persistance could possibly be a sign that he does take you seriously though. Can I assume you proved in the interview your GSOH?

MinnieSpender wrote:

And I'm sure I've proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am extremely zerious.

Indeed.

MinnieSpender wrote:

It's a permanent job. It could be for 25+ years.

Well since it's not fixed term, you can cruise along in that job, looking for others. If they ask why you're leaving so soon, just point out they have the laughter capacity of a roasted badger's scrotum.

MinnieSpender wrote:

By which time I'll be a dried up old hag - with no thumbs.

I know I'm probably going to regret asking this - but why no thumbs?

MinnieSpender

ZTD wrote:

I know I'm probably going to regret asking this - but why no thumbs?

Due to the repeated application of thumbscrews as a punishment for smiling/laughing/cracking jokes/wearing brightly coloured clothing/having a life.

LookingAhead

Minnie my darling, it's Ray here.

Have you ever been out of an evening with people who have no sense of humour? Or not much of a sense of humour?

If you have you will remember how badly you wanted to get home and clean the shower tiles grout, the oven....anything....rather than be there.

And that was just one evening.

Now you're a clever young thing...you can work the rest out....

MinnieSpender

Oh, Ray, I know you're right.

But here's the problem. I need to get back to work asap. I don't want either of these two jobs. I do want to be debt free. They both pay fairly well. The Badly Paid But Nice Jobs Agency are still to find me full-time work for next week, but it will be temporary. But I'd take it.

So, fingers crossed that I get a call tomorrow/Friday.

On a hopeful note, I got my hardship form from college today - with a bit of luck they'll offer me a grant towards my course fees - every little helps and I should find out by the end of August.

MinnieSpender

Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties, oh yeah
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties, oh yeah
On your marks - get set - go!*

The phone has been quiet all day (shh! no shouting! you'll wake it up!). The Spanish Inquisition obviously haven't made a firm decision yet (they'll be on the phone to the Pope, no doubt) but Benny has written to me! How nice of him. As the Nice But Poorly Paid Agency have also been quiet all day, looks like Benny gets me on Monday. Forever. Poor chap.

Managed to shift myself around mid day and take some of my shrapnel to the bank to pay into the Going to College Fund. And AQA sent me an email with a questionnaire - not as easy as it looked! I hope they like my answers - it might be the only fun work I get this month.

My wage slip for the temp work I did last week hasn't arrived so I'm in panic until tomorrow in case they've forgotten to put me on the payroll.

And finally, I managed to hit [STRIKE]Muscle Beach[/STRIKE] the gym again today. Did the lying down on the bike routine and pumped some iron. If my upper arms don't ache tomorrow, I'll be severely dischuffed.

Didn't win the lottery last night. Am feeling a bit desperate.

Anyone fancy a Tangfastic? Before I scoff the lot?

*Bicycle Race - Queen

jessicamb

Hi Minnie

I love the theme songs.

I hope the evil taskmasters arent so bad once you get there. Dont forget to practice the double quick walking this weekend before you start