I Just Cant Take Any More

overbudget

Tiff wrote:

Yes littlejaffa, there are many people as you describe on here in that situation & I'm one of them!
In my opinion, posts like yours deter people like me from wanting to open up. There's a huge difference between having an opinion and being insulting. I'm new here but I have seen the warmth that's extended to people in trouble. If someone posted that to my threads, I would have receded back into the shadows. Inspite of her problems, Lynz is still posting help for others! You are entitled to your own philosophy but with that comes the burden of responsibility.
Still at least we know the response you will prefer when you post a problem.....
Hope all is well Lynz - we're all behind you

Hear hear. Lynz stands out on these forums as being one of those who is always supporting others without ever being judgemental - in my book that gives her the right to have a moan when she needs to. It is irrelevant whether or not there are others "worse off" (didn't realise it was a competition anyway - your problems only matter if they are worse than anyone else's??! b*ll**ks!). This is about a valued member of this community being down and needing our support.

Lynz - hope things are picking up for you. Take care.

tesuhoha

littlejaffa wrote:

I really don't see how you offering personal comments about me, when telling me i shouldn't offer honest opinion on another makes you any better.
I think self pity when there realy is no great issue is really offensive to those who have genuine problems, not of their own doing and out of their own control. I'm sure there are many people on here in that situation.

I have however learned my lesson, this is a site only for agreeing and supporting self pity and anyone who disagress will be subject to personal opinion and swearing.

I know Lynz is on holiday and so cant defend herself. I dont think you get it. This site is not for agreeing and supporting self pity and I havent sworn at you. On this site basically people should be allowed to have a rant because their problems (however minor they may seem to others) would otherwise prey on their mind and eat away at them. Therefore, although Lynz's problems may seem minor to you, to Lynz they are a source of great distress and worry. It is for that reason that people are reacting the way they are to you, because your criticism may in the future prevent Lynz or someone else from having their say.It could result in someone bottling up their feelings. Things that worry people are not always absolutely desperate problems. Most worries are (and Im not talking about Lynz's problems here) temporary and minor but at the time we feel like airing them and they take up our thoughts. I would never call Lynz self pitying. We talk to our friends on here and tell them how we're getting on and receive useful advice and you're quite welcome to join in with the chat but please dont call it self pitying because lots of people have diaries and its general progress and miseries and all kinds of worries. There is no reason to criticise this kind of thing because if you look its on lots of other threads too and people are looking for support and friendship more than anything else.

tesuhoha

By the way littlejaffa, if you go back and read Lynz's other posts about her health problems, I dont think even you will be able to say that her problems are not genuine, not of her own doing and out of her own control.

dave318

Got to agree with all the other posters. I read littlejaffa (obviously no smashing orangey bit) last night and coudn't actually believe what I was reading. OH left his job, (which was obviously stressful) so just get rid of him. If that was the case this would be the the DFW & SC. (Debt Free Wannabe and Singles Club). I can just see some divorce lawyers rubbing their hands in glee. "Excellent, there are loads of people in debt so they should all be getting divorced soon."
Difficult relationships too tough for you Jaffa?
I found out I was £33000 in debt one month and met my "now" wife a month later. I was honest with her from the start, but she never got up and left, but helped me through it.

As for saying just get on with it, there are people worse off than you. That is not the point of this place. There are people on here with over £100,000 of debt, (£750,000 in one instance). If someone comes along worried about being £2-3000 in debt, do you think we would all turn round and say "Don't worry about it, there are people worse off than you, just get on with it."
Didn't think so.
We are supposed to help each other. That helps nobody. In the time that it has taken to write this, I could have tried to help, or just comfort someone else.

tesuhoha

Also, littlejaffa, you say that you dont like personal comments but I thought some of your comments were personal and it was not very nice of you to tell Lynz to take a one way flight.

Tiff_2

My pain is my pain, your pain is your pain and Lynz's pain is her pain - no-one has the right to say that their pain is worse than anyone elses. Whether you're £2,000, £10,000 or £100,000 in debt, it becomes irrelevant when you're facing eviction or you don't know where the next meal's coming from & you can't see a way out.
I'm not sure why you're posting here if you have the answers to everything, as that's how you came across. Carrying a big stick can do more harm than good.
What's commendable is the way people on this forum have politely listened to your statements without being malicious in any way. You are so entitled to a view - just don't complain when you get other people's views in return!

kathfisch

Tiff wrote:

You are so entitled to a view - just don't complain when you get other people's views in return!

:T Well said Tiff, a good point very well made! :T

Why is it that, when a user is criticised for their negative and unhelpful comments, they always respond with 'well, I didn't realise I wasn't allowed to have an opinion, all you want is people who agree with you' etc etc?!?!

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, including those of us who are of the opinion that your manner is not appropriate! Your opinion, that there are people worse off than lynz in the world, I can't refute. But your manner of stating your opinion, and telling lynz to take a one way flight, that's not acceptable.

in my opinion :rolleyes:

I do wish people wouldn't hide behind 'freedom of speech' in order to avoiding justifying their words :mad:

I hope lynz is having a great time away and feeling much better for it!

lynzpower

thank s to all who have been supportive.

Littlejaffa. You know a grand total of sod all about my situation apart from what I have written up here. I will say though My OH is not a violent person, neither am i.
You know nothing about what processes are or are not in place for my OH, in fact the balance of objectives said that in fact there was nothing that we could have done on it, having consulted the legislation and n liasion with the temp agency. We made the decision together, and I for one firmly believe it was the right thing to do.

You note that I started this thread some days ago, when I really did feel like things could not get any worse. Incidentally things are pretty f-ing bad, but of course they can get worse. I have always counted my blessings, daily, and will do till the day I die.

Everytime I log on i see this thread has been bumped by people adding well wishes. When I see it I do have a bit of an internal groan, as my mood has lifted sigificantly and I have never been one for dwelling longer than neccesary when there are more positive things to do.

I wont be taking a one way flight anywhere as my cancer investigations, my father in laws health deteriotations, and my future for now is here. Right here in fact, continuing to fight our difficlties as best as I can, and to be there for other people as I always have been in a productive and positive way.

I pray that no one finds themselves in the situation I find myself in, but when they do, I will be around as a listening ear and as a support to them, as they have to me and as I always have done. And intend always to be.

I am away at the moment, and have stolen a quick minute to have a look-in, and seen all I need to see for now.

See you all in a week or so

kathfisch

lynzpower wrote:

See you all in a week or so

Well said lynz!

Have a fab time away and don't think of us for one moment! I really hope you feel better when you're back but, whatever the situation, we'll still be here!

Kath x

ZTD

littlejaffa wrote:

I thought this was an honest and open place, it seems not.

littlejaffa wrote:

I really don't see how you offering personal comments about me, when telling me i shouldn't offer honest opinion on another makes you any better.

You're not feeling sorry for youself now are you? But being unable to take honest opinion despite being able to give it... is that in your control or not?
IMHO since this was because of something you did - and hence in your control. Thankfully someone offered this advice in that situation.

littlejaffa wrote:

I think self pity when there realy is no great issue is really offensive to those who have genuine problems, not of their own doing and out of their own control.

And a smear test is in your control because of....?

I would agree there are benign things that cause an abnormal smear. But there are also malign things that do. Your ability to medically diagnose people who you've never seen is truly tremendous. The NHS is saved! All hail!

littlejaffa wrote:

Perhaps if a person is only looking for responses that agree with them, or try to make them feel better, rather than the truth they should say so.

Or perhaps the "pls be nice to all MoneySavers!" above may give it away. Or perhaps people come on here looking for constructive advice, and consider that to be one of the underlying principles of the board?

littlejaffa wrote:

Again it was not clear to me that any post that didn't agree or offer pity would be asked not to post again

I often don't agree, and I often don't offer pity. As possibly you may have seen. In my defence I do offer constructive advice. Despite that, does that mean I can't post again?

littlejaffa wrote:

I have however learned my lesson, this is a site only for agreeing and supporting self pity and anyone who disagress will be subject to personal opinion and swearing.

You're not running away now are you? Somebody offered advice on that too.

littlejaffa wrote:

ps if your really thinking about running away, be a bit clever about it, a one way flight rather than a holdiay?