Further financial faux pas and even more disasterous decisions

honeybear_2

I like the use of the phrase "that is in need of modernisation"

It's pretty outside with the sun shining on it *searching for silver lining*

moo2moo

potential for a second bedroom with ingeneous use of a shoehorn?

Lula-Hula

Moo,

You know how I feel about your situation & the possible steps you could take to resolve it so I wont repeat myself.

Just one thought, it probably sounds bonkers & isnt what you'd immediately reach for when your drunken OH is in full flow but how about recording his rants, either with camcorder or even phone, then playing it back to him when sober, maybe even when others are there.

Maybe, just maybe, actually having to sit through one of his own rants while sober might just shame him into action.

Failing that I can happily provide you with many varieties of recipes that my ex ate on many occasions;

Felix shepherds pie, whiskas bolognese, pedigree chum pie ...

honeybear_2

Not sure about the road name, sweetie

makeup

What about renting? This might be a short term option while you work out what you want and where you can afford and would like to live?

I'm sending my very best vibes to you and hope you manage to work out what you want to do and that you manage to sort this out permanently.

Take care of yourself.

xx

Intergalactic_Floozie

Oh hun, not again. I wish there were something I could say that was useful and helpful but there's not, however, like the lovely FF said we care about you xx

KAMH

Oh my gosh, not again! Like all of the others, I am so sad for this awfulness.

One thing that occurs to me is; why should it be you that has to move? I like the idea, that someone suggested, of recording the rant, thought it means that you'd have to go through it again, and then playing it back to him and telling HIM to clear off! If you do manage to get a recording, you have ample grounds for a mental cruelty claim - although I appreciate that you wouldn't want your daughters to know more of this than they can't help hearing.

I often think that men get a raw deal when marriages fall apart but, in your case, you are getting the worst of raw deals from staying together!

I wish you much love and strength and wish that there was something I could do to help you get away from that part time monster.

x Karen

moo2moo

Morning all,

Thanks for the many suggestions.

Private rental is out of the question, its a huge student area and now is the time all next years intake are house hunting so price are sky high. A room in a shared student house is £400, private rentals are anywhere from £600 to £2500. They're nearly all in very densely populated areas or so outrageously huge its almost funny. Council housing is available but in an area called Caia Park which is so dire that the locals don't venture outdoors after dusk and those that do go armed with mace. Its not a place to raise kids or even let them outside without first checking the immediate area for used syringes which are randomly turfed over fences.

Spent much of yesterday outdoors with the DDs weeding and preparing an area of ground for DD2s vegetable seedlings which are enormous. Had rather more assistance than we'd have liked from a small wet and ultimately very muddy doggy. Hoping to get chance to plant things out this evening if it ever stops raining.

Need to rethink my day at work as everything I should have been doing is outdoors but its far too wet for that so instead will be putting my job creation head on and doing indoor things instead. First though I have to transport the DDs to Pony Fun Day and collect OH from the garage.

In v. positive news Quidco paid out almost £100 which is fabulous and make my bank account look extremely healthy. Sadly not for very long but free money is free money. Could do with another £100,000 of it but I'm rather lacking in fairy godmothers at the mo.

Feeling very positive this morning. Had a great nights sleep. The DDs are most content sharing a room so I made the most of it and helped myself to DD2s bed. Bliss. Not sure its a viable long term move as far as the DDs go though.

Seem to be doing an awful lot of thinking but not really getting anywhere fast at the mo. I do appreciate you all being around though. It helps enormously. Doesn't seem like theres any straightforward answer though.

Eager_Elephant

Hi moo

You are doing very well, of course there is never a straightforward answer but i know you will reach the right decision.

Did OH or even his brother mention anything about the incident?

EE

Trying_to_be_good

Moo

As everyone else says, we're here for you.

Whilst my OH was ranting at me two weeks ago, him driving and me as a passenger having dropped my step-DSs and step-DDs back to their Mum's, I called his sister in the middle of it and put on the speakerphone. She, as someone else who cares a lot about him, was able to make him see sense (granted, he was sober) about what he was doing. I was far too close to the situation to be totally rational or listened to. So - I would advocate trying the recording technique, as a way of playing back to him what he's like when he's not nice, whilst explaining that the rest of the time he's very lovely. Then he has a choice to change, or you make the choice...

(hugs)