Secrecy over facebook, is it me?

sazzybum

diable wrote: »

When a woman asks a bloke a question like

Where have you been
What time do you call this
Why haven't you done X
What you doing
Where are you going
So what did your kids want/say/do
Was your ex there?
Why
etc etc etc

then it will be classed as nagging

Lol..I see what you're saying, but do you also class it as nagging when a partner says ''Why do you spend your free time with your ex wife instead of me''?? Because that's what seems to be happening.

And for the record, you've just captured every single phrase my ex husband used to say to me-cuts both ways Or was that manly curiosity?;)

Person_one

diable wrote: »

When a woman asks a bloke a question that he doesn't want to answer, such as

Where have you been
What time do you call this
Why haven't you done X
What you doing
Where are you going
So what did your kids want/say/do
Was your ex there?
Why
etc etc etc

then it will be classed as nagging

Fixed it for you

Bananabelly

I had a problem similar to other posters, my ex and I both joined facebook around the time we broke up. I joined via my normal email and didn't know he was on there. He made a new email and used that but not being the sharpest tool on the shelf left evidence all over he computer. I told him he was an idiot for putting his birthdate in the new email address! He is still not my facebook friend two years later, though he adds my friends behind my back from time to time and makes them feel guilty. Dodged a bullet there that's for sure!

Perhaps you are approaching it in a confrontational, what he sees as a nagging way. Rather than Diable's questions above maybe you guys need to sit down together and you need to explain how you are feeling. eg 'When you don't add me as a friend on facebook I feel rejected/hurt/as though you are hiding something'. The thing to remember is that feelings are never wrong or untrue - he can say its not true, but he needs to (hopefully) acknowledge that you are feeling hurt and if there is strength in the relationship you can find a compromise to suit you both.

diable

The day my GF decides to join FaceBook will be the day I am sat on my computer deleting all the photos of me in bars and clubs pi55ed as a newt ;p as then see will know how much of a retard I am ;p

This all happened before I met my present girlfriend.

kindofagilr

Yes deffo lol we are linked as 'engaged'

Wickedkitten

hopingformore wrote: »

Hi,

I have a question for the women out there, if you and your partner were both on facebook, would you find it odd that you weren't one of his friends, having asked many times having been fobbed off?

How long have you two been together?

skintdragon

Hi, not sure if this is good advice or not, but please don't let things like social networking sites like Facebook be the basis of a relationship/ have a big influence on it. Hope it all works out for you. :A

confusedroast

He HAS to have something to hide..? I would find that odd, my husband has me listed as his wife and we both know one anothers passwords (leading to sometimes hijacking each others site and putting some hilarious status updates on there!)

Can you log into his account...I would be interested to see who he has been instant messaging!

Steel_2

Is his relationship with her really over? Does she know about you?

His attack on you is nothing more than a diversionary tactic. He's about to be caught out big time by you and he went on the offensive to try and divert you from the real issue.

You may find he's been trying to get back with the ex. In fact, her over-reaction may not be such an over-reaction if he's been laying the groundwork for his return and whispering in her ear. It would be perfectly normal if he's having some kind of relationship with her and she thinks he's abandoning her.

We fell out big time over this and guess where he went to stay? Too late at night to go anywhere else!!!!!

I'm sorry, but he's also now gone to stay with her?? And presumably blaming you for having driven him to it. This is Bullsh*t.

Bufger

hopingformore wrote: »

Yeah! thought it was odd, will elaborate... I have been on facebook for a while, all my work collegues are and my daughters and friends. I'm not addicted by any means.
My partner has adult children who he keeps in regular touch with, all between 19 and 25, two are not in the country so a good free way to talk, so, he's on fb and i say 'Whats your name on it so i can look for you?' he told me but I still could'nt find him. when i asked to see the screen he shut the lid of the lap top.
As you can imagine a huge row broke out.
I felt that he had something to hide and said he could have a look at my fb if he wanted, he said he did'nt want to.
The next day I had a friend invite, so I accepted and went on his page, only to see his wife on there, (they're seperated,) I was shaking when I saw her, really upset and angry. How can that be right? I've asked him to remove her from his friends list but he won't, says he only goes on there to keep tabs on his 'Kids' so why does he need to be her 'Friend' while I've been kept away all this time.
Anyway the crux of the matter is he has taken himself off fb all together yesterday and his wife has gone 'Mental' calling him all the names under the sun as his kids have noticed he has gone..... What a reaction, he's blaming me I know that, i never wanted him to stop being in touch with his family, he said 'There would be some comment made and you'd go off it!' What????? A bit extreme though to come off completley to save the 'Hassle'? What do you think?

Believe this from a guys point of view: a harsh and completely irrashional reaction like that means he is/was hiding something, now you've shown you're curious and might out him for whatever it is his hiding he has taken drastic action so you wont find out.

This is all in my opinion anyway but thats exactly what i would suspect given these very strange circumstances.