Secrecy over facebook, is it me?

diable

hopingformore wrote: »

Yeah! thought it was odd, will elaborate... I have been on facebook for a while, all my work collegues are and my daughters and friends. I'm not addicted by any means.
My partner has adult children who he keeps in regular touch with, all between 19 and 25, two are not in the country so a good free way to talk, so, he's on fb and i say 'Whats your name on it so i can look for you?' he told me but I still could'nt find him. when i asked to see the screen he shut the lid of the lap top.
As you can imagine a huge row broke out.
I felt that he had something to hide and said he could have a look at my fb if he wanted, he said he did'nt want to.
The next day I had a friend invite, so I accepted and went on his page, only to see his wife on there, (they're seperated,) I was shaking when I saw her, really upset and angry. How can that be right? I've asked him to remove her from his friends list but he won't, says he only goes on there to keep tabs on his 'Kids' so why does he need to be her 'Friend' while I've been kept away all this time.
Anyway the crux of the matter is he has taken himself off fb all together yesterday and his wife has gone 'Mental' calling him all the names under the sun as his kids have noticed he has gone..... What a reaction, he's blaming me I know that, i never wanted him to stop being in touch with his family, he said 'There would be some comment made and you'd go off it!' What????? A bit extreme though to come off completley to save the 'Hassle'? What do you think?

I wouldn't say he was trying to hide something but that he was keeping his past life separate to his present life.

I try to steer away from friends that I knew when I was married as I don't need to here any silly/stupid or snide comments and I have heard from other people about stalkers on Face Book. Maybe as a Man he is thinking he is protecting you and as a Woman you are thinking that he must be up to something.

Instead of posting up on here why don't you just talk about it?

hopingformore

treepotato1 wrote: »

Yeah - he's done that to create a dramady and make it seem like it's all your fault that he HAD to leave. The mature thing to do would be to take the ex off, although maybe he's more scared of her reaction than yours?

That is the whole truth of the matter, he'd much rather upset me as her.

Gottodothis

I am friends with my partner on FB also with my ex too. he has his ex on his friends................nothing is hidden. Neither of us have children with the ex's

I would find it very odd if he wanted to hide it from me and vice versa

hopingformore

diable wrote: »

I wouldn't say he was trying to hide something but that he was keeping his past life separate to his present life.

I try to steer away from friends that I knew when I was married as I don't need to here any silly/stupid or snide comments and I have heard from other people about stalkers on Face Book. Maybe as a Man he is thinking he is protecting you and as a Woman you are thinking that he must be up to something.

Instead of posting up on here why don't you just talk about it?

I tried to talk to him last night believe me, he just went on as if I was nagging him, i gave up and went to bed alone.:(

sazzybum

I'm sorry, but there's more to this than meets the eye with this chappie.. Is there anything else that has made you suspicious??

Does he spend time with his ex, maybe using the excuse he's seeing the kids?

I'm sorry if I'm hurting you with the questions, but I feel they have to be asked.

hopingformore

treepotato1 wrote: »

My partner and I have separate lives on-line. We have complete trust in one another and both maintain the seperate contacts we had online before we met. If either of us asked to see a site or be friends it would be fine but we choose not to.

hopingformore - what was your bfs reason for not allowing you as a friend?

Hi treepotato,
He's very good at just not giving you a reason, just doesn't answer or makes me feel as though I'm asking too much or being a nag!!!

hopingformore

sazzybum wrote: »

I'm sorry, but there's more to this than meets the eye with this chappie.. Is there anything else that has made you suspicious??

Does he spend time with his ex, maybe using the excuse he's seeing the kids?

I'm sorry if I'm hurting you with the questions, but I feel they have to be asked.

Yes, he does go there because he works shifts and has the free time.
We fell out big time over this and guess where he went to stay? Too late at night to go anywhere else!!!!!

poet123

I think maybe your user name says it all. He seems to me to be still emotionally atttached to the past. Was he the instigator of their break up or was she?

diable

hopingformore wrote: »

I tried to talk to him last night believe me, he just went on as if I was nagging him, i gave up and went to bed alone.:(

When a woman asks a bloke a question like

Where have you been
What time do you call this
Why haven't you done X
What you doing
Where are you going
So what did your kids want/say/do
Was your ex there?
Why
etc etc etc

then it will be classed as nagging

sazzybum

hopingformore wrote: »

Yes, he does go there because he works shifts and has the free time.
We fell out big time over this and guess where he went to stay? Too late at night to go anywhere else!!!!!

Oh dear sweetie. I'm so sorry. But you deserve SO much more!

I'm not going to say he's definitely doing it....BUT, step outside the box a minute, read your posts as if you were your own best friend. What exactly and honestly would you tell her? You'd tell her to tell him to sling his laundry bag over his shoulder and get the hell out.

Easier said than done though, and I understand totally that you feel you can't, but your LBM will happen...at least I hope it does, for your sake. Much hugs x