Secrecy over facebook, is it me?

christmas_carole

Hello to you two,

I thought this thread had gone cold, lovely to get a bit more input from you both.
It seems ages since the face book night now!!!
Took him back after that (again, I know! )

He did eventually add me as a friend and OMG guess who was on there? bold as brass, the wife... they arent divorced btw. We have been together allmost 3 years and still hasn't done it.

I was spitting blood, anyway, following week what does he do? takes himself off FB alltogether to save any more 'Hassle' bit extreme I thought, just remove her and that would have been fine. Still able to keep in touch with kids etc.
Same night..... massive abusive text from her calling him all the names under the Sun, telling asking him if he remembers he has sons who want to talk to him or has he forgotton he has sons? telling him to get all his stuff out of her house, he took it there when he left me ( I kicked him out in reality ) and she did'nt want to see his pathetic face again!!!! He went white as a sheet and did'nt speak at all for the rest of the night. Totally scared of her, why wouldnt he just say, Hey, none of your beeswax?

Anyway, things got worse, we talked and realised he could never be or do what I really wanted so he left last Saturday, since then he has come back by text and e mail saying all the things he will do to put things right, ie divorce, cccs, staying with relatives as I said 'Yeah, great, see you when you've done it all' sick of being promised and let down, Light Bulb moment does eventually come.

Emmzi

well done carole. deeds, not words :-)

christmas_carole

Sorry seem to have gone over old ground a bit, should have read more carefully, anyway we are apart with promises of divorce paperwork arriving last week, guess what? Nothing, surprised? No.

christmas_carole

confusedroast wrote: »

He HAS to have something to hide..? I would find that odd, my husband has me listed as his wife and we both know one anothers passwords (leading to sometimes hijacking each others site and putting some hilarious status updates on there!)

Can you log into his account...I would be interested to see who he has been instant messaging!

No I cant log on, dont know his password, he's always been very secretive about a lot of things, boy could i tell a few stories.:eek:

christmas_carole

Bufger wrote: »

Believe this from a guys point of view: a harsh and completely irrashional reaction like that means he is/was hiding something, now you've shown you're curious and might out him for whatever it is his hiding he has taken drastic action so you wont find out.

This is all in my opinion anyway but thats exactly what i would suspect given these very strange circumstances.

Thanks, it's always good to get a guys take on things, after all we do come from different planets and find each other hard to suss at times

christmas_carole

The cheek of it, he's just texd me saying thanks for twisting the knife and altering your face book profile!!!
I took our photo off and put one of me and daughters on and took out 'In a relationship'
I am NOT in a relationship, he's had 3 years almost to sort himsel out, time enough me thinks!!!

seven-day-weekend

Are you sure he IS actually separated?

Sorry.....it was the first thought that came into my head.

ETA: You've split up, I see. I really think this is the right decision. Well done for being strong.

Steel_2

Good for you!

Sounds like he's blaming everyone but himself for the mess he finds himself in.

Don't listen to his rubbish - actions, not words.

The minute I stopped listening to little boys boohooing about messes their own stupidity had created and throwing out airy-fairy words to keep me sweet I was able to meet a decent bloke.

He's a man of few words, but many mighty deeds!

You're well shot of this one.

Three years and still no divorce instigated while he jumps to attention when his ex-wife yells at him????

I don't think so...

Personally I'd change my mobile number as well so I don't have to have his whiny texts either.

candygirl

Haven't read the whole thread but I find it suspicious that you're not on his facebook:o
Having said that, I find it weird when a couple communicates online more than they do in real life, not that you're guilty of this ;)I know a couple who chat to each other on msn whilst in the same room, and go on the same forums and chat to each other there all night:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Very strange imo:D

daska

Steel wrote: »

Personally I'd change my mobile number as well so I don't have to have his whiny texts either.

Lots of offers via Quidco and TopCashBack as well so it could pay you to change LOL

Congratulations Carole! I'm doing the same with my husband, it's finally sinking in that he won't get his feet back under the table unless and until he proves he's making the necessary changes.