Dividing matrimonial home-fresh start please help!

9shell

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Sorry to hear this is still dragging on. I don't think I can say much except to reiterate what I said before - if you don't have faith in your solicitor then take alternative advice. I'm not sure whether the factors that you have outlined here are relevant in these kind of settlements and unless someone here is a family court solicitor or judge they probably won't either. You can get a free half hour consultation with many solicitors - why not give it a try?

Thank you Belfast girl, I really appreciate you taking the trouble to read my posts. And yes it really is dragging on and on.

I was actually thinking of getting another opinion but it's difficult at the moment to have time to research one. I'm so tired there is so much more going on. Sadly my young daughter 15 has an on going autoimmune disorder that has led to glaucoma, iritis and joint problems my time and energy (I worry so much) is taken up with her needs.

Meanwhile we are experiencing extreme hardship as a chronic condition like my daughter's does add to expense due to many reasons and needs, she is also on a gluten free diet and everything costs double, i'e breads, flours etc. Her father of course is just not interested in helping out and today after months of absence he popped up left a rambling phone message like some long lost uncle to say he loves her all empty words with no fatherly intentions or commitment. I only hope I get a wise Judge like Judge Judy off the telly, to see right through his disordered selfish character. Please please I do hope so.

squibbs25

Hi OP, sorry you are going through all this at the moment.

I dont have any practical advice for you but wanted to ask if you have checked to see if there are any other benefits you could claim.
DLA (for your daughter), carers, council tax benefit?
If you look on the turn2us website (used to be entitledto.com) and have a quick run through - you might be entitled to something that will ease your financial worry.

Sorry i cant be of more help.

mrs_marty

I've just read your whole post I cant really offer any advice really on your home, other than I hope your ex gets beggar all as he seems a right nasty piece of work. Have you consulted a family law specialist re access to the children? If there is a contact order then you could move to get it lifted removing any distress caused to your poorly daughter, just a thought, as he really doesnt sound in the best interests of his daughter. Hope it reaches a favourable conclusion for you.

9shell

Feel close to giving up the fight, I'm clinically exhausted drained to distraction being pulled and pushed in all direction's. Daughter's eye pressure's concerningly high mean too many to mention hospital trips to Moorfields for monitoring. She is already on max dose medication but pressure's still not coming down to safe level. Thursday night she was experiencing blurry vision took her to Moorfields A&E two buses 10pm did'nt get back with her until 2pm in the morning missing the last bus home meant a 45min walk home from the last stop. Her arthritis meant it was a slow walk home could'nt afford cab fare . I would carry her barefooted on hot coal and not take chances as her eyes are a major concern at the moment. This is how it is and I am fighting with a hopeless selfish man who could not care a less whether his daughter is having to carry the weight of her body on aching limbs home at an ungodly hour of the morning because he is too selfish to contribute towards her welfare. I am being told he has rights, the law needs to get tougher on men like him, they know how to minipulate the system to its full advantage purely for their own gain. He gets all his benefits incapacity benefit and the trimmings and is straight to the betting shop to fritter it away cushty in the knowledge that another tidy little sum will follow in due course and I'm being told that "he can do what he like with HIS money" by government sauces, pun intended like the CSA. This is WRONG WRONG WRONG!

thorsoak

Don't give up now! Reading your posts it is obvious that you've come such a long way - and it always gets tougher the nearer to the end that you are.

One thing strikes me - you said in your first post that your eldest child was 22 - so must now be nearing 24? Is s/he still at home? If so, is s/he contributing to the family budget - if not - start rattling the cans!

Hang on in there - and remember your solicitor is there to carry out YOUR instructions!

Mojisola

squibbs25 wrote: »

I dont have any practical advice for you but wanted to ask if you have checked to see if there are any other benefits you could claim.
DLA (for your daughter), carers, council tax benefit?
If you look on the turn2us website (used to be entitledto.com) and have a quick run through - you might be entitled to something that will ease your financial worry.

It's not easy when you're feeling so overwhelmed but getting some extra financial help through these benefits would eventually make life easier.

Contact your local council's Welfare Advisors and ask for someone to come out and see you and your daughter. They will fill in the forms for any benefits that they think you are entitled to.

9shell

thorsoak wrote: »

Don't give up now! Reading your posts it is obvious that you've come such a long way - and it always gets tougher the nearer to the end that you are.

One thing strikes me - you said in your first post that your eldest child was 22 - so must now be nearing 24? Is s/he still at home? If so, is s/he contributing to the family budget - if not - start rattling the cans!

Hang on in there - and remember your solicitor is there to carry out YOUR instructions!

I find the support on here most helpful it also helps me to be able to rant so thank you for your responses and for listening.

Thorsoak, I can't ask for a more supportive son, he helps in every way he possibly can I owe him so much but he really needs to be thinking about his own future. He has'nt exactly had the most comfortable childhood that makes me feel even more guilty he always puts our needs before his own whenever possible.

9shell

Hello just wanted to pick your good brains once again please.

As previously mentioned due to my ex's gambling debts over the years my family have easily contributed thousands of pounds in support of myself and my children othwise I don't know how I would have managed. I can prove some of these contribution's particularly the mortgage and endowment which my dad took over for 7 yrs. I was surprised to learn that the Judge may not deem them that relevant when when deciding our case, my solicitor called these soft loan's. Can anyone shed a bit more light please, would this not tip the scales in my favour, what if I have to pay the money back for example? I'm due to see my solicitor tomorrow.