was upset now turning to anger

dizziblonde

I think the registry office percieved insult is actually something that runs underneath a lot of stuff on this board sometimes though - there are a lot of people who do seem to view those of us "just having" a registry office jobbie as lesser or not doing it properly or something - and yes, I felt the same reading through the thread as the other person it offended.
I've had to make a lot of trade-offs and compromises to get married to the fella... we're skint, we live within our means but that means we have no savings - we could either wait about another 10 years to get married "properly" - or go for a registry office do. I'm not a church attender and personally I find it incredibly hypocritical when people go for a full church service when they're not religious and just looked for a pretty place to get married - but that's their choice, and it wasn't something I could mentally reconcile for my own wedding. We have no money for a massive wedding somewhere pretty - and so my family can chip in and fund the reception - we're having to have it up near theirs - not near us, so our friends won't be able to come - and the whole show's being taken over by my mother... but we're going through all this because the important bit is that at the end of the day I get to be married to him.
It's quite insulting to come on here and see registry office ceremonies knocked as not proper or whatever - and yes, the op was a bit bridezillaish. I'm not a girlie girl at heart and never find much to say about dresses - perhaps your bridesmaids are that kind of women? We're not all born with the shoes and handbags are pretty gene. Perhaps they're just burnt out on weddings, or they were tired and stressed and wanted to get fitted and get home - people do have offdays and your wedding may be the centre of your world - but it's not the centre of theirs, it's something they're involved in - but if I'd have gone into raptures at someone's dress it would have come across as fake - so the most you'd be likely to get from me is a smile and "oh it's lovely"... it's just the kind of person I am - not all women are the same.

Littlemadam83

What a horrible thread

Rene - As others have said there may be many factors why you didn't get a happy response when showing them your dress. I just like honesty and would rather people give their honest opinions so I can decide whether or not I agree. If they carry on being unexcited speak to them, but it is most likely to have been a one off.

As for the trolls - how very clever and articulate of them to belittle others in a selfish attempt to make their little lives feel an iota better. I cannot imagine how lonely it must feel to be like this.

xxx

shellsuit

I don't think any insults have been thrown around here about registry office weddings?

All rene said was that if she was doing it in a reg office, she wouldn't bother with the big dress and bridesmaids etc... And the comment about her only doing it the once, don't we all think that way, unless what's the point in getting married in the first place?!

If we could have, we would have been getting married in the reg office! As it stood, the latest time to get married in the reg office is 12.30pm which is way too early for us, so we chose 3pm at our venue instead.

We're all for reg offices, I mean it would cost us £150 to get married there, as opposed to £358 for a registrar to come out and marry us and £150 for the room hire to get married in ~ madness!

We've got a meeting with our venue on Thursday night, and if they don't play nice, we are seriously considering getting married earlier at the reg office!

Even if we do that, we would lose our £250 deposit, but we'd save £158 by doing it that way because of registrar fees.

So please, don't take heart when someone else says they wouldn't do this and they wouldn't do that, there are loads of things I wouldn't do, and there will be lots of things we want/are having which some of you lot wouldn't do!

There's no rights or wrongs ~ the most important things is that on your wedding day, you become husband and wife! (or wife and wife/hubby and hubby ~ you get my drift lol!)

nickyhutch

I think it was the "wouldn't bother" comment, shellsuit - it just (to me, anyway) implied that a register office wedding isn't worth the effort. Anyway, rene's apologised and I do see she didn't intend to be insulting.

At the end of the day, it's the marriage that's the long-lasting, important bit.

shellsuit

nickyhutch wrote: »

I think it was the "wouldn't bother" comment, shellsuit - it just (to me, anyway) implied that a register office wedding isn't worth the effort. Anyway, rene's apologised and I do see she didn't intend to be insulting.

At the end of the day, it's the marriage that's the long-lasting, important bit.

It is indeed!

superfran_uk

nickyhutch wrote: »

At the end of the day, it's the marriage that's the long-lasting, important bit.

And not what other people think of your wedding dress.

rene2b

nickyhutch wrote: »

I think it was the "wouldn't bother" comment, shellsuit - it just (to me, anyway) implied that a register office wedding isn't worth the effort. Anyway, rene's apologised and I do see she didn't intend to be insulting.

At the end of the day, it's the marriage that's the long-lasting, important bit.

hi nicky and everyone else
i didnt sleep well last night thinking about this post but thats what the troll wanted :mad:
just to clear a few things up
1,i am dyslexic but ive done ok so far :T
2,to be honest I wanted a reg office so i didnt have to have the dress,bridesmaids and everything elsa because i just wanted to get married to the man i love and just have our kids there
which u can do in a reg office or church but h2b wanted the church
3,the comments i made about the buttons i was busy and just popped on and i thought id also put another comment about it being nice but ive just checked and i didnt prob because i got sidetracked and had to log off
i love the buttons the lady as made for the pew ends and theres nothing wrong with having buttons im having a button bouquet
i was just saying flowers would of worked out cheaper then the buttons as i kno how many they would of took to make thats all
And 4
i only wanted to ask a question and the whole thing as been turned into well this thread!

honest im not here to upset/insult anyone
i just asked a question
im sorry!!:o

beks

(((hugs))) rene. I think your comments have been taken out of context and unfortunately you also came a cropper to the troll. I hope that can be the end of the comments from people who appear to be looking for arguments and we can all move on and go back to supporting each other.

shellsuit

Aww rene, I know you don't mean to upset or insult anyone here! xxx

bigmomma051204

rene2b wrote: »

hi nicky and everyone else
i didnt sleep well last night thinking about this post but thats what the troll wanted :mad:
just to clear a few things up
1,i am dyslexic but ive done ok so far :T
2,to be honest I wanted a reg office so i didnt have to have the dress,bridesmaids and everything elsa because i just wanted to get married to the man i love and just have our kids there
which u can do in a reg office or church but h2b wanted the church
3,the comments i made about the buttons i was busy and just popped on and i thought id also put another comment about it being nice but ive just checked and i didnt prob because i got sidetracked and had to log off
i love the buttons the lady as made for the pew ends and theres nothing wrong with having buttons im having a button bouquet
i was just saying flowers would of worked out cheaper then the buttons as i kno how many they would of took to make thats all
And 4
i only wanted to ask a question and the whole thing as been turned into well this thread!

honest im not here to upset/insult anyone
i just asked a question
im sorry!!:o

xx Lets all be friends again xx (Don't worry and sorry if i sounded mean... guess we were all having sh*te days yesterday!!!!!!)