She has been unfaithful and I need to leave - I need advice

C_Mababejive

ninky wrote: »

:rotfl:so an attractive liar who cooks well would be worth staying with? some blokes......

presumably if the mortgage is in her name then the claim for benefits to pay the mortgage was her responsibility. as such, is she not equally culpable in the fraud? bring the cheater down with you, i say!

Its all about give and take

Too many people get excited about what is often just a shag.

The relationship could work on other levels..!

viktory

confusedandconfused wrote: »

no I didn't lie, I just not sure if I should have declared it. At the time of the claim my mother had just died and I had just lost my job, so my head was up in the clouds.

I think you'll find that is a lie - you were lying by omission.

mouseymousey99

Its funny how when people are 'muddled' they always come out with money going to them - they never manage to get in a situation where they claiming too little.

Worcsman

confusedandconfused wrote: »

Well I seem to have got myself right in the s**t. Thanks everyone so far for your advice. As is stands I'm going to ring JCP and tell them everything because I have had some real bad stuff happen to me, and I don't want it to get worst.

If anyone else has any advice, I would really appriciate anything constructive.

In fact I am so worried what is going to happen to me. I have had a string of bad luck and this seems to be my mistake and already suffering from depression and anxiety, am at a loss.

dmg24 - not what I wanted to hear but good advice. Thanks

Tread carefully, the old saying hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, could bite you on the backside, if your unfaithful other half decides to shop you after you leave her. Then your honesty or not to the jcp might not even matter, they may get tipped off and come looking for you. Lazy civil servents love any easy statistic.. And that is all you will be.

Honestly though, you should have told them about your other property in the first place, but then you wouldnt have qualified for help so I can understand the motivation but don't sympathise with it. Still I hope you find a way out of the situation!

tabskitten

mouseymousey99 wrote: »

Its funny how when people are 'muddled' they always come out with money going to them - they never manage to get in a situation where they claiming too little.

that was my first thought - and the fact that the op obviously felt guilty....

confusedandconfused

Thanks again everyone - what a mess.

Does anyone what will happen when I tell them?

chesky369

Yes, and whilst I understand that, temporarily, your head might be 'in the clouds' over a death in the family, it doesn't stay that way. You could have owned up any time between then and now.

confusedandconfused

chesky369 wrote: »

Yes, and whilst I understand that, temporarily, your head might be 'in the clouds' over a death in the family, it doesn't stay that way. You could have owned up any time between then and now.

That's what I'm going to do. Please try not to be so judgmental. I want to sort this out.

dmg24

When you tell them they will take some details from you. At this point it is possible that they will suspend your payments whilst it is investigated. They may ask for further information in writing, and it is quite possible that they will call you in for an interview.

I would tell them as quickly as possible, both for the possibility that your ex will contact them first, and in case they realise what has happened. Whatever happens, you will be better off contacting them before they contact you.

(You might get a comment from a poster called liam9 - if you do, just ignore. He is a troll who will hopefully soon be banned.)

tabskitten

confusedandconfused wrote: »

That's what I'm going to do. Please try not to be so judgmental. I want to sort this out.

yeah- now that you have no choice!!;)

not being judgemental- just honest

we have all made mistakes........