Should a 13 year old have a Facebook account?

ninky_2

pigpen wrote: »

but they are grownups.. not children.. world of difference!

absolutely. but my point was it is something they will need to become familiar with - assuming something better doesn't come along in the meantime. growing up i never got taught to speak on the telephone, and my parents didn't use it much either, and i think it was an issue (even a phobia) for me for a while.

Dazi

I can only speak from my experience, my whole family are on facebook, from my 12 year old neice to my parents who are in their 70s.

It's a way of us keeping in touch, yes we do ring each other, but exchanging photos is so easy on facebook.

I do have friends that I have never met, most are from this forum. My settings are all set to friends only.

I think as long as you put the privacy settings in place,, there is nothing wrong with it.

I and DH are friends with his 15yr old daughter so can see what she posts....it does come in handy at times when she is holed up in her room and no response, can post and say get yourself out here lol

I have to say though, I met my OH online in a chat room, so I may be a bit biased towards all things online!

But to reiterate, if the correct privacy settings are in use, and your child is aware of who they are adding, I think it is ok. The thing you have to watch is that they add friends just because they want more as facebook will always suggest friends for them, who are friends of friends, think that is when it can get iffy.

Jak xx

purple12

It isn't the technology that is bad, just the way it's used. We had a letter back from child's school (she's 11 - in year 7) warning us about kids at the school using Facebook for bullying purposes and reminding us that the minimum age for a facebook account is 13!
To be honest, we have had lots of chats about the importance of internet security and we decided we would use the minimum ages as a guide - she has asked about an account and we've just said she can't until she's 13. When she is 13, and possibly as soon as - I expect she'll sign up and we'll certainly allow her to do so at that point - however, I think it might be worth trying facebook out yourself as well to get a better idea of it's scope and how it can be used - mostly for fun purposes but there are some ways that people can send messages etc that might be less helpful. To be honest, I'm not as concerned about 'stranger danger' with her (as that has been well-emphasised) as much as kids that she probably knows being mean..
The best way in my opinion, to protect against concerns is to be aware and learn about them myself. Operate and be comfortable with the technology and sites so I can better inform her..
(and so it was I set myself up with a Club Penguin account.. and sometimes waddle around in penguin form after her to play some games - but that's another story for another day!).

ninky_2

as far as i know the 13 thing is a guideline facebook have set themselves. there isn't any legislation and it's not a government body that has set that limit - so who knows where it has come from. it's quite likely facebook themselves trying to look like they are being responsible to head off any pressure to legislate.

remember there was the !!!!!phile ring that met through facebook.

it's also worth noting that depending what phone children have they can also look at their facebook on their mobile making it even harder to keep an eye on what they are up to.

it's also a clever marketing tool so it's likely to expose children to advertising that is more persistent and cunning than the marketing they get from other media. that's the same for a lot of on-line content however, some so-called educational sites sponsored by kellogg's with pop-ups suggesting how healthy their cereals are and fun cartoon characters attached etc.

jamespir

robpw2 wrote: »

when i was a child it was stay in the house and clean or head out on your bikes and ride or just play outside we had shops to run bands to manage all fromour shed ay the bottom of the garden and not a weirdo in site- apart from mom who used to pop her head in to make sure we were all behaving but at that age everyone thinks their parents are weird

we made freinds with kids in the neighbour hood and we didnt feel the need to update our statuses every five minutes -we had adventures like the famous five and secret seven

but alas now we have facebook who needs imagination when its all on there

i do agree with you about more productive things to do

yes our mum was very weird sometimes and that neighbour who lived down the road we were all scared of her because she was a psycho ( sorry psychic )

thriftlady_2

Well, thanks for all the good advice:). I have set him up an account using OH's email address and a password we both know and we will be monitoring it.

I must say I don't really 'get' facebook for myself but can see the attraction for kids.

jamespir

thriftlady wrote: »

Well, thanks for all the good advice:). I have set him up an account using OH's email address and a password we both know and we will be monitoring it.

I must say I don't really 'get' facebook for myself but can see the attraction for kids.

try using twitter if you think facebooks confusing its even worse

also noticed in whsmiths yesterday they have a magazine out (think its 6.99) though its more like a book its called a guide to facebook and social networking includes helpful hints for parents

thriftlady_2

jamespir wrote: »

try using twitter if you think facebooks confusing its even worse

also noticed in whsmiths yesterday they have a magazine out (think its 6.99) though its more like a book its called a guide to facebook and social networking includes helpful hints for parents

That sounds really useful I'll look out for that. Thanks very much:T

wontfallforit

Facebook is what you make of it.

You have the option of sharing as little or as much personal information as you like.

You can upload a profile picture (and a series of photo albums), or you can choose not to.

Facebook itself isn't inherently dangerous or sinister - but some people who use it do so irresponsibly (i.e. sharing far too much personal info!). But the platform of Facebook itself doesn't really support innundations of unsolicited contact from strangers. It isn't an open market, provided you tinker with the privacy settings before using it.

In order for anyone to specifically seek out contact with your son, they'd need to already know his full name (which, with hundreds of millions of FB users, many other people probably share!), or at the very least already have a mutual 'friend' with him. So, provided the privacy settings are tailored correctly (i.e. you can specify that when someone searches for you, they can't see any profile information beyond your name and photo, if you have a photo at all), the prospect of the usual 'horrors' of 13 year olds being groomed online are quite limited. Friend requests must be approved by the user, before the requestee can see their full profile.

I'm 25, I only add people I know in person...preferably people I've actually spoken to in the 9 or 10 years since I left school! As such, my friend count is a lot lower than many people's. I'm obviously unconcerned about the "dangers" of adding and talking to strangers, but I really don't see the point in doing so.

In the 3 years I've used Facebook, I've had perhaps 4 or 5 friend requests from people I don't know. That's not a bad record. And upon investigating these strangers' profiles, they seem ti be musicians, actors, etc., just looking for a bit of promotion. Fairly harmless contact, that I can easily ignore.

I'd like to see FB used more responsibly by all ages. I just cringe when I see my 'friends' go into far too much information online - I've seen status updates relating to everything from embarrassing drunken antics, to slagging off employers, to the ins and out of private divorce proceedings.

And those bloody applications, groups and 'fan' pages...the vast majority of them are innocent in nature (a few more 'adult' themes slip through the net, but can be easily reported), but they are overwhelmingly childish, poorly constructed, and utterly pointless.

MCMitten

My friends 11 year old daughter is on facebook. Her mum has given her lots of ground rules (most of which are mentioned in the posts) but one of the rules she has set is that she is not aloud to look at any You-tube links.
People can post links to You-tube videos on their profile n they can be viewed by all their friends. Some of the videos are harmless but some can be graphic or have bad language.
My 10 yr old asked if he can be on facebook- i've told him he's still a bit young but if/when he does get an account You-tube will be banned!!