Should a 13 year old have a Facebook account?

Pee

I am not suggesting that a 13 year old, and certainly not a 15 year old, can or should be monitored continuously.

robpw2

most of the applications are safe farmvile !!!!! wars restraunt city etc as for adult quizez you do get them but you usually have to search for them or be invited
facebook isnt a place where you log in and everything is availible it is constantly seeking verification for things -
it generally is a place for people to document their daily lives in a serious of status updates

robpw2

Pee wrote: »

I am not suggesting that a 13 year old, and certainly not a 15 year old, can or should be monitored continuously.

but if mum/dad set up an account they could keep an eye on things but also i do think that children should be supervised when using the internet

ninky_2

its worth noting that in my industry (tv) facebook is a major networking and jobseeking tool. i have given people jobs as a result of facebook networking.

bertiebots

Thanks OP for asking this question as it is something my ds1 (13) has asked me recentley. I was not very keen on him having an account tbh but dont want him to miss out on the social aspect with friends etc. After reading all the replies I may allow him an account if I can monitor whats going on! So again thanks! I am going to look into it this weekend .

thriftlady_2

robpw2 wrote: »

but if mum/dad set up an account they could keep an eye on things but also i do think that children should be supervised when using the internet

Well, naturally, but as you haven't got kids you won't realise how difficult that is to do. Fortunately mine are all sensible and we have strict parental controls in place and our pc is in a central location in our house. But there are times when the teenagers are alone in the house, or when they're on the pc and we are watching TV in the other room. We can't stand over them every time they go on it.

My lads have just done the quiz Gingernutmeg linked to. They did pretty well, the older one getting full marks and the 13 yo just 2 wrong. But it was really useful to talk through it.

thriftlady_2

bertiebots wrote: »

Thanks OP for asking this question as it is something my ds1 (13) has asked me recentley. I was not very keen on him having an account tbh but dont want him to miss out on the social aspect with friends etc. After reading all the replies I may allow him an account if I can monitor whats going on! So again thanks! I am going to look into it this weekend .

Glad I'm not the only one to be faced with this question Bertie. We'll be spending the weekend finding out more. There has been some really useful info here. Thanks everybody:T

bertiebots

Gingernutmeg wrote: »

You could always set up your own account and add him as a friend so that you can see what he's up to It might also be useful to get him to have a look at a couple of online safety quizzes, like this one. It's surprising what teenagers don't know about being sensible online, despite being pretty computer savvy. Thinkuknow is a good site too (although there's a fair bit on there about grooming etc so I'd have a quick flick through first to see if it's suitable for your situation )

Thanks for these I have saved them to show ds this weekend.

Threebabes

My 3 kids have got them, 6, 9 and 14. The 6 and 9 year olds accounts are heavily monitored and everything goes through me and my email. I regularly check whats going on and log on to their accounts all the time to check. I monitor which friends are added etc. Its for the games really playing cafes, farms etc. My 9 year old chats to school friends on it but again I check whats being said. My 14 yr old has no interest in it anymore, he got bored of it.

pigpen

robpw2 wrote: »

surely the crown are prosecuting ? as crimnnal offences are against the state

still - how did a 24 year old manage to groom your daughter
1. alll friend requests have to be accepted
2. you cant chat to anyone unless a friend
3 if your supervising your child on the computer then again why did you allow this to start

sorry didnt mean to sound so harsh just re-read it i sympathise with you about how distressing it must be - im just confused as fb seems to be so safe

It isn't safe at all.

and how many people have 'acquaintances' and 'friends of friends' on their lists.. it is all way too easy?? Friends from school they've not seen in 30 years. People they know from church, people that are friends of family members that they have spent time with as a group or met at birthdays etc. Brothers/sisters of friends from school also seem to be added.

There have been several people I have actually made her delete whom I have thought unhealthy for her to be acquainted with. My DIL's sister was one of them..

I do hope you are not suggesting I sit on my 15 year old daughters shoulder while she uses the computer?

Schoolwork is set to be done on the computer as homework and emailed to teachers from 11/12 .. They can have coursework in one window, FB in another and messenger running as well. and when you have 5 of them in different rooms with coursework/homework to be done it is neither practical not appropriate to be there 24/7.. especially when you have never ever had cause to think anything untoward has or would happen

It wasn't harsh.. just a little naive I think

Pee wrote: »

I haven't used any of those adult applications, even though I am certainly over 18. There were some half dressed firemen we were sending pictures of to one another and some imaginery cocktails, which might not be a great example to a child.

If you set her account up together, then you will be able to check it, at random, and anything like that will mean that she is banned for a few weeks / as appropriate.

I am sorry to hear your problems pigpen, but the guy could have been grooming your daughter in another social situation and you would have been none the wiser. At least facebook is a public place.

It takes less than a minute to change a password.

robpw2 wrote: »

but if mum/dad set up an account they could keep an eye on things but also i do think that children should be supervised when using the internet

There has to come a point where you should be able to trust they know a weirdo when they come across one.. sadly they don't come with a placard. I don't think they should be allowed 'free reign' without any supervision at all.. I think I should be monitored sometimes lol. I would probably think younger children need less supervision than older ones IME, Younger ones want to look at pictures of kittens and bunnies.. older ones (12ish) want to look at body parts and search 'boobs' and other sillythings.. but could potentially unearth some hideous stuff.

It is at the age when they NEED to be using it for coursework that they need most supervision and you cannot do it.. you sinply cannot monitor every move they make.. they will do stupid things and have to learn from it..

I still think allowing a 13 y/o access to FB is a mistake and it should be managed legally with a 16/18 year age restriction.. but then.. that would mean people would just lie.

Encouraging them to meet their friends for a game of football or a jaunt to the cinema is probably a more productive use of their time.. but you still can't monitor that either.. so you have the potential risk either way.

anyway.. can't stop.. Farms to plough, islands to harvest and cities to conquer..