Should a 13 year old have a Facebook account?

pigpen

ninky wrote: »

its worth noting that in my industry (tv) facebook is a major networking and jobseeking tool. i have given people jobs as a result of facebook networking.

but they are grownups.. not children.. world of difference!

TheEffect

I work at a secondary school and it amazed me how many of the year 7's and 8's have facebook. I've even had a year 7 swear at me via sending me a message on facebook. I've had to change all of my security and privacy settings on there so that no one can message me/see my profile without me accepting them as a friend first.

I would say at 13, it's ok to let your children have an account, though do monitor it and talk to them about it before they join. There are a lot 'adult' applications on facebook such as 'what drug are you' and many questionnaires that ask a lot of private information that 13 year olds shouldn't be posting on the internet.

pigpen

Pee wrote: »

I am sorry to hear your problems pigpen, but the guy could have been grooming your daughter in another social situation and you would have been none the wiser. At least facebook is a public place.

no, he couldn't.. he has no reason to be at any of the places my daughter would beat.. he would have no contact with her at all if not for the initial FB contact (ditto my OH so I'm maybe not the best example) .. he now has her phone number.. which I just had the bright idea to have changed.. (why did I not think of this before?) He knows which school she attends, where she lives and even where some of her friends live.. it is very scary how quickly this information is disclosed.

kindofagilr

JabT wrote: »

My son has an account, as do most of his friends, he's 11. The account's set up for friends only and with my email address so I see all friends request etc. before he adds anybody.

Your son can still request to be someone's friend, as far as I know you only get the email if they are requesting to add you and not the other way around?

Filey

baublebag wrote: »

Why don't you just get an account yourself and see what it does????
It's free, and easy.

I got myself an account. I heard everyone going on about it and thought I must be missing something. Various people asked me to be their friend including people who were friends of friends and who I had never heard of. How can you be friends with someone you have never met? And if I have anything to tell people who ARE my friends then I contact them by more private modes of electronic communication. Or even speak to them on the phone!

My 11 yo grand daughter (who lives with me) has a Facebook account but she only has 'friends' who she knows personally, and never posts anything she wouldn't want to be made public.

Obviously I'm an old fuddyduddy but I can't help feeling that a lot of people don't actually know what the word 'friend' means. A person you know slightly is an acquaintance. A friend is someone you know quite well and actually like.

Still, I suppose listing your acquaintances on Facebook wouldn't have quite the same ring. We all like to be popular!

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robpw2

pigpen wrote: »

Encouraging them to meet their friends for a game of football or a jaunt to the cinema is probably a more productive use of their time.. but you still can't monitor that either.. so you have the potential risk either way.

anyway.. can't stop.. Farms to plough, islands to harvest and cities to conquer..

when i was a child it was stay in the house and clean or head out on your bikes and ride or just play outside we had shops to run bands to manage all fromour shed ay the bottom of the garden and not a weirdo in site- apart from mom who used to pop her head in to make sure we were all behaving but at that age everyone thinks their parents are weird

we made freinds with kids in the neighbour hood and we didnt feel the need to update our statuses every five minutes -we had adventures like the famous five and secret seven

but alas now we have facebook who needs imagination when its all on there

i do agree with you about more productive things to do

robpw2

pigpen wrote: »

no, he couldn't.. he has no reason to be at any of the places my daughter would beat.. he would have no contact with her at all if not for the initial FB contact (ditto my OH so I'm maybe not the best example) .. he now has her phone number.. which I just had the bright idea to have changed.. (why did I not think of this before?) He knows which school she attends, where she lives and even where some of her friends live.. it is very scary how quickly this information is disclosed.

why did he pick your daughter out of the millions of people who use facebook ?how did he get your daughters number ?
im intrigued as to how you met your oh on facebook ?

is there some kind of russian roulette friend picker?

Becles

My boys are 11 and 13 and they have got Facebook, as most of their friends have it. They have both been warned about online safety and the PC is in the dining room so we can see what they are up to. I have their log in details and they know I can log in anytime and check up on them. They have been told if they change the passwords without telling me, it'll be assumed they are doing something they shouldn't be and they'll be banned from it! I also use Facebook so I can keep an eye through mine too.

Some of their school friends have added me as a friend, and I get alarmed by some of the pictures posted. Some of the girls are only 10 or 11, but they are posing seductively in skimpy clothing, make up and "grown up" hairstyles. I wouldn't be happy if it was my children putting pictures like that up and would insist they were removed.

pigpen

robpw2 wrote: »

why did he pick your daughter out of the millions of people who use facebook ?how did he get your daughters number ? Give me your number and I'll tell you..
im intrigued as to how you met your oh on facebook ? And you will stay that way.. .. unless you want tips?? I'm sure he may have a few ;)

is there some kind of russian roulette friend picker?

Because she is pretty, because she is naive, because she has a lot going on in her life she wasn't as vigilant as she could have been, because he knew someone she knows, because he is a weirdo and they are indiscriminate... who knows.. hopefully the police can find out that info for you so you don't have to worry.

I am fairly certain most people who murder or abduct children don't single out one individual, they take a chance on one that is most vulnerable at that moment in time and take advantage of that situation.

And yes.. there is a section which randomly generates lists of people who are friends of your accepted friends and asks if you want to add them too.. you can search individual names and send anyone a friend request.. how 'hit and miss' does it get?

robpw2

pigpen wrote: »

Because she is pretty, because she is naive, because she has a lot going on in her life she wasn't as vigilant as she could have been, because he knew someone she knows, because he is a weirdo and they are indiscriminate... who knows.. hopefully the police can find out that info for you so you don't have to worry.

I am fairly certain most people who murder or abduct children don't single out one individual, they take a chance on one that is most vulnerable at that moment in time and take advantage of that situation.

And yes.. there is a section which randomly generates lists of people who are friends of your accepted friends and asks if you want to add them too.. you can search individual names and send anyone a friend request.. how 'hit and miss' does it get?

i met my partner through a friend not on fb thought lol
im not trying to justify this persons behaviour at all - i was just wondering how it was this happens and now you have told me that its a friend of a friend etc it makes more sense
im not blaming you or your daughter either - i just feel that fb with the right kind of vigelence etc can be safe
as for adding friends willy nilly well thats silly to accept friend request from people you dont know your asking for all kinds of trouble if people add me and im not sure who they are i always ask before confirming