Should a 13 year old have a Facebook account?

shellsuit

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Now COD is 18!!! unlike facebook!

Yes, I know.

jellyhead

My 13 year old has me as a friend but I try not to interact with him online in case his friends laugh at him for being a mummy's boy. I don't tag him in photos of him stroking fluffy farm animals with his little brother, or grimacing next to someone in a sonic the hedgehog costume with his brother at alton towers. I do check up on him though, and I have his password so I could delete people etc. if I wanted to. He plays games with friends, and will sometimes do a quiz if friends at school are talking about it.

He bugged me for an account when he was 11 and I refused, but now that he has an account he doesn't use it much and thinks most of facebook is girly rubbish.

He refused to add an adult relative that he doesn't like, and was a bit rude in refusing friend requests from girls at his school. I told him it's nicer to just ignore the request than to tell somebody no thanks! Some of his mates have hundreds of friends, and they all add each others friends and end up with loads of strangers as their friends, but my son isn't interested in that (he's not very sociable).

I noticed last month that a year 8 girl (almost 13) when changing her relationship status to single was asked for a quickie, by an adult who is friends with both the girl and the girl's mum. I felt quite sick reading that, and I commented, asking him to remove his comment. I don't like the thought of 12 year olds being talked to in a sexual way by adults, and it's one of the hazards of facebook I suppose. Then again if you, the OP, don't have an account then your son will feel no pressure to add your adult friends (not that your adult friends are like that, I'm sure).

jellyhead

There's a 13 year old girl who I'm friends with because I know her mum, but my son ignores (she's in his class but he doesn't want to talk to her), and the bullying on facebook is horrible. I thought last week that 13 year old girls shouldn't be allowed facebook accounts. She is depressed, and spills out her thoughts then gets laughed at and bullied by other 13 year olds. They call her fat and ugly, and she puts in her status 'am I fat and ugly?' then gets more spiteful comments.

She'd be better off without facebook imo, or if her mum monitored her account and told her to stop being friend with the most toxic 'friends' on there. They all add each other because they know each other, and not because they like each other or have anything in common.

retro_bluebell

Op Im in a similar position to you except I have 2 boys eldest just turned 12 in January and the youngest is 10. They have bothed asked for Fb accounts for the same reasons your son has apparently everyone has them.....anyway Im not going to let my 10 year old have one just yet as he is the type of kid that will talk to anyone and I dont think hes mature enough yet. I may let my 12 year old though as he is a sensible lad and he really only wants the fish tank thing on there because he saw mine lol.

Monitoring wise where do you have the computer he will be using? The pc my sons use is in the living room in full view of everyone, if it was in his bedroom Id be inclined to say no you cant have it yet. Would he have access to any other computers that he could use to go on Fb? I know my eldests high school have library computers but they are set to revision only sites and the only computer access he has is at home.

Its a difficult choice really and you have to base it on the maturity of your lad and how you think he would react to certain situations, as you can tell theres a lot of weirdos out there ready to exploit kids but Im sure if your son has the knowledge of what he can and cant do on there he will be ok.

vixarooni

Im very glad facebook wasnt around when i was an early teen, it was nice to come home and leave school behind. I could just imagine how bullying could easily be carried over to facebook, or how popular are you on facebook ect.

System

vixarooni wrote: »

Im very glad facebook wasnt around when i was an early teen, it was nice to come home and leave school behind. I could just imagine how bullying could easily be carried over to facebook, or how popular are you on facebook ect.

To think the people who bullied me and made my life a misery 10+ years ago added me as a friend like nothing happened! I refused them all.

Janepig

pigpen wrote: »

I am fairly certain most people who murder or abduct children don't single out one individual, they take a chance on one that is most vulnerable at that moment in time and take advantage of that situation.

I think you'll find that most people who murder or abduct children are actually related to them so wouldn't need FB to get close.

Both my children are too young to have an account but I'm sure in afew years DD will get interested. My motto online and in life is "trust no-one" which I will pass on to them. As you mentioned in a previous post, unfortunately "weirdo's" don't come with a big sign above their head, and it takes a bit of life experience to realise this (and often people with life experience still don't realise this!).

I've got afew people from MSE as friends on FB who I've obviously never met in "real life", and I'm not really sure whether Q, Shellsuit, Jellyhead, etc... are actually big, burly bogeymen who want to do me in, but I'm as confident as I can be that they're not :D:D:D.

Jxx

thriftlady_2

retro_bluebell wrote: »

Monitoring wise where do you have the computer he will be using? The pc my sons use is in the living room in full view of everyone, if it was in his bedroom Id be inclined to say no you cant have it yet. Would he have access to any other computers that he could use to go on Fb? .

Yes, we have one family pc in the living room. That'll be the only one he can use at home.

snowmaid

My son is 11 and has FB. Conditions are that he will only accept/request friends from people he knows personally. I monitor his FB, going into his account at random and he knows that the first sign of any flouting of the rules and his account will be cancelled immediately.

He sticks to the rules and knows I trust him and that what I am actually checking for is any signs of abuse or possible abuse, bullying etc.

System

I have to admit, my parents don't have the first clue about FB, so i monitor my siblings myself. Only time there was a hint of trouble was my now 15 year old sister who'd posted a pic on bebo that was, "unsuitable" so i warned her of the dangers, and told her in no uncertain terms that if she didn't remove it i'd be ringing out rents to tell them. She complied and hasn't been any trouble since.