my big fat gypsy wedding

rinroo

It really opened my eyes to the traveller community, I wasn't aware of the strict "no sex/living together before marriage"

I thought when the last girl said, at 22 she was classed as an old bride because the average wedding age is 16/17 was so sad. Those girls are so young!

It has changed my views slightly on travellers now, there is a travelling family who's young daughter is in my son's class at school (reception) however her elder sister cant be more than 12-13? and she wears tiny hot pants and high, high heels and tiny little crop tops and you can see the playground groups looking and chatting (I've done it!) now I know vaguely why her mum allows her too.

I didn't like when they said the dresses are that big they can leave physical scars, which some girls are fiercely proud of!! Shocking!

Dr_DiNg_DoNg

Money changes hands for the bride, thats why they are selling themselves, and how the wedding gets paid for!

floss2

snapping_crocodile wrote: »

:eek: That's more than most people's whole weddings.....where do they get that sort of cash when as they said most are just casual labourers

The spokesman said they will work as anything - and tree surgeons aren't exactly cheap! Don't forget they are all self employed too.

snapping_crocodile wrote: »

But I thought they said you will never find a traveller who talks about money :rotfl:

That's the anonymity of a forum

joolesw1972 wrote: »

I found it really interesting, I didn't see much difference in the way the girls dressed for their events and the way girls dress going in to town on a Saturday night! At least they don't take some bloke home and regret it in the morning!
I thought that the sense of community was lovely.
Not my taste in dresses, but if that's the dream in your head and you can do it, great.

I agree - there is a church that often holds traveller first holy communions, weddings & funerals in my home town. The communion dresses are like mini wedding dresses.

I think their sense of morality & community is to be admired, the parents don't want their children to be drinking, taking drugs & losing their self-respect & self-worth like the "country" folk in our normal world. That strong faith & moral code is their normal world, and it is as much a cultural divide as between Christian & Muslim cultures, but I think it is not as respected or recognised.

floss2

Dr_DiNg_DoNg wrote: »

Money changes hands for the bride, thats why they are selling themselves, and how the wedding gets paid for!

The dowry system worked everywhere in this country years ago, and still happens and works in a lot of other countries & cultures. It's nothing unusual, just not a part of our culture as it is in gypsy & traveller cultures.

mypie

I watched it last night and was enlightened. I was amazed at how there faith really is apart of their life and it changed how I thought they were all huss!es . I felt sorry for Joan as it seemed she didn't even want to get married at all or maybe she was just scared.

francinefishpaw

I was gripped, what a brilliant insight into the travelling community! Fascinating.

I can totally understand why the girls dress as they do in order to meet their mate. Their so much pressure for them to marry young and it what are their hopes and dreams are pinned to. It's not like they meet lads at school, at an under 16 night or at the youth club; they have the park they live on, the weddings they attend each year and traveller events they visit to impress. They have to make an impression (a bit like peacocks.) What better way to make an impression that wear provocative outfits.

dizziblonde

Lots of them dress like that a lot of the time though (I don't think it does them any favours in terms of how they're seen by the rest of society) - picking their kids up from school etc... it just seems to be the done way of how they dress. I've taught a fair few traveller children (when they're not on the move) and generally they've been a pretty OK bunch that I've had few bad experiences with (although I did have to sidetrack one chap in an RE lesson when he wanted to tell us in full fire and brimstone detail about what his priest had said would happen at the end of the world - wasn't really pitched at an appropriate level for the rest of the class!). The kids find it slightly harder to settle down within school settings during the times of the year they're there, and obviously they've got fair gaps in their knowledge - but generally they're decent, caring, chatty kids - just incredibly bubbly and loud - which I guess some teachers find quite hard to manage at times.

The first holy communions are, again, a massive massive thing - we had them at my old school - the rest of the kids would roll up in mum or dad's car... then we'd get everyone from their site, full horse drawn carriage, massive dress etc - was rather cute (especially watching the head's, who hated anyone non-conventional and was the most bigotted snob I've come across, reaction and her visibly twitch for the rest of the morning!).

mypie

MrsE wrote: »

I was in a pub in the west of Ireland in Dec 99 having a carvery lunch.

You probably know its not the norm to serve travellers, but they got served for their carvery lunch & milk by the girl working on the carvery who wouldn't be as clued up about spotting travellers as a barman.

Anyway after eating they went to the bar for a drink & were refused service, they had been sitting next to us but this is when I noticed them.

After the usual carry on about not being served, the traveller said to the owner (who had been called by this time), its 1999 nearly the year millennium year 2000, I'm an Irish man in my own country, I've done nothing wrong in here, but I'm not allowed to get a drink in a pub like anyone else.

I didn't say a word - because I knew the pub owner & I knew his brother who owned half the town very well, but it is still my deep shame that I sat & ignored what was blatant discrimination, I can still hear the words that man said:(

I know what you mean. I live in Northern Ireland and I have to admit I had a perceived image of travellers and think after watching the program last night I have been beating myself up about it. It is essentially racism to exclude travellers but I am sure if I was in your shoes I would have done the same.

poet123

I really enjoyed the programme, I thought they all came across very well, can you imagine wthe stress of having your wedding cancelled at 3 days notice because of who you are? They should have named and shamed that venue.

The dresses were something else,but each to their own. I thought the bridesmaids in bright blue looked like those old fashioned toilet roll covers your granny had!!

It was fascinatint to watch,and very informative and showed a different side to the travelling community that is usually presented.

Stephb1986_2

I loved the show it was great some of them dresses WOW! Knowing now they cost so much money I won't bother going to that shop

I must admit I thought that SOME travellers we're theives but after seeing the show it's brought them into a different light. I really felt sorry for Joan though you could tell that she really didn't want to do it.

Steph xx