I'm going to do a diary too :)

yukkibear

That reminds me I need to go and buy some compost to get started with my seeds

cha97michelle

Hiya, if you got to in the 30s and then quit you would be in the same position as us. Our life has changed so much for the better since i left work that DH doesn't want me to go back even when the kids go to school. Just try and be frugal this year and it comes natural then, and you could probably overpay by a lot more than you think. We always seem to. (Just never quick enough for me.)

gerbiljo

Wel we sneaked to b&q today and spent another tenner....got some paraffin oil for our greenhouse heater and arranged the bed for the potatoes today, I've decided I'm not growing much this year as last year I tried to do as much as I did when I was on maternity leave and it all dried up etc and it was stressful so just going for choice stuff; plum tomatoes, spinach, basil, potatoes,carrots and leeks oh and garlic and will leave the strawberrys and herbs to do their thing I have a pack of petunias as last year hubby made me some boxes to go on the top of the wall of our garden- its almost like a court yard so I hope to be successful with them! Time will tell!

Cha your right, hubby doesn't want me at work. When I was off it was wonderful I used to cook dinner for a soon as hubby got in and have all the jobs done, then we'd walk the dogs and then sit down together and watch tv and go to bed about 9. Now I get in at half 7 if im lucky and hubby is stressed as he's been looking after our toddler and cooking then for an hour by the time weve finshed dinner hubby wants to sleep and I feel like I've had no evening so I sit up late then can't get up in the morning. In my life the misery vs benefit ratio is always so high, I'd like a life of moderation!

My dad has been unwell this weekend and had an anxiety attack, but I think he might of thought he was having a heart attack because the paramedics came. He suffered work related stress/anxiety depression 9 years ago (like myself 5 years ago) and luckily managed to retire off the back of it, my dad is having alot of stress with his parents as they are very demanding and trying to hold onto their big house but they can't cope, I think he is worried about me too and I worry that having our daughter is too much but he says it isnt and that he would be lost without her- I think he is telling the truth.... Anyway I guess these things should only act to make you appreciate life more and not worry about things that shouldnt be worried about!

I wrote a list this weekend of stuff to do, it wasn't even that ambitious and I have truly failed, I think I could have done them in about 3 hours but with so many interuptions etc it has proved hard to do even half! Anyway payday this week so at least I will be a bit lower and that will help as it seems a long time on this balance...

vl2588

That list was huge IMO!!!! Nearly the end of the month and can make extra payments into existing mortgage/mortage fund

gerbiljo

thats great vl2588 why can't it be end of the month every week haha

pammyj74

Its so hard to have work/life balance isnt it. Do I remember right that you are looking to quit in a few years when dd starts school. There is always a goal to aim for thats worth it,.

gerbiljo

Yes thats the plan if I can hold out, it would be so worth while if I could, but we will see, theres a limit to how miserable u can be!

pammyj74

I know that feeling, my work is not nice at the moment but I have to weigh up the pros and cons of it all. But I dont work long hours thankfully. And hopefully if things work out with my mortgage being paid I may never have to fingers crossed.

But if it is making you so miserable it might be worth putting the OPs on hold for a better personal/family life. Is it really worth your well being to OP in a short space of time or could you feel better and take your time?

gerbiljo

Tbh had I have been allowed to go back part time I would have never taken this approach. Unfortunately what I do is long hours and there is a high proportion of depression in the job, I have been 'lucky' in that when I couldn't cope I sort of fighted it out and have been allowed to just do a 48hour week so I don't do nights or weekends now tho I do occasionally get stuck. The only way I can get part time is to work just nights or weekends which I did consider but it was going to involve every other weekend and my husband is strictly 9-5 and he didn't want me doing this as we would get less time together. The only thing that has allowed me to keep going with this is that by being very extreme we make it the shortest period of time we can but it isnt much fun, it reminds me of that 'how to pay off your mortgage in 2 years program' where everyone was really miserable! My ultimate hope is I can hold out coz then when I have a second baby I would ask to go part time, if it gets declined again its not the end of the world and my hubby might go part time and I do the night job so we have better quality time or he could set something up from home. If I couldn't finish it now and left work we would be living a bit like we are but without the over payments. I think we might have an official term now of 14-15 years, obviously we could remortgage to get the time back to 30 years and be more comfortable...but that would kill me after all the hard work!!
I guess the thing is is you've not been able to cope u fight it for ages and then when u go you're not as strong so next time you 'break' easier. Something silly can have me hysterically crying in a few minutes whereas before it would take a few bad things to happen. I always promised myself if it got awful I would just leave, I'm just so addicted to this mortgage thing that I keep gritting my teeth, however this has been an awful month so february does need to be better or I will be off!!!!

I hope your work get better too Pammy, why does life have to be so tough?!

gerbiljo

Should add that once we hit 2013 if we pay all our debts we would work out £1200 ish better off a month which is half my salary so considering our overpayment more or less removes my need to work...grrr going on a day to day basis to how I feel, thing is my notice is 2 months- I'd change my mind 10 times during that time! If it was 24hours I'd of left so many times!!