The Bad Mummies Thread

Spendless

Dazi wrote: »

DD once drank aftershave, how I cursed 'Billy and his barrels' that taught her how to unscrew things.

I once thought DS had swallowed a whole bottle of calpol. :eek: He was teething and I'd got the medicine out and given him some in the night. Then put the medicine with the cap back on on my bedside table. I'd got the bottle from a different chemist and the bottles and tops were slightly different to what I was used to, so I didn't realise I hadn't 'locked' it.
The following morning DH got up and put baby in our bed then went to work. I was aware baby was there but hadn't opened my eyes though I was awake. Then I felt something sticky, first I thought nappy had burst but couldn't work out why it was wet and sticky so I opened my eyes and saw DS with an empty bottle of calpol in his hands. :eek::eek::eek:
Rush off to A & E, admitted to ward and had to wait so long before they could do blood tests, then wait for results than came back ...no trace. DS had thrown the mixture all over the bed clothes.

Also DS we moved house but had to live at a relatives for a while, they had a back 'junk' room. One day I heard a burrr -ing noise. Went to investigate. There was 19 month old son with a cordless drill in his hand and had just drilled a hole thru a piece of plywood.

On another occassion I left an unassembled steamer on the side. In the time it took me to go to the loo. DS had assembled it, pluggged it in (though not switched it on at the wall) :eek:and was on the way back from the freezer with a joint of meat. :rotfl:

This rugrat is now weeks off his 10th birthday and asked me last night when I was going to let him start doing DIY jobs round the house. Told him it's not that I don't want you to, it's that I don't want to admit to the hospital that I let you. :rotfl:

vik6525

Spendless wrote: »

This rugrat is now weeks off his 10th birthday and asked me last night when I was going to let him start doing DIY jobs round the house. Told me it's not that I don't want you to, it's that I don't want to admit to the hospital that I let you. :rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

When my cousins son was about that age, he REALLY wanted to help his Mum paint the living room, so she thought 'well, 10 is pretty responsible' and let him.

She left the room to go to the loo, and by the time she came back, he'd...


Glossed the dog! :eek::eek::eek:

Spendless

^^^^^
Just spat all over my PC screen. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

wannabe_sybil

Little bear sleeps with a bucket on his head.

He was given a Halloween bucket at Christmas by my sil (long story - she is not a bad auntie at all!) and from the first insisted it was a hat. It fit him very well. He refused to go without it. We cut the handle off to reduce the potential for choking/breaking neck and left him to it.

Last summer he slept in his wellie boots. In fact, he never took them off for days at a time. I thought that there were worse things (like a bucket on the head) and left him to it. After a particularly furious encounter with the shower I have a marvellous memory (but alas no photos) of LB stumping crossly along the landing in just goosebumps and his wellies!

wannabe_sybil

vik6525 wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

When my cousins son was about that age, he REALLY wanted to help his Mum paint the living room, so she thought 'well, 10 is pretty responsible' and let him.

She left the room to go to the loo, and by the time she came back, he'd...


Glossed the dog! :eek::eek::eek:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::eek::eek::eek::eek:

bertiebots

angelicmary85 wrote: »

I had one shot of morphine with my 1st and NOTHING with my 2nd...Not my choice...I wanted to be a bad mummy dosed up to the eyeballs on morphine!

I couldn't do the whole whale music thing, giving birth is bloody painful and the last thing you'd want is to get pis$ed off by a bunch of ooooeeee noises in the background then getting set on fire because the massage oil caught fire from the flame of the candle!

Have just remembered I had the fantastic idea of trying a tens machine when having ds2 . Anyway when he was 2 weeks overdue they insisted that I go and be induced and off me and dh went to the hospital with everything packed. It took a few ours for the induction to work, but my god when it started it started. My dh helpfully stuck the tens to my back and I switched it on...it seemed to be working for a while (about half an hour) but then I wasnt sure if the pains were getting stronger or the batteries where running out , I had the thing set on full... Dh husband dutifully changed the batteries , switched it back on, and the resulting shock was so powerful I was nearly shot out of the ward window I was stood by:rotfl:Ds decided he wasnt going to put up with any of that carp and decided he was coming out. I was wheeled at haste to the delivery room whilst screaching for drugs. The midwife wasnt convinced ,so it appeared ,that baby was coming and decided to exit the room...just as ds was entering. My dh called her back just in time:eek:

jackieb

vik6525 wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

When my cousins son was about that age, he REALLY wanted to help his Mum paint the living room, so she thought 'well, 10 is pretty responsible' and let him.

She left the room to go to the loo, and by the time she came back, he'd...


Glossed the dog! :eek::eek::eek:

Was it a Dulux dog?

pigpen

jackieb wrote: »

Was it a Dulux dog?

It was when he'd finished!!!

'Roll over' lol

PrincessPlaty

pigpen wrote: »

It was when he'd finished!!!

'Roll over' lol

:rotfl::rotfl: Makes me remember the time my cat decided to rub her body along a newly emulsioned purple wall :eek:
She wasnt impressed when i was trying to get it out :rotfl::rotfl:

MatildaPearl

I am a bad mummy because:

I read all your posts and laughed with relief

I have started smoking again (but not in the house or in front of DD)

She eats baked beans and toast at least 4 times a week

I"ve been known to consume a very large glass of wine before bf at bedtime in order to ensure she goes to sleep..

I've told her chocolate is eaten by grownups because it's horrible and we do it so kids don't have to

There are many days when I count the years till I can change the locks on the front door..

What's the point of daily floor washing when she eats fluff, sits next to the cat all the time and generally enjoys digging around in mank..

etc..