Does it bother you if people forget your birthday?

lab-lover

The people that matter always remember and thats all that counts.

gabyjane

SandC wrote: »

It's a strange one. I certainly don't do fuss like a lot of people I know, but I would be a bit miffed if I didn't get cards or at least a text off friends.

I have a friend who I keep in touch with from school days. I left where we lived at age 10 and I am now 39, she is 40. I have seen her once since then, when we were about 24/25. She never forgets my birthday. Yet people close to me frequently do.

I always remember other people's. But then again I really don't want a fuss, so maybe something in between.

I was let down by friends on both my 21st and 30th birthdays but luckily each time I had other pals to lean on. My 40th is now approaching and I won't be let down because I've booked a holiday of a lifetime for myself and won't be doing any celebrating.

My boss at work never gets me a pressie because he forgets every year. Sorry, I know I'm his PA but I draw the line at putting my own birthday in his diary! Then when I come round with cakes or chocs on the day he realises again that he forgot. I just find that amusing.

What I do miss is that a group of gal pals and me always used to go out for each other's birthdays. That rarely happens any more. Fellas and families have got in the way. It's not so much the birthday issue that bothers me, it's that none of them care enough to commit themselves to seeing their pals on those few occasions over the year. I always think each month of who has a birthday and remember that they might be organising a night out around the date - but these days it just isn't happening.

Thanks for the reply..your post above highlights what bugs me i think in a nutshell! I used to go out every year for friends birthdays and them me..it was a biggish thing and i guess i miss that..the funny thing is i am like you and hate fuss and attention! (i got married abroad with close friends and some family to avoid everyone looking at me!)..
My friend who i am most suprised at drove past me this morning grinning away waving and i thought 'i wonder how long it will take for her to call' as im tired of always being the one to do it!.
Think ill go away next year!!

gabyjane

lab-lover wrote: »

The people that matter always remember and thats all that counts.

Thats very true thanks xx

RadoJo

Curious_George wrote: »

OP - yes, it annoys me every year
I dont particulalrly like my birthday anymore because it comes and goes with very little change to a normal day, which would be fine if it were the same for everybody but it isnt...
in one of my little groups of friends there have been plans already for a big birthday do for one of the group, her day isnt til the end of april and it isnt a big number birthday but we are all expected to make a fuss, chip in for a limo etc
and what did i get for my birthday? nothing...not even a card

i dont say anything but eventually someone has to notice that i havent had a birthday in the time they have known me?! lol

To be honest, if you don't say anything, then why would things change? Is all this fuss about your other friend's birthday a secret from her? Because in my experience the people who get a big fuss made of their birthdays are the ones who make a big fuss - if you want people to rememeber, have a party and invite them, show them that you are excited and they will join in.
As an adult I don't expect anyone to make a fuss over my birthday except my OH - we normally take the day of work for both of our birthdays and spend the time doing something fun, but if I wanted a big shindig, I would have to get the ball rolling.

I have to admit that I really can't stand it when people are all coy about their birthday, don't tell anyone and then act all hard done-by when people don't remember (although in fairness this usually only applies at work because why would I remember all my colleagues' birthdays?).

Curious_George_2

but if you do say anything you sound like a spoilt child!
look at some of the replies this thread has had! honestly.. try and say "you all forgot my birthday again" without sounding like an idiot! lol

i dont say anything about them not making a fuss, people know its my birthday as its on my facebook profile for a start, i even had a few messages from people asking when our birthdays were as they had a new calendar and didnt wanrt to forget anyone but the day still sailed by with no mention simply because its so soon after christmas and people are all "ohhh ive been out too much already, ive spent too much already" blah blah blah

i had one party, for my 21st and it did not go well (that was mostly down to my dad planning it for the sunday night before everyone went back to work after the chrimbo break!!!)
it doesnt matter how much planning etc i put into it people always have an excuse in the first week of january! i arranged a 40th birthday party for my OH whos birthday is just as bad being 3 days before mine and while there were about 15 of us having a meal in the end, the "close" friends that dropped out at the last minute really annoyed me

im not coy about it, i just dont want to have to say things like ive written in these posts out loud because you sound like you have a bottom lip out and are expecting the world to revolve around you... and thats not who i am (a little spin now and then might be nice though )

Sneezy

It annoys me if the people who forget expect special treatment/meal out/present on their birthday!

My friend who is 3 months younger ended up forgetting my birthday in Dec (even though she sent me a message about 10 days after asking me what i was up to and i said trying to figure out how to spend my birthday money - she still didn't bother) - and she will end up contacting her old group of school friends about 2-3 weeks before her birthday and expect to do/get something!

Last year she did that (no contact between Christmas and a couple of weeks before her birthday - when she arranged to go out for a meal!) and in the middle of the night on the day we were due to go out she sent a meesage saying that she wouldn't be able to go because she was working (which was a load of cobblers because she said that she was seeing her bf in a message a few weeks later!)

I've learnt my lesson now!

beachbeth

Sneezy wrote: »

It annoys me if the people who forget expect special treatment/meal out/present on their birthday!

This is what I hate! If people don't want to bother with my birthday then ok, so be it. But when they get upset/annoyed because I haven't bothered with theirs...... I just don't get it.

One of my relatives twice forgot the birthday of one of my daughters when they were little and I let it pass thinking she was just being forgetful, but then one year she missed my other daughter too. I just thought, well, I can't afford presents this year either and so I didn't bother with her 2 sons. She kept dropping huge hints about "Craig's birthday this weekend" and "when its Craig's birthday Im going to...." and I just ignored her. After Craig's birthday had passed (thats not his name by the way!) she kept saying things like "Oh yes, I remember, because that was at the same time as Craig's birthday" and "when it was Craig's birthday.......etc" I just ignored this too. :cool:

beachbeth

My daughter had a friend who used to pool money with her when it was someone else's birthday to buy them a present. However, when it was her own birthday she expected my daughter and the other friend to buy her something each and got quite upset when they pooled their money together to buy her something!

PasturesNew

I never do anything for my birthday. People say "why not?" and I say "Nobody wants to come" .. and I've tried organising a drink in years gone past, but at the last minute nobody can make even that.

This year I didn't even get any cards.

System

The one time it bothered me was my 18th.l Had to go into 6th form that day and not one person, including friends wished me happy birthday. Which considering everyone made a massive deal about everyone else's 18th annoyed me. That was a crap birthday, as later on no-one who i'd invited could be bothered to go out either.