Thinking of getting social services involved?

daska

Seeing as the Head has already been involved by the lad himself, it makes sense to let them know what's happened. Personally I'd encourage him to talk to the teachers about any problems he's having. If it gets to court then CAFCASS can ask for information from any source so the school, being independent, might turn out to be a good source of support.

When DS1 left to live with his father I rang Social Services because DS1 was upset that his father had made him make a 'final' choice. SS were very good and rang my ex to explain that he didn't have the right to prevent DS1 changing his mind.

It might be worth considering.

jack*tigger

Could you go to social services or call them and talk to them about the situation.
Ask their advice without going into too much detail or starting any balls rolling.
Just get a feel of how the land lies.
Also find a family solicitor and have a free 30 mins consultation. Again to see what your options are.

Are there any other family members who could intervene with the mother. Try to make her see how much this is affecting her child.

The only other thing you can do is be there for your OH and DS and be strong for them while this is all going on.
Good luck with it all.

lepetit

Feel quite scared today, we went to his class assembly today and he came up to us afterwards really sheepish almost, not his normal self (his mother was there also, a bit behind him) obviously we didn't get to talk to him.
But when we had a word with his headteacher later she said she seemed fine.
Just worried, its awful not being there for him all the time during this!!
Getting paranoid!

lepetit

Hi,
I haven't heard from anyone on this and could really use some support.
To update we got a letter back from her saying we were causing the LO stress and we were threatening her...all absolute rubbish as the one stressing him out is her because she is listening to what he wants. Also stated she was always good to us and that we are being mean etc.
Anyway we sent one back saying that she needed to relise she was the one causing him stress and to remind her all that she has done i.e last year she tried to stop the LO seeing his dad on his birthday against what he wanted!
We just had an amazing day on Saturday and becuase we were doing something very special we requested he was with us for Fri and Sat night which she obliged because she really couldn't of said no to the LO over this, so we waited for her to let us know what time she wanted him to be dropped off to her this morning and we get a call today at 9am, where are you? i've been calling and texting you etc etc (no texts received, we got a call which we tried to return but phone was constantly engaged!) calling my fiance a bad dad etc so he told her to stop all this and start lsitening to their son and it went on a bit but no swearing, shouting or threatening from my fiance and we dropped the LO off at 9:45, she pulls up in her car and then her husband pulls up in another car (don't know if this was meant to intimidate my fiance but it only scared the LO poor guy)
Then this afternoon we got a call from the police, can we come over for a chat, and so this pc turns up and says the ex has reported harassment and then what happened this morning. So we had a chat about it all, not very positive, he said he was trying to 'mediate' or something. Seemed quite on the ex's side and we found out that the pc had even spoken to the LO!!!! At this point I started crying because I just can't believe what she will put him through to try and stop the LO having what he wants!!
The stress that poor boy must be feeling because of her.
Feeling very fed up...why doesn't she just relise that doing what the LO wants is best? why doesn't she relise how much stress she is causing the LO? why does she have to fight us every flipping step of the way???
My fiance is the most amazing father and I find it sickening that as a mother she be trying to push him out of the child's life as much as possible and make it as difficult as possible for both my fiance and little boy to have a life together in peace!

Sorry I know it a huge rant etc but I just really need some support and advice.
(Went to see solicitor and got legal advice, said the letters were a go way to start etc)

daska

Did you suggest to the PC that a conversation with the headmistress might give an independent point of view?

lepetit

Yep we did, he said that wouldn't be necessary. We are thinking of insisting on it and insisting on them speaking to the LO at school, an objective location as whatever he said to them at hers would have been tainted by his worry that she may hear him.

daska

I doubt that you can insist and I doubt it will happen unless the police decide to take it further. And even then it might be up to you to ask her to write a statement for you.

Did the head speak with his mum about what your stepson told her? Might be worth a line to keep the school informed. Whilst schools don't like to be in the middle of arguments it was your step-son that brought them into the picture.

Hectors_House

lepetit wrote: »

We saw the headteacher today who confirmed to us that the little one is really gunning for this and that his mind is made up so it is great to know for our own peace of mind and to quiet all the doubters that we aren't pulling him into something he doesn't want and that he wants this as much as us.
Headteacher was really amazing as well, said she would be backing us also as she sees this is best for the LO that's all they care about so she is willing to support us any way she can.
She is going to try to speak to his mother tomorrow but also said that from what she knows of his mother (they have spoken several times before about stuff like this in the past) we will end up in court because his mother won't let it go!
So that's a bit scarey and we need to know where to start with all that really.

All the very best of luck with this.

It makes my present fears/concerns pale in comparison (and I don't say that in a 'trying to get sympathy way' LOL!).

lepetit

Yeah we have got in touch with the head so that she can check on how the LO is after all that and we have asked to meet with her.

peachespeaches

Im racking my brains to try and think how we got our legal fees paid for. I got residence orders for my four grandchildren, and now have special guardianship and I got my legal fees paid. Social services were involved, I dont want to go into detail though. I seem to think that once the case went to the family court, I asked to be made party to the proceedings and this meant that I got my legal fees paid (not by means test). I started out going to a solicitor though as they did the first session free and gave me a lot of advice through that. I seem to remember you can apply to the court for leave to apply for a residence order simply by filling in a form. I think the crucial thing in getting our legal fees paid was getting the case to court though.

I know it is possible to go without a solicitor, but to be honest ours was worth his weight in gold and managed to get us lots of other help too.