Thinking of getting social services involved?

lepetit

He wants to because he doesn't feel listened to by he and the main 'argument' as it were is that she believes it is all my fiance putting words in his mouth which frustrates the little one on end!
Yeah lol we know all about her drive to use their son for the money, she could cope, her and her husband both work - she recieves CSA, child benefit etc but she can survive but she is money hungry.

daska

Yes, but is his being involved in mediation actually an option, have you confirmed this? as I said earlier it's not usually open to the children, only the adults. Mediation only works if both parties are willing to listen and compromise.

lepetit

Yes it is an option the mediation service in our encourages a 'child's voice'
I know she won't want to compromise but I hope that seeing that an objective adult is listening to how unhappy he is and how much he wants the change will cause her to change her tune?
Surely her solicitor would advise that if she is making him unhappy it won't look good should it go to court? As she is supposed to act in his best interests?

RAS

lepetit wrote: »

I know she won't want to compromise but I hope that seeing that an objective adult is listening to how unhappy he is and how much he wants the change will cause her to change her tune?
Surely her solicitor would advise that if she is making him unhappy it won't look good should it go to court? As she is supposed to act in his best interests?

The question is "Do you want to compromise?"

lepetit

Well we have compromised for the last 5 years so going forward it is all about what my stepson wants and he is set on joint residency, he sees this as fair as he says he loves them both the same so why can't he see them the same.
Why should we make him compromise when he has been put through so much the last 5 years?

stacylou

hi there.. when i was 13 me and my mum were at war with each other, i was always upset and really didnt want to stay with her any longer, a close family friend could see i was really unhappy and stepped it to help out, she took me to SS to do it the proper way so my mum couldnt get all bitter and get the family friend into trouble... SS asked me what i wanted to do if i wanted to live at home or live with a family member, i picked a family member as i felt like it was the only way, SS can help they arent always the greatest people but for me they did me a favour, if ur step son is unhappy then he's the only one with the answers, if you do call on SS let your Step son do all of the talking let him decide what he wants, that way hes mother has no choice but to listen to him and if he decide he wants to come stay with you then his monther will have to deal with it and if shes unhappy with the situation then let her take you to court, the court will ask your son the same question's

hope what ever road you take help's make your stepson happy.

lepetit

Thanks stacylou - that's really hlepful thank you!
He will definately talk as long as he feels free to do so, unfortunately his mother doesn't listen to him at all or what my fiance says to her about what he wants it is all simply dismissed as 'your father's words not yours' which is extremely frustrating for him and has really worn him down.

lepetit

I'm amazed!
Today my stepson took his headteacher aside and said he wanted to have a talk with her, from what he said ot us, he really opened up to her about wanting to live with his dad.
I'm amazed he did this off his own back, according to him she said whatever he wants is best for him and he wants us to go in and talk to her.
His seems to really be taking things into his own hands and we really want this to happen for him.
What else can we do???

lepetit

Another wall we have hit is we are thinking of going to mediation but whilst it is all good in principle, what if she goes and simply refuses to listen or do anything?? - What would her solicitor advise her to do?

BitterAndTwisted

Wait and see what the headteacher has to say. They may have more information and be able to offer help that you don't know anything about yet. He's such a brave and clever boy, isn't he?