Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Mags30

Souk08 wrote: »

I didn't really mean them but your wee wifey who does stuff for everyone but herself. What I think I'm also trying to say is that I really enjoy all this and I feel a bit sad for them that they don't get all this pleasure.

You know when you watch GOK and other makeover programmes the women are just afraid of shopping because there is so much choice it's overwhelming and intimidating. You can't just buy a pair of jeans anymore, it's like ordering coffee at Starbucks you need to know what you want, skinny, straight-cut, bootcut, low rise, boyfriend cut.....same goes for underwear, moisturiser. I can see how it's complicated for some people.

Anglea wrote: »

So what do you ladies think about those news articles about people wearing pj's in the street? I've never seen it - yet.

Happens in Ireland too, I saw a group of teenage girls in Tesco one Saturday morning, all in pyjamus. That was kind of cute, like a pyjama party but mostly people look as if they've escaped from a hospital.

Souk08

Was up at my local hospital yesterday (my Docs is there). Must say it was lovley to see pregnant women in dirty dressing gowns smoking a fag!

Anglea

Shocking sights in hospitals, I've seen some odd things.

Mags re the clothing choices can be overwhelming. Back in the dark ages straight after having my children and couldn't immediately fit back into my normal clothes, I went round the shops and it was as though I was in a parallel universe, there seemed to be so much choice I didn't know where to start. Or it could have been I was very tired from sleepless nights. I thought I was going a bit mad until another mum told me she felt the same. It felt like having to start all over again whereas before I had certain labels and styles that I knew looked right on me. Now even the colours didn't suit me anymore. Weird experience that was.

CompletelyLost

Anglea wrote: »

On this subject, I used to always wear make up and when I got pregnant, something happened to my skin and I couldn't use eye liner, mascara eye shadow - anything! I tried every product known to man - no matter what cost - and still couldn't use it.

So I had to go without - and no cars crashed when I passed, no-one walking past me rang for the police in horror! And once I got used to it I felt a sort of freedom I couldn't begin to describe.

Before, I used to get very self conscious around men, and worry if I looked ok. I couldn't even leave the house if it got cold and my nose got red! LOL Once I was free of make up I became very confident and I could talk to anyone without any fear.

^I don't think a day has gone by since I was about 14, that I haven't applied makeup before going out. I couldn't go without it. I guess that says a lot about me! I admit I don't have a lot of confidence in my looks, and I feel 100x better with makeup. Saying that, I could go without everything except eyeliner... if I had to.

Mags30 wrote: »

Sometimes they just value other things. I've come across some really frumpy looking women who were so highly educated as in Phd's and professors. They devote all their time to research and learning. They have no interest in walking around shops/trying on shoes/hair appointments/waxing appointments. All of that is loads of work, it just doesn't feel like work to us on this thread. But people who have educated themselves to that level must value themselves.

I was watching the Late Late Show earlier (Irish chat show). Nancy Griffith was a guest. I haven't heard of her in years, all I kept noticing was her grey hair. She's obviously more dedicated to the music than the sale shopping and grooming.

I'm sort of convinced that it's the women who don't feel the need to dress up like we do who are much more confident.

I think it's 50/50 to be honest. Some women choose not to dress up because they don't see why they should just to suit society (i.e people who judge others on what they wear)... or maybe they don't feel like they need to make themselves look better as they have enough confidence to go without.

Others (like my mother) go without because they simply don't have time when they're bring up kids - my mum had four kids under 6 to look after on her own - we were her priority, and she doesn't resent that at all. Once we all reached 10 though, she went back to her usual fashion-conscious self. In fact she looks better at 50 than she ever did at 30

Anglea wrote: »

Perhaps they don't dress up but still got buying and hoarding problems in other areas.

So what do you ladies think about those news articles about people wearing pj's in the street? I've never seen it - yet.

It's ridiculous. I was picking up my Chinese takeaway the other day and a girl walked in in her skanky dirty pjs, slippers, dressing gown and bed hair. My jaw dropped :eek: - I mean this girl's pjs weren't even nice, they were dirty and old. I would not like anyone to see me like that... I think a lot of them do it for the attention. ETA: when I say 'girl', she was in her twenties.

Souk08

I agree that it's for attention! (The Pj thing that is). Each to their own on the scruffy v smart thing I guess. I know where I am, to the degree that I've been told I dress slightly older than my years as I always like to look smart. Can't do the whole funky, deconstructed thing at all, you know the sort of slouchy look? I'm small with big boobs and a small waist so my figure looks better when I wear something with a beginning, a middle and an end ie that comes in in the middle hence I often wear dresses.

Shoe_Gal

Souk08 wrote: »

I'm with Vivienne Westwood on this one i.e 'When in doubt, always overdress' (I think it was). I'm always out and about and love dresses and heels. I have a total fear of looking scruffy and feel a bit ill at the thought of ever ending up looking like I've given up! I just think it says so much about how much you value yourself and feel really sad when I see frumpy or dowdy women who obviously don't prioritise themselves. I don't think this has much to do with money either.

Fab post :j:j

I tend to dress up most of the time too - don't do anything 'grungey' looking!

Shoes - Kurt Geiger are my favourites (and I don't always wait for the sale ) and am loving Bertie this winter (worn my shoeboots loads)! Love River Island for heels and Next for work shoes - and then pretty much anything else that takes my fancy! My dream is to own Manolo's

morocha

Some women do not do the whole hair, make up and clothes because they do not know what suits them. My mom was like that.. didnt wear any make up till her middle thirties, and i had to teach her how to do things, she is only now learning... me in the other hand, always loved to have my nails painted, natural make up on,hair done, nice clothes but i do like looking like casual style, not overdressed, simple.

of course there are many aswell that have a big head and think that they look stunning and do not need all of "that". I mean i know a girl who is kind of fresh face always and the clothes she wears do not suit her cos she has like a pre teenage body in her late 20 ( i am not trying to be mean, but she is very skinny and have no boobs, waist or bum).
When we meet up with the girls, all of us make up, hair done, nails perfect, she look at us like weirdos, and she says she does not need all of that, kinda like she is better than us, which gets on my nerves, because none of the girls over do it, and each one of them even with nothing on, look better than this girl.

leanne82duke

i love dressing up, but have to say that if i wore what i wanted to/ felt comfy and stylish in i would feel really overdressed at the school gates.
i wear makeup every day, the same as i brush my hair everyday, i just think it has become part of my routine.
since i became ill with crohns disease 3 years ago i find it even more essential to make me feel "normal" even in hospital i applied a small amount of makeup to make things feel normal.
i think it shows alot about how people cope and feel about their lives, i dress better now than i did as a teen, i'm now 27
my only outstanding debt atm is for clothes i have bought from the very website.......which i admit every time i get it down i build it back up again :mad: but i have not used it this month and i want to stick to that ! x

NGlady

In regards to makeup. I actually very rarely wear it :O my Grandma, never wore makeup in her life, and until she was about 65 she didnt really have the lines of life. So day-to-day I normally wear some vasaleene on my lips and maybe a bit of lipgloss but thats about it, then when I go out I wear a light coating of shimmer, mascara bit of eye shadow and lipstick but im not really glued to it lol. Not that I think im better than anybody with my clear face but I just dont like wearing it all the time However I admit, if I am going somewhere new, like a job interview, or on a date or something my face is fully made up lol. I love my nails painted, just wish I could do them a little better lol.

Know what you mean about people who dont really take a pride in their appearance. I think sometimes its a case of not having the money to do so, not really wanting to dedicate the time, or the feeling of not needing to confirm to social norm. In my head, if i dont have my eyebrows done kids are going to scream at the catapillar brow lady, people WILL notice if I wear the same outfit two saturdays on the trot, but in reality they wont. I do tend to overdress a lot, and its a bit of a nightmear for me, the thought of say going to a resturant in my jeans and a top when its really a dressy place, but i think that comes from my early teens of going out and not really having many options of what to wear so I did often stand out.

I never used to wear glasses - always lived in my contact lensers. Then, my optician told me off, wasnt impressed i wore contacts 365 days a year from about 7am until 11pm. So I wore glasses, adittedly new designer ones, but glasses. The first time I went out, bearing in mind I wouldnt normally wear glasses I was told how lovely i looked in them, now since June if ive wore contact lensers 10 times thats probably over estimating it!

If I won the lotto - would I shop in the sales still? Deffinatly. Would I invest in a designer pair of shoes and a hangbag, more than likely, but it would be in the single sence, just the one not the need for a wardrobe full of designer.

I have a small walk in wardrobe. When we moved house in May last year I had my wardrobe perfectly organized. Wardrobe 1 - going out clothes. Wardrobe 2 - work clothes wardrobe 3 - day-to-day clothes and then my shoes were on the shelves in wardrobe 1 and 2 - however now... well I need a good sorting out lol.

Shoe_Gal

I am another makeup everyday girl - but if I am honest a lot of my need for makeup/hair/nails/clothes comes from a basic lack of confidence I have out on weight recently and that has lowered ny self esteem even more