Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

Mags30

salesaddict wrote: »

I think I buy new things to try to be attractive.

Souk08 wrote: »

I just think it says so much about how much you value yourself and feel really sad when I see frumpy or dowdy women who obviously don't prioritise themselves. I don't think this has much to do with money either.

This must be insecurity/lack of confidence. It's like we are dressing up to try and prove something to someone. I think that sometimes the frumpy/dowdy women (as we would see them) are the ones with real confidence, they don't feel this stupid need to dress up to look better than other people. They aren't trying to impress anybody.

For a while I worked as a teacher. Often the teenage girls would compliment my clothes and ask where I had purchased things. This was such a compliment to me that girls 10 years younger than me were impressed by my look. It encouraged me to shop for more of the same. They loved Benefit make-up, I had a Benefit make up bag as my pencil case....

Then I had a boyfriend who was in a band. When I went to gigs I wore clothes that got some compliments from fans, which encouraged me to find an even better outfit for the next night...

CompletelyLost wrote: »

I have to agree about it having nothing to do with money though - thanks to Primark and other cheap shops, most people have no excuse not to dress half decent.

Agreed, money doesn't buy you style. Any of us could go to Harrods or Selfridges and try on clothes and loads of them just wouldn't suit us anyway regardless of price. But I don't like my clothes to look cheap even though most of them are!

If I had more money I'd spend it on doing up my house or on holidays rather than clothes. I love clothes but I don't think they are the best way to spend money.

Souk08

Mags30 wrote: »

This must be insecurity/lack of confidence.

Not at all Mags, honestly feel sorry for women who obviously don't give a toss about their appearance and don't think they're mega confident at all, just that they can't be bothered! Just my opinion.

Anglea

On this subject, I used to always wear make up and when I got pregnant, something happened to my skin and I couldn't use eye liner, mascara eye shadow - anything! I tried every product known to man - no matter what cost - and still couldn't use it.

So I had to go without - and no cars crashed when I passed, no-one walking past me rang for the police in horror! And once I got used to it I felt a sort of freedom I couldn't begin to describe.

Before, I used to get very self conscious around men, and worry if I looked ok. I couldn't even leave the house if it got cold and my nose got red! LOL Once I was free of make up I became very confident and I could talk to anyone without any fear.

Mags30

Souk08 wrote: »

I just think it says so much about how much you value yourself and feel really sad when I see frumpy or dowdy women who obviously don't prioritise themselves.

Sometimes they just value other things. I've come across some really frumpy looking women who were so highly educated as in Phd's and professors. They devote all their time to research and learning. They have no interest in walking around shops/trying on shoes/hair appointments/waxing appointments. All of that is loads of work, it just doesn't feel like work to us on this thread. But people who have educated themselves to that level must value themselves.

I was watching the Late Late Show earlier (Irish chat show). Nancy Griffith was a guest. I haven't heard of her in years, all I kept noticing was her grey hair. She's obviously more dedicated to the music than the sale shopping and grooming.

I'm sort of convinced that it's the women who don't feel the need to dress up like we do who are much more confident.

Souk08

Okay we'll agree to disagree on that. Know what you mean about really clever women and I didn't really mean them but your wee wifey who does stuff for everyone but herself. What I think I'm also trying to say is that I really enjoy all this and I feel a bit sad for them that they don't get all this pleasure.

Anglea

Perhaps they don't dress up but still got buying and hoarding problems in other areas.

So what do you ladies think about those news articles about people wearing pj's in the street? I've never seen it - yet.

Souk08

Oh God it's common up here, and I mean that it all senses of the word!!! Just lazy cows who can't be bothered to put their clothes on, seriously no ones that busy.

Anglea

I think it's the most unusual thing I've heard about and couldn't really believe it could be true.

I was just thinking, imagine if we had a meet up, what kind of outfits we'd buy - I'd be jetting off to Milan to get mine in the sales

Mags30

Souk08 wrote: »

Not at all Mags, honestly feel sorry for women who obviously don't give a toss about their appearance and don't think they're mega confident at all, just that they can't be bothered! Just my opinion.

Well everyone does tend to judge on appearance, initial impressions and all that so it does help to look nice even for people who'd rather talk about their important work than the Debenhams/M+S/Boots sale.



@salesaddict I get a real thrill out of finding a bargain. Even if I had the money I would still shop this way. Do you think that is strange or wrong?

Bargain hunting isn't strange or wrong! I think if I won the Lotto I wouldn't bother to check the sale rails in Primark but I'd still dress like I do now because the clothes I wear suit me. I might buy them at full price but we are talking full price M+S, not full price designer. I'd prefer to invest the money in my house than my wardrobe.


I could not do this. Everything is too crammed in at the moment.
How about you?

I'll do a wardrobe pic next week (in bed with the laptop just now)

Souk08

I'd be rooting about in the sale stockroom for sure! And yes it's true, rough women in dirty dressing gowns clutching kids and smoking fags, very Jeremy Kyle! Saw one only a few weeks past! The jammies are the sort you'd have put in the bin ages ago too!